2020
MAsT - Raleigh, NC
Submissive Safe Haven Symposium

2019
Marched in the Winston-Salem Pride parade
Columbia Leather Order run - Dewy, Georgia
Leather History Preservation weekend in North Carolina
Sin in The City 2019
Atlanta Mentor Coalition - represented SELF on a board of title holders
Fundraiser for the Red Dragons riders club
Submissive Safe Haven weekend in Mebane, NC.
Tradesmen run, Trademark 33 - Charlotte NC
July -  Stars and Stripes Run - TarHeel Leather Club
August - Tobacco Road Chapter of Red Dragons RC First Anniversary Ride
F.A.K.E. Fort Mills Area Kink Educators in South Carolina.

2018
Tarheel Leather Club Run - July 6-8, 2018
July 14 - Kapu-Honu - Littles’ Round Table
August 4th - Little Leather Expo at Kapu Honu.
2018 Charlotte Pride parade carried the gender equality flag
September - SCLC contest at SC Pride in Leather
Greensboro MasT meetings
Dom Con in New Orleans, LA

 

October brought a wonderful opportunity to take a road trip with my Ma’am and my leather sister. We went to the Columbia Leather Order’s run held at Rivers Edge Campground in GA. I needed a way to nurture my soul by sharing space and enjoying the company of other kinksters in the aftermath of the death of my mother in law. I needed to reground my spirit/energy with nature which helps me process pain, emotional as well as physical. For me, literally planting my feet in the earth helps me process. I find peace by putting my bare feet on grass or my squishing my toes in mud. Chatting around a campfire and delighting in foolishness helped to lift my spirits.

I pestered, pouted, worked my manly magic until I convinced Ma’am to go with me this year. My leather sister and I went last year and had a ball. I have a picture somewhere that would embarrass my sissy to death. CLO never disappoints and we had an outstanding weekend in spite of the chilly rain that settled in for most of the weekend. There was a game room where we play darts and pool. We spent time in our cabin, built a fire in the fireplace and cuddled, reconnecting. We walked the trails from our cabin to other campsites and got drunk with other leather clubs talking and singing. Oh the off-key loud 80s rock ballads that filled the air that night. We surround ourselves with like-minded people and wonderful energy and it helped with some of the pain.

Today, I ended up at Hungry Mothers State Park in the hills of Va, where again I find myself walking in the woods feeling the energy. Taking time in the middle of more sorrow to find something in the natural world that seems so ancient compared to the short time we have on this planet. Talking to the park ranger to pass time, give myself a breath before returning to the
funeral home where I was attending the funeral of one of my leather sisters.

A_hearts_wish was my friend, sister, family, confident, cheerleader, and counselor. I considered her my mentor and advisor for dealing with my own slavery from a slave’s point of view. She understood what it was to wake up every morning and decide to be in service each and every day. She helped me deal with the reality of the day to day with laughter and joy. I will miss teasing her with spiders while she threatened me with clowns. (Our respective phobias) She was easy to talk to and it made sense when she spoke. She showed me that a slave could be an independent strong person and choose to bow to another’s will. She was graceful,fierce, honest, and loyal. I still strived to be that good of a boy. I will miss her dearly and I will hang on to those around me just a little bit tighter for awhile. And that’s okay.

2019 has been and will always be the year that I lost people that were dear to my heart and part of my well being.This year has been hard on my family, my friends, and my own well-being. It has made me realize how often we take life for granted. There always seems to be more time, until the time runs out. We think we are all going to be around forever and put things off until later. Sometimes later doesn’t come. I’m learning to cherish the time we have with each other and make memories. I am learning to let go of small hurts to make way for better memories. I’m looking forward to embracing the new year and hoping this year, maybe I’ll find myself with my feet in the sand at the beach with waves washing over my toes. This year I’ll hug you a little tighter and hold on a little longer.

In July, I went to the Stars and Stripes Run held by the TarHeel Leather Club which was at a hotel in Greensboro, NC. They had a drag show which was a wonderful sight to see and lots of cocktail parties as well. The comradery was amazing as well as the people. I hosted a cocktail party for SELF at the run making my own personal cocktail (Jesus juice) and serving it to the attendees. Maybe next time Ma’am will let me find a nun or a priest to serve it? That would be funny. Trippy and Armed, my leather family, hosted the pan-sexaul dungeon and the Red Dragons (Tobacco Road Chapter) fixed breakfast complete with dragon-shaped pancakes on Saturday morning.

While at the run, I got to witness the North Carolina Bootblack contest. Tricksy won the contest and I hope they have a great year. This contest is a feeder for SELF so I am sure I will see Tricksy again.

I am a founding member of the Tobacco Road Chapter of the Red Dragons MC club. In August, we had our first year anniversary ride and get together. A few members from the Old Dominion Chapter out of Virginia met us in Clarksville, VA. There we spent the weekend at a lake motel overlooking Bugg’s Island and Occoneechee State park. We swam at the pool and walked around the town of Clarksville looking at the thrift and antique shops that lined main street. This was the last time I saw my mother-in-law alive, so it is a bittersweet memory.

