Boy Tala/Joel: SouthEast LeatherFest boy 2005
March 26, 2006
Spring is in the air and my allergies are causing me grief. In Florida the pollen is so thick on the ground and on your car you have to sweep it off or brush it off. It is what gives me headaches and sinus infections every spring and fall.
Yesterday, I spend 11 hours in the hospital waiting for the doctor to tell me I had another migraine and not bleeding on the brain after they were able to read the CT scan. My allergies cause a lot of my migraines. I suffer greatly from them, and will end up in bed for days because of them. Florida is one of the worse states to live in because we have 2 seasons basically - spring and summer.
So why am I writing about something so boring? Because I am not the only one who has these kinds of problems or other sicknesses, each year people suffer from different health issues that we take for granted. Yes, being sick is part of life. So, as I was laying there in bed drifting in and of sleep I thought about my family, both leather and vanilla and how much I love and care for them. As individuals sometimes forget to tell those we love how much we care for them and love them even when we are mad as hell at them. No, I am not mad at my family. I looked around at other people in the hospital and saw other people's battle wounds and it made me sad to think that people forget to love one another.
Relationships live and breathe on this thin line between love and hate. Living on this thin line you have to learn how to communicate and relate to those around you. Then you need to add life to your friendships and work. That thin line can become weak and shift very quickly if you don't find a balance within yourself. So, here is this lil boy's advice for the spring.
Always tell your family that you love them even in the middle of a fight. Always take time to smell the flowers at the store, even if you are a man or boy, to learn to appreciate the beauty of creation. Never forget the children learn from you even if you are not their parent but a stranger on the street. Not all relationships lead to a bedroom door; some lead to a deeper commitment called home and that is where the heart resides. Live each day with love on our mind and you will soar with the wind.
As to BDSM related stuff, I went to our local MasT meeting in March where the topic was on protocol and routines. I learned the differences between the two and sometimes what begins as protocol can become routine and loses it leather sacredness. It is not easy to keep protocols going and keep the leather sacredness of it intact. However, it is how you do it and when you do, but mostly what you personally put into it. That is what keeps it sacred. Though I have a list of rules, I learned that not all of them fall under protocols but are routines for living instead. To me they are my rules so therefore they were protocols. I came to understand that not all rules have to be a protocol, furthermore, that it is ok to have a routine in BDSM and not make it a "big" thing.
I went home that night from MAsT with a lot to consider. It took me awhile to realize these things and come to understand it. MAsT stands for "Masters and slaves Together" and for more information about MAsT, please visit: www.mast.net.
Respectfully, Boy Tala Southeast Leatherfest Boy 2005
December 19, 2005
Happy Holidays,
As this season comes upon us, we are reminded of when we were younger, how we spent our time with family and friends. Hmmm, I look back at those times and wonder why they could not have lasted a little while longer. But as time would have it, it ended just as quickly as it came.
The year was 1979, I was 15 years old, it would be the last time I would celebrate Christmas with my Mother. I remember that morning waking up and running down stairs to the see the Christmas tree all lit up and presents surrounding it. Just on the right side of the tree was this stuffed horse. It was the one I saw in a window that year and I longed for it. I named the big stuffed horse Terra. Some time after my oldest daughter turned 5 she wanted to sleep with Terra and so as it should be, I passed Terra to her. To this day she still has that stuff horse though there is very little hair on him and the red mouth is now blue. He was loved, and is still loved today.
Memories, though this story brings tears to my eyes, I have created other stories of my own with my own family and my extended family.
Stories; everyday you make a new page in your own book of life. Filling page after page, starting new chapters, and sometimes-new books when you make a decision in your life to change the direction in which to follow. I can say this past year I have changed, and started on a new path, one that was designed for me, by me.
I encourage everyone to take time this season to think about the pages they will be filling this year. Some pages that get filled we cannot control, that is part of the circle of life. But there are pages, which you choose to write. Take care in writing those pages, for those pages are your history in the ever changing world we call life.
How will you face the challenges that are brought to you, and how will you honor those challenges. Take time to give time to your family and friends, and to those who might need your helping hand this season.
Maybe as you are writing those pages, you might want to think about sitting at a keyboard and writing a few of your leather stories and pass them down to the leather community by emailing to me. Ahhh, you should of known there was a catch to this column.
Boy Tala Southeast Leatherfest Boy 2005
September 14, 2005
That was what I saw flash on the screen as I sat in my chair. I was not expecting his picture or his name to be up there. Within a split second tears stared to flow from my eyes, pain of what was, came knocking at my heart, the loss of my Daddy was still painful. This person, Sir Prince Tad placed something around my neck September 14, 2002 called a collar, and by 2003 following an accident he was in constant pain, in his back, that was when life changed for my family. No longer able to function without pain medication, we as a family watched him slowly fade away. His back was in need of another surgery; he was losing weight and not looking healthy. The stories he once told were not there anymore, his wisdom had been lost some where within. Changing medicine did not seem to help and in the end it proved to take his life.
So why write that short story? Because that person had many stories, many adventures and a lifetime of leather he wanted to share with me. He wanted me to be his legacy. The time that I had with him was short lived. I had about 6 really good months with him, then about 1 year of him being sick and under medication. What I had with him before he got sick was some remarkable times, working on his yard, fixing the house for his in-laws, the Ms World Program book and of course the adventures we had in the pool. Then there was Christmas, Thanksgiving dinners and many more things that I cannot began to tell. I was there just about every weekend with my son and girlfriend. It really does seem like a lifetime ago. Then life happened and he was taken from us.
So that brings me to where I am at right now. Daddy knew he did not have the amount of time he needed to share his stories with me. Nor do I have any written stories from him. So how can his legacy be carried on if 90% of his stories died with him? By making sure that what I do know from him, and what I know from others gets passed onto those who are just beginning their leather journey and to those who long to know our leather communities history. What you are doing today as leather folks, needs to be written and saved for our future generations.
I am working on creating a website in which we can go and share our stories with other leather folks here in the Southeast region and hopefully in the future expand it nationally. Our leather history is our backbone, and we as a community cannot afford to lose our history. We have come too far to stop and assume others will do it for us. We must put our stories down on paper and save them for our future leather folks to come. These stories are what builds foundations for the new leather folks that will come into the community. And that my friend is how our legacy will survive. It is those stories that you carry with you that just might change one person and give them that foundation that will last for generations to come. Please take time to write your stories down, email them to me so that I can post them on the website once it is built. The website is www.ourleatherhistory.com
As to my travel to Las Vegas, for Ms. World, I arrived there Friday morning about 40 minutes before my family arrived. Once at the hotel, I checked in with registration and got my volunteering duties for the weekend. That evening we went to a meet and greet. I was very tired but said my hellos and gave people hugs that I had not seen in awhile.
Saturday morning. - The girl's breakfast by ABW girl 2005 - girl Kim. There I met so many fabulous people. I had this cute boy take me around and introduce me to everyone that was there. Daddy Ron, was the one person who stood out for me the most. We had talked for sometime about being a titleholder. He really squashed down to get eye to eye with me and that just made this boy feel so good inside. I also got to meet his boy Ryan who is the ABW boy 2005.
As to the crossfire - wow - That was some intense action that makes me wonder how any one of them managed to walk away without feeling like they got hit square in the chest. Very intense questions with some very witty answers, great job by all of them.
Congratulations to Michelle for winning the Ms World 2005 title. I wish her the best of luck for the coming year.
Boy Tala
SouthEast LeatherFest Boy 2005
June 2005
I wanted to take a moment to thank those of you for believing in me, standing beside me and holding me when I needed encouragement.
My thoughts on winning have nothing to do with one simple thing, it has to do with from the moment I said yes, I would run, to Daddy Saliena back in January or February to receiving the title in June. It is a process of learning about the contest and what you can do with the tile if you should win. I feel honored to have been chosen to receive the title. I remember sitting in this very chair reading over the contest, the judges, writing my passions, my fantasy and when it was over and I was sitting back in this chair, I came to know myself a little bit better.
Though I may have been a lil boy standing on that stage alone, I stood there with you all in my heart and soul. It is because of my belief's in our leather family that kept me going on. It was the affirmation of my family and those who came before me that helped me to stay focused on my passions. My lifestyle, my community, my family is very important and I don't want to see our history lost or our traditions forgotten.
Getting out and speaking in public is another challenge this boy is gearing up for. On the 17th of June, I went to our local Women's Power Exchange Network, in St. Petersburg, FL, meeting where I was greeted with a roaring standing ovation. I stood there with confidence in myself and talked about traditions and my passion of keeping them. I talked about how we are a family whether we are gay, straight or pansexual that we need to stand together as one family. I could of not done that a year ago. I could not of found that courage to stand before my brothers and sisters in leather until I had walked my path this passed year.
Some of my goals this year is to get people to talk about their history and to make sure that they understand the importance of telling their story to those who are just beginning their leather journey. This will give them that foundation in which they can build upon and to grow from. The second thing is to bridge our communities together. We are one nation under one flag - our leather pride flag. United we stand - divide we shall parish. And many facets would love to see us parish away, stay divided as a community. I say, we stand as a family - I say, we are here to stay and preserve our history, our love and our family.
I will be looking for floor space or looking to share a room with others to help cut down on the cost. If you or a group are going to any of these events and open to sharing a space with me, please email me. I am looking forward to the challenges a title can bring, and to earning my title as well. If there is something that I can do for you, or if you have questions. Please feel free to contact me and I will do my best to answer them or find someone who can.
In Honor and Leather, Boy Tala Southeast Leatherfest Boy 2005