In September I had the privilege of speaking F.A.K.E. Fort Mills Area Kink Educators in South Carolina. Here we discussed what it is like being a titleholder, the dos and don'ts as well as all the ups and downs. Talking in front of small groups gives you a feel for the people around you and you can open up with some good discussions. Despite my phone dying and having a bit of difficulty finding the location, I had a blast. Everyone was so nice and asked great questions.

This October I am on my way to the Columbia Leather Order Run called Phoenix Rising which is held at The River’s Edge in Georgia. It’s a clothing optional venue with a heated swimming pool. They go all out with Halloween decorations, which is my favorite holiday, and great food. I was fortunate to attend last year with my leather sister. And I am thrilled to be going Oct 18-20 with family members and my beloved Ma’am. I hope to see you there: it’s well worth the drive for the experience.

In April, I attended the Submissive Safe Haven weekend in Mebane, NC. Here only the right side of the slash can attend, Dominants are not allowed unless they are teaching a class. Submissives, slaves, and switches take classes on bettering themselves as well as their dynamic. SSH(Submissive Safe Haven) offered a wide array of classes, such as Creating Butler Books, Danger Will Robinson, dating in the kink community, dealing with illness or catastrophic event in your dynamic. Lessons to be learned in identifying problems and becoming more skilled at being solution oriented. Basically, SSH is a place where you can mentally and emotionally recharge.

For me it’s a place to reground myself and recharge. To be around a group of people that understand submission or are just as willing as I to learn more about my submission. Beautiful surroundings complete with a pond that encouraged me to fish. (A childhood passion). Finding an atmosphere that encourages great fellowship with mutual-minded people is regenerating for the soul. No cable, limited internet and way off in the woods makes this one of the best places to attend if you can. There was something relaxing about being able to check in with Ma’am and then be free of any obligation to service. I returned grateful that I have a place of love and warmth. A place where I know what is expected and am loved.

In May, I attended the Tradesmen run, Trademark 33 which is held in Charlotte NC. The theme was Pirates of Leather and let me just say, there was plenty of booty running around. The company is always enjoyable and there were new people to meet and old friends to bite. There was enough alcohol consumed to drown a water buffalo. The pre-contest luncheon came complete with games and “fisiting” a pirate. The drag shows left me wishing for more dollars. The NCLC winner was Relly who I feel will represent North Carolina well in the upcoming year.

And now, I find myself in the drudges of laundry. It’s my job to wash the clothes and pick out what I’d like to wear in just a week when I am returning home to SELF. Ma’am has the final say, she always seems to dress me in ways that don’t make me look like I’m mowing the grass or dressed in the dark. I can’t believe the year is coming to an end. I have learned so much, met so many different people, and listened to the story of their journey. It has touched me in ways I didn’t expect. This is the part where I would like to say I’ve learned to be grateful and mindful of the people who helped shape my journey.

Thank you to my wonderful Ma’am allowed me the privilege to run, compete, and travel to enrich my life in the community. Thank you to everyone who contributed to my journey as 2018 SELF boy. Thank you to the staff and volunteers of SELF whose hard work makes this one of the best events in the Southeast.

In February, I went to Sin in The City were the variety of classes was massive. I had technical choices like CBT and handballing (fisting) and more heart-sensitive material like preparation for catastrophic Illness and death in a Master slave relationship. The classes made me cry, laugh, learn and showed me new things about myself and how I relate to the community. The fellowship from different regions of the county from California to North Carolina and countries in the world like Mexico was outstanding. Fostering learning in many ways beyond classes. The energy there was similar to SELF in all the ways I feel like attending SELF is going home. I watched a girl wearing a pig mask restrained to a frame using only paracord and needles get beat with dragons tails to make her move to the glee of her tormentor. The things I saw made an impression and the people I met brought joy to my journey.

I had the privilege of attending the Atlanta Mentor Coalition where I represented SELF on a board of title holders. We talked about running for a title and how we prepared for the competition. There a lot of questions, laughter, and singing.

I helped with a fundraiser for the Red Dragons riders club. We raised money and food for the Triad Health Project who help provide support and assistance for individuals living with HIV/AIDS and their families. They even provide free STI testing to the public.

I started a new job and still found time to enrich my slaveheart. As always, I attended dozens of events locally and continued to support the organizations that hold my heart. Being a leatherboy is all about learning more about myself, my relationships, and my connection to the larger community.

My journey continues with a series of new adventures starting with a train ride to New Orleans bound for DOMCON 2018. The train ride was long and hard on the butt but we made it in 24 hours. The scenery was amazing, crossing the Mississippi river and wandering around the streets of NOLA can now be crossed off my bucket list. My advice when traveling by train: bring creature comforts to make the ride easy like a blanket and pillow. Snacks are a must and there is plenty of storage space available for all the things. A peanut butter sandwich is 8 dollars on the train and a can soda is 3 dollars. Preparing for that cost is necessary to avoid sticker shock. When we got there I found myself in little’s headspace often. I loved being in NOLA: the smells, the ambiance of the bayou air, the sounds of jazz being played all over the city, and the food. OMG the food was amazing! I ate crawfish etouffee which is now one of my favorite foods, alligator sausage, and real turtle soup. I know my eclectic stomach had a ball with the soul food I ingested. DOMCON is geared toward professional dominants that get paid for their services to patrons. All are welcome to go but that's the general idea of the event. I met tons of interesting, wonderful people and learned more about myself and my relationships. I encountered dozens of people who had travelled worldwide practicing their kink. Alas, I came back home wanting to return for the food and atmosphere that was New Orleans. When added to the adventure of a Kinky Event and learning new things, it’s a must do.

I marched in the Winston-Salem Pride parade with my family, both Bio and Chosen, my club, and a wall of advocates. The turnout of people was amazing and gave me hope that future kinksters will have the support needed to love who they choose. I attended The South Carolina Leather Contest where Boy Brian from the Tradesmen won a title of his own. Titleholding opens up doors and opportunities for growth. I hope his title year is as amazing as mine has been.

I traveled to the Columbia Leather Order run held at a campground called Deep River in Dewy, Georgia. I stayed in a rustic cabin with a twin bed, table, 2 chairs inside, and 2 chairs outside the tiny house. We drove or walked to the showers and mess hall and it was during October, so the place was decked out in full blown Halloween. Let me say that I have a sorta phobia of clowns and the entire mess hall was covered in them. The meals were served family style in a communal fashion. The great joy of having my hot coffee stirred by a random breast was unexpected but delightful and another great memory. The fellowship I experienced with different leather clubs was phenomenal. I listened to stories about coming out and struggling to find themselves well into the night. I reflected on my own journey of coming into the community as a male bisexual submissive. CLO throws a hell of a run and they make you feel right at home.

I attended the Leather History Preservation weekend in North Carolina. I recommend it for anyone who is interested in learning more about the roots of the leather culture. I met up with old friends and listened to the stories of people in our community. I learned more about my Sash Family. The storytellers discussed their life history and their leather journey. Stories filled with sorrow, joy and laughter that are beautiful to listen to and easy to see the similarity in all our journeys. I met Mama Vi while looking at The Carter Johnson Library. I had the unique opportunity to see our history in the making simply by being present.

My ability to visit different places and folks has made me more mindful of my own journey and grateful that others came before me to ease my way. The underlying story of rebellion and frustration speaks to my soul and influences how I treat those around me. I always seem to have just a few more minutes to talk to someone who needs me. I have experienced great loss in my vanilla world in the last 5 weeks and I am still settling into that new reality. Loss happens and it remakes us. The important things like family, love, acceptance, and joy help to buffer us when life and loss becomes overwhelming. I’m looking forward to 2019 and the wonderful things that are in store for me and my life. I am grateful for my chosen family and friends and in awe of the people who have wandered into my story.

In July, I went to the Tarheel Leather Club run where I assisted my SELF family with serving cocktails, libations, and laughter. We talked and sang songs, twerked, and even had a deepthroat contest using popsicles during the event. If you don’t know what a RUN is it is like FFA: Food, %ucking, and Alcohol, not in the same order. It was a lot of fun with a drag show and kinky games like ring around the dildo and horseshoes. There I met Poppa Doug who is one of the oldest members of TLC, we watched a video of past TLC events that was put together by a prospect for membership. He explained to me that a lot of his friends had passed away and how things are changing. I listened and understood more about his generation.

I have mingled with other families and clubs in NC and SC. It’s like a kinky family reunion where you tell a dirty joke and they all know the punchline and laugh before you get to the end. During this month, I had the privilege seeing my Ma’am being covered by the community. Let me say that it is a personal and private ceremony and if you are ever asked to attend a covering, please go. You will not forget the experience and you’ll share a special bond with each person in attendance. I have been promoting SELF throughout my local bars, communities, and dungeons. I had a community member print out palm cards and I have made a game of handing them out to people I meet while I am visiting.

In August, I held my second event (Little Leather Expo) where we offered six different classes so that my little scout troup could earn badges. We have fifty six badges to earn and this gives them the opportunity to work toward a special badge. I participated in the Charlotte Pride parade by carrying the gender equality flag. We walked in the front of the parade and rallied the people as we went. Then when we got to the end we ran back to the end of the line just in time to catch the float and ride in again. Watching Master Blue chase a fire truck was worth the trip. The amount of people in Charlotte that came out was phenomenal and uplifting. I had the privilege of attending a pool party at Tradesman Timothy Lee’s house. I had a great time and got to know the Tradesmen better. My brother, Tidbit, now knows how much of a foot whore I am: ask him, he’ll tell you. I have hosted all kinds of people coming into town for roundtables and play parties. The experience has enriched my life.

During all this running doing, I forgot what the number one rule: take care of the property. My body solved that problem and an anxiety attack sent me to the emergency room. Ma’am sat by my side all night, until the doctors cleared me to go home. Now, She’s forced me to slowed down a bit and take my meds properly. A lesson in self-care that I’m more mindful of now.

September brought a jaunt to South Carolina for the SCLC contest at SC Pride in Leather. I was thrilled to watch boy brian do his club proud and win the contest. He is now the South Carolina Leather Ambassador and is well deserving of the title. I went to Greensboro MasT meetings and little scout meetings monthly, maintaining my local connections. I enjoyed teaching a horticulture class instructing the littles on making terrariums. They got to take then home which thrilled my Ma’am. I think she was tired of a house full of empty jars. I probably should have told her why I was saving them. A lesson in communication I won’t soon forget.

In a few days, I am off to Dom Con in New Orleans, LA. It will be my first visit and I am excited to get on the train. It’s my anniversary with Ma’am and we’ve never been on a train. There have been a lot of firsts in the last couple of months.The more people I meet, the more I understand their piece of leather culture, how their stories are different and the same. I am always surprised by how easy it is to make friends when you are genuinely interested in another person’s story. I am looking forward to what the next few months of my adventure bring.

I am not sure what I am supposed to say in these columns, so I will tell you about running for SouthEast LeatherFest boy. I had never run for anything before in my life except. Well track while in school and I hated that. This was the best experiences of my life. I am terrified of public speaking so that was a hurdle that I overcame. I can spend all day “chewing the fat” but a formalized speech, well that’s different thing. I didn’t win this title alone. I was so worried about talking in front of people, my family gathered once a week for two months. I practiced my speech numerous times before we moved on to a microphone. Hearing my voice and the words helped with “appropriate mic distance” so my words come out right. Trust me, it’s a thing. I had help with everything from people wanting to listen to me talk, friends and family watching and adding observations with my fantasy, and formal wear. My talented bootblacks showed up in my living room floor conditioning and approving of all my leather. Fellowship and laughter while discussing leather culture, tradition, anxiety, and joy.

The competition was a lot of fun preparing for questions and learning who my judges were going to be. I was nervous about what I was going to be asked, but I was reassured at every turn to just be myself. For the first time since entering Ma’am's service, I was having a new adventure at SELF. Usually, my family and I help at SELF by volunteering to assist putting on this event. It was something I looked forward to all year and suddenly, I had a different role at the event.

For the first time in ten years, I was not in service but rather I had people who helped serve me and mine all weekend. Having someone help dress me and look me over to see if I was properly dressed was new and unusual. Having food and water offered before I thought to ask took more getting used to than you might imagine. Each portion of the contest tested my comfort zone, but helped me feel more confident. As it turned out, my speech was the first night and I felt like I aced a pop quiz. After my speech the rest of the competition was easier because I felt like I had done the hard part first.

When I won, I felt like I was on top of the world. I returned home with bountiful congratulations from family, inner circle, and my Tarheel Leather Club. The general kink community has been wonderful and I’ve started to get to know a lot of new people. I have had a great three weeks after with so much love and support. I look forward to the next year.

I will be at the Tarheel Leather Club Run on July 6-8. July 14 I will be at Kapu-Honu for a Littles’ Round Table with little Stevie from SC. August 4th my scout troop will be hosting a Little Leather Expo at Kapu Honu. There will be vendors, classes, and food as well as auctions. All proceeds will go for scouts activities. New people are welcome. 

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2018

June
30th: SASS @ The Mark

July

6th: Kinky Carnival - Onyx Men & Pearls Bar Night
7th-8th: Tarheel Leather Club Stars and Stripes
13th-15th: Poly Dallas Millenium LLC
28th: Whimper - Consent Discussion

August
3rd: OPSE Bar Night
31st: Master/slave Conference

September
1st-4th: Master/slave Conference
6th-8th: Sex Down South

October
TBD: Atlanta Eagle Demo - Dual Mummification

November
2nd-4th: Leather History Preservation Weekend

December
7th: OPSE Bar Night & Charity Award

2019

March
9th-11th: South Plains Leatherfest
15th-17th: Leather Leadership Conference

April
11th-13th: International Ms. Leather Contest

May
3rd-5th: Trademark 33 Leather Run - North Carolina Leather Contest

June
13-17: SouthEast LeatherFest

 

Want a Nibble or Bite? Start with a LICK: Literacy in Consent & Kink

It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks since I won the Ms. SELF 2018 Title. As I type that sentence, I get goosebumps. So many wonderful moments came unexpectedly during a fast-paced weekend. Leather boys whom I saw win their title in 2012, were in the green room giving me words of encouragement. Others, normally so tough and hard hitting, provided fatherly advice and even adjusted my gear. My femme primal growl pal not only met my entire House but gave me tips on improving my presentation. It was surreal.

I was surprised to overcome my deathly fear of sales. As I grabbed final raffle tickets from my favorite Tradesman, I realized I hadn’t let my Contestant family down after all. I managed drive by salutations from my future Sash Momma. She not only won the IMsL first edition print donated to my basket, but reminisced with me and my Sash Grandmother, about her 2014 fantasy. It was powerful. I thought I even peeped a Peep, and definitely grinned at a Feyrie! They gave me comfort despite being a deer in the headlights.

Against this backdrop, a plan formed. The goal? Producing the 1st Southeast Consent Summit. There would be four phases scheduled each quarter from 03Q18 to 01Q19. I’d already started seeking referrals to Decision Makers & Influencers in the Southeast Region. Traditional institutions would be Universities & Colleges with Greek &/or Athletic Associations &/or Human Behavior & Sexuality studies. After all, every year a new generation needed to learn the benefits of Consent, Negotiation and Safety in every arena. Next, the focus would be on Non-Profits. I wanted to recruit those working in Domestic Violence shelters and Offender Rehabilitation programs. The Summit would include everything from the tenants of giving and withdrawing Consent, to the difference between Consent Incidents and Consent Violations. Trainers could be trained to recognize the differences between consensual activity and abuse. Finally, I’d bring in Educators from our Non-Traditional Powerhouses: Leather Bars, Local Dungeons, Large & Small Club Owners, Group Organizers & new Participants. I was excited.

As the weekend ended, I had buyers remorse aka fear of failure. Would my aggressive goals become impossible objectives? Perhaps! However, I had faith. I was surrounded with a host of smart, seasoned, dedicated, loyal, fierce and fabulous group of Leather & Kinkster women, men, and gender fluid individuals. I knew their talents, resources, guidance & advice would help me achieve this dream. There were so many I already had to thank, including but not limited to: one very special Anonymous Donor, Bulldog Leather, Glenda Rider, House of Blue, Pack De La Rou, House of Nia, House of Ororo, Illuminati House of Ra, my Big Brother, Mr. Hideaway Leather 2014: J. Tebias Perry who was pivitol in the success of my fantasy by refusing to let me tango and sponsoring my photo shoot with Cecil Crump and Ricks Big Pics!! Other assistance came from Martha of Martha’s Corseting, Max Maximillian, Mr. SECC Bootblack 2018, my Big Sister - Max Rulz, The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, Onyx Men SE – Boy David, Onyx Pearls Southeast and especially my Mentor: the Legendary Mistress Mir.

Being a Contestant and receiving the Sash has made an indelible effect in my life. I’m excited about the upcoming year as I represent for Ms. SELF 2018 supported by my singularly most precious possession: The House of Trei. Alpha Boy Kae Trei; LT Nikki Trei; Ceyda Kirin-Trei; Alpha girl Jessica Trei; and, our newest girl Beta – Brianna, I couldn’t have done this with you!

Thank you, SELF! I can never repay you for my Leather life. Therefore, I will pay it forward.

It has been said that having fun makes time fly by! As my Ms. SELF 2018 title has commenced, I would say that fact is indubitably true!! My first stop was supporting the Georgia Boys of Leather (GBOL) in July. They hosted a Roundtable as a part of SouthEast Black & Blue BDSM 101 series and the discussion was educational and enlightening.

Next up was a reach into my platform topic: CONSENT. I hosted a Consent Talk at WHIMPER. The West Hot-lanta Interactive Munch & Power Exchange Reflections participants shared their experience with consent incidents and consent violations. We discussed the differences in the two circumstances and how to mitigate the impacts of each.

After WHIMPER, I was happy to have a three-on-one experience in a rope class with the famous DC hosting Atlanta Hitching Bitches. I came out of my socks to make sure the three bottoms I had “captured” in a consensual struggle play scene were restrained. I almost lost a few battles, but based on some creative knot work, I won the tug-of-war!!
.

The following month, I had an opportunity to scene at the Atlanta Eagle for Leather Pride. I didn’t see everyone, but I’m always impressed to be in the company of members of the groups that are firm supporters of the Atlanta Eagle, including: Onyx Men SE, Onyx Pearls Southeast, League of Atlanta Pups, WILA, Southern Bears, Coastal Empire Sentinels, Hotlanta Rubber, Panther Leather / Levi.

September found me in Washington DC for the Master/slave Conference. It was a spectacular weekend. I connected with past and present Sash Family, I met the new Director of the Leather Archives and Museum, supported Onyx Mid-Atlantic’s bar night at the Green Lantern.

A highlight was being in attendance at the Leather House of Color Coalition (LHOCC) sponsorship table.

As the first person of color to hold the Ms. SouthEast Leatherfest title, it is an honor to hold the Vice President LHOCC position in a female lead Leather House.

The end of September was a wonderful throwback to my SELF fantasy. I was invited to feature an all female rendition and the Queer Women in Kink (QWIK) play party. With a few adjustments and a new song, I was grateful that organizers had this to say: “A special thank you to Ms.SELF...for a great opening scene to set the tone.” - QWIK-.

Amidst the visits, I have been diligently planning the next steps for the SouthEast Consent Summit! We have over twenty volunteers. Venue space has been donated. The tentative date is 01Q19, the month is still to be determined. The top class desired is Consenting Non-Consent with a three way tie for (Lifestyle: Swinging, Poly, BDSM, and Leather Consent Differences, Teaching Consent and Negotiation, and Defining Consent Incidences and Consent Violations ). I was surprised that the SouthEast wants a two day Summit.
I’m not sure if it’s possible based on resources, but….
Hope Springs.
I’m honored to be your Ms. SELF 2018!!

If a picture was worth a thousand words, then this column will speak volumes. It’ll tell the tale of lessons learned, mid-stride reverse moves and evolutionary changes in approaches; and the importance of being the type of Title Holder that inspires others.

And, we are only in January!!

Circa October 2018. You know, I was bitten by a spider. It wasn’t radio active but as the powerful rash of hives spread throughout my body, I was overwhelmed with six medications and an holistic remedy or two.

The spider? It got away scott free.

Me? If I couldn’t beat em’....I joined em. Never had creating a Spiders Kiss scene been so fun!

Later that month, I enjoyed my trip to Chicago for the first time to visit the Leather Archives & Museum. Chi-town had a bad rep in my opinion! The people, the pizza...the Archives: It was a tough decision not to run for the IMsL/BB 2019 Title, especially after seeing the display. But the Meet the Title-Holders call said one thing clearly: BRING YOUR BEST. Whelp! I knew then that I had to table the event. My best...is yet to come…errr I’m hoping <3

Next Up!!!

I attended an awesome fundraising event focusing on Consent & fundraising for the organization. I enjoyed time with Halley Riley, Young Leaders Co-Chair for Planned Parenthood and It was an honor to meet Ken Johnston, Mr. SouthEast Olympus Leather,

1996 - Georgia. #Consent #Fundraising— attendingKink Out with Planned Parenthoodat Argosy.

AND…..here is the Title Holder Inspiration Part:

HOLDING HANDS WITH GIRL ANG at The Atlanta Eagle. So, you know I’m in love with my home bar, but having our reigning IMsL 2018 there was colossal!!! There was so much love!!

“Good morning! I hope you & yours are well & happily traveling!! First, I’m checking in to see if you can use any assistance while you’re in the ATL. Second, here is the consent definition I am using: “Consent is an informed, voluntary agreement by two or more people to engage in a particular BDSM activity. An agreement to enter into a BDSM, D/s or M/s relationship may also constitute consent to specified BDSM activities unless that consent is withdrawn at the time of engaging in such activity.”. Finally, what I think would be a great approach to the interview would educate whomever viewing / reading it on the tenants of my consent project and capture your thoughts and global perspective. I’ll send it here separately shortly. Thank you for doing this!!tance while you’re in the ATL. Second, here is the consent definition I am using: “Consent is an informed, voluntary agreement by two or more people to engage in a particular BDSM activity. An agreement to enter into a BDSM, D/s or M/s relationship may also constitute consent to specified BDSM activities unless that consent is withdrawn at the time of engaging in such activity.”. Finally, what I think would be a great approach to the interview would educate whomever viewing / reading it on the tenants of my consent project and capture your thoughts and global perspective. I’ll send it here separately shortly. Thank you for doing this!!” -CHOC-

Oh...

SHE SAID YES!!! SEGMENTS OF OUR CONSENT INTERVIEW ARE ON MY PAGE. WE TALK A LOT!!

It has been said that into everyone’s life a little rain must fall. The end of 2019 was a torrent: We lost Princess Leigha to the same health issues she battled her title year.

Tragically, Goddess Sadie, Onyx Pearl South East’s Sgt of Arms and my Big Sister was taken away from us in a D/s murder, then suicide, by her ex-submissive. The community raised $ 8600 in a few days for her funeral. Her family was very overwhelmed and thankful.

To be part of the solution, I’ve been focused on my #LICK platform: SouthEast Consent Summit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please join me: www.consentsummit.info or www.southeastconsent.org.

The dates are February 23-24, 2019. It is located at The Woodshed, Orlando. Space is Limited!

The third quarter of my Ms. SELF 2018 found the culmination of the platform promise: LITERACY IN CONSENT & KINK (LICK).

The event was a success with a great cross segment of consent related populations:

❏ Educators

❏ Students

❏ Lifestylers

❏ Professionals

❏ Non-Profits

Participants not only came from the SouthEast, the Nation and the World! The Consent DIfferences Across Lifestyles found BDSM / Swingers / Leather & Polyamorous Leaders discussing how consent manifests in their segment of counter-culture.

Since the topic of Consent could be triggering, we made sure to have the Sensu-Well Care Corner, sponsored by the House of Noir.

Plus, we had amazing organizational leaders! A special thank you to Pat Machate from the National Leather Alliance’s Domestic Violence Unit, Sar Surmick from The Consent Academy & Ruby Bouie Johnson from Dallas Poly Millennium.

The event was produced February 23-24, 2019 in Orlando Florida. A highlight? Day One at The Woodshed Orlando!! It included an opportunity to experience consent negotiations through artistry.

The naked body painting & nude eatery was a hit! Day Two on the 24th at a traditional hotel, included The Science of BDSM results on What BDSM can teach a Kinky World.

There were several Sponsors that made the event possible, including Fort Troff and Modern Tribe Counseling (MDC) that took more than a NIBBLE.

Thank you SouthEast for allowing me to serve as your Ms. SELF 2018!

This year as 2018 Ms. SouthEast LeatherFest has been...incredible — all because of you!

Local, National and International Presenters shared their knowledge, views, and best practices on a variety of consent related topics:

* Consensual Non-Consenting Relationships
* Lifestyle (Swinging, Poly, BDSM, and Leather) Consent Differences
* Teaching Consent and Negotiation
* Defining Consent Incidences and Consent Violations
* Ethnic and Cultural Understanding: Global Views of Consent
* Domestic Violence —Understanding Consent and Lack of Consent Implications
* Finding Lifestyle Friendly Professionals
* Creating Consent Policies for Individuals, Groups, Clubs, and Organizations
* Law / Legalities / Legal Issues: Family Law, Outing and Morality Clause Impacts
* Activism and Organizing (Grassroots Political Efforts)

A wonderful vendor: Martha Corset Shoppe and the deliciousness of the Atlanta Tantric Institute collaborated with sexy demo bottoms and Tops for Consent After Dark. The creation of a naked eatery and nude body painting experience allowed participants to receive hands-on (and a few mouthfuls of) practice at consent negotiations.

I have enjoyed representing SELF far and wide, and being able to meet my Sash Family (shout out to my Sash Mom - Ms. SELF 2017, Tig Natious) at conferences such as, MsC, LLC, SPLF & IMsL. My favorite run was at Tarheels and not because I able to use gold fabric and a leather corset to make a toga outfit — which really served well for inspiring sex & scene in the car during the road trip. Locally, I hung out with Panthers L/L at what will be their last Slave Auction as they close clubs doors in 2019. They will be sorely missed as one of the main staples of the Atlanta Eagle.I personally would like to thank them for their years of dedication to the Atlanta leather scene & community.

As Ms SELF 2018, I have to say that the SouthEast Group & Club Leaders & Owners have HELD ME DOWN! QWIK, TARP, BAM, WHIMPER, 1763 and of course, my ONYX & ONYX Pearl members —you all have my gratitude and appreciation.Most important lesson learned this year:

Life may be fleeting and it is definitely finite. So love your loved ones... hard and be as all-in, hardcore & authentic as you possibly can while not losing sight of the importance of Faith, Family & Friends.

I lost my Onyx Pearls SouthEast (OPSE) Big Sister and POC Female Dominant confidante, Goddess Sadie Hawkins the day after my birthday. The shock and despair was intense and still comes unexpectedly swiftly. Grief is odd and a reminder that life is to be lived all-in and enjoyed thoroughly.
Carpe diem is the biggest tribute that I can pay to my slain Soror. May she rest in Power & Peace.

In the middle of it all, I continue to be inspired to maintain our successful platform of Literacy In Consent & Kink (LICK). Special thanks to those helping me make this a wonderful year:

Mistress Mir, Kae Trei, Nicole Noir, Ceyda Krin-Tri, Jessica Noir, Brianne Trei, Elyse Noir, Daddy Byrd, Marla Stewart, J Tebias Perry, Master Cecil, Cody L., Tonya Keith, Grace, Angel Noir, Nickie Fuentes, Deborah (Sweet N Sour), Ben Schenker, Richard & Judy Cunningham, Ruby B. Johnson, Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, Dr. Sebastian Grey, Sar Sumick, Sacara/Marguerite Mansfield, Amina Peterson and Jennifer Erickson.

The Atlanta Eagle, Barking Leather, Modern Tribe Counseling, a Kink Aware Professional Group! Hard Pink Sisterhood, Mita Bear Designs, Khaos, Sensuwell, Leather Works, Ms. Martha’s Corsets, Pervology.com, M4u, J. Tebias Perry Photography, Fort Troff, SouthEast LeatherFest, 1st Capital Finance, Atlanta Institute Of Tantra and the Science Of BDSM. Leather Houses of Color Founders: House Of Blue, House Of Trei, La Maison DeRou, House Of Nia. ONYX Family: Founders, Original Pearls, ONYX Men, ONYX Pearls Worldwide & especially my thick & thin, ride or die Sorors at ONYX Pearls South East!!

You are all THE sexiest, fiercest, most accepting and eclectic group of kinky/BDSM/Leather renegade counter-culture participants ever. I truly adore you.

What’s next?

Let’s rock

C..

 

It is an honor to retain the Ms. SELF 2019 title for our 25th anniversary year! I am grateful that my Literacy In Consent & Kink platform will continue to have the opportunity to positively impact the Southeast.

First stop? Hanging out in my home bar at the Atlanta Eagle! Onyx Men and Pearls SouthEast combined for Kinky Carnival.

My part? Critter patrol! I taught Rope 101 to a few newcomers and had the opportunity to wrangle pig and kitty alike. Chants of go piggy go rang through-out the scene.

Next up! Getting my #LICK on Route 66!

I had the honor of being the Keynote Speaker at the OKC Kink Weekend and Route 66 Leather Contest. It was held on July 18-21, 2019 in Oklahoma City.

I loved the fact I was ushering in the first Inaugural Ms. Route 66!! The other new title was Route 66 Bear. With the Mr., Pup and Bootblack contestants. It was a great weekend filled with outstanding & committed Kink & Leather lifestylers.

As a Versatile, I taught a class on topping & bottoming in one scene, leveraging the group I founded in 2015: SASS. At the end, two participants joined in. We negotiated & score! They were hands-on switching by the end of the class.

My OKC highlight? The standing ovation I received for my speech:

Another Open Letter To Leather: You Don’t Need Me. I Don’t Need You. We Need Each Other.

It was long. Event organizers asked me to speak for 40 minutes. It was my honor to fulfill the promise. Plus, you know even though I was nervous, had the heaves & almost quit a few hours right before the Keynote...I love to talk!

My mantra:

If one person is helped it was a great speech.

That positive affirmation got me to the stage.

Therefore, I personally want to thank those that have been coming forward to say it moved them. I had joy from a few people saying they laughed out loud! My heart was also touched: several also wept.

I cried with them. Choc—a-dile tears! :)

I hope I made you proud SouthEast.

It continues to be my honor to be your Ms. SELF 2018 & 2019.

Greetings Oklahoma KINK Weekend Producers, Judges & Participants, it is an honor to be here with you today.

I want to publicly thank Angel for taking a chance on me, working her ass off to diversify her community and actually live her Leather Values.

I want to thank you as a community for the support that you’ve given her and all Organizers towards that endeavor.

I want to thank those Elders in the community that stayed through the transition because I know there were those that got fed up with the infiltration of this brand new Leather culture and walked away.

I hope they will see the wisdom of your choice, the birth of a continually vibrant Route 66 community and come back.

I want to thank that bad assed boy in his 7th year and my girl of one year. She’s a handful but worth it.

I wanted to issue each of you my personal invitation to one of my loves, the SouthEast Leatherfest conference from June 13-15, 2020 in my hometown, Atlanta Georgia, where you will be embraced for being your most authentic kinky/Leather/BDSM based SELF.

And finally I want to say congratulations to the newest Route 66 Leather Title Family! I know you’ll have a tremendous year ahead of you.

Please let me know if I can be of service in any way.

So, I originally had an easy topic outlined:

The History of Leather

I was going to make it factual & relevant since I heard some heavy hitting Living Legends, like Hardy... Elizabeth...were here and our current IML Jack and his Daddy who I didn’t know would make history last night by giving new meaning to the term “gone in less than 60 seconds”.

So to learn about Leather History, I used a very reliable source:

The Internet.

And found some great vetted & peer reviewed reference material:

WIKIPEDIA.

Here’s what it said.

Leather History.

(clears Throat )

In Mesopotamia between the fifth and the third millennium B.C. ,the Sumerians used leather skins for long dresses.

The Assyrians used leather for footwear.

The ancient Indian civilization first processed the type of leather known as the "Morocco" today.

More shoes (you know these were gay men...right)

The Romans used leather both for footwear and clothing and for making shields and harnesses.

I can see the Roman queer community now...

Hey Perseus!

Let’s not call them strapons...let’s just call them Leather harnesses!

The Egyptians also achieved considerable skill in processing leather, which they used for clothing (even for gloves), tools & (oh) arms.
So there you have it...

People of all Nations wearing, doing, living & lovng Leather for centuries.

Leather shoes...

Leather gloves...

Leather arm bands.

Leathers strap-ons ...oh....I mean “harnesses”...

And in Egypt...I know there had to be:

A Leather Women of Color.

Leather?

You’ve been here before.

This Is Another Open Letter:

Dear Leather,

You don’t need me.

I understand.

Your current iteration was born of a North American time where rugged fetishism forged a cool counter-culture out of a material that had been around for centuries.

It combined with Kinky Liberation and a hardcore Sexual nature.

Leather you were the spark within the hearts of humankind that had been blossoming for ever.

You were distinguished by independent spirit.

And...if you wanted to keep it a secret...

You played yourself because you were too hot, too powerful to be ignored.

Imagination and fantasy collided with the realities of lifestyle and masses followed suit to the tune of 50 Shades.

LEATHER...you didn’t need me.

You were not quelled by threats, intimidation or even violence.

You didn’t need me even if what you did in your back rooms, bars, Clubs and bathrooms was actually illegal.

You were unafraid of the State by State Assault Laws systematically condemning your radical Leather behavior.

Laws we’ve heard before like the Alabama Anti-Obscenity Enforcement Act that banned “Dildos or any object caused for “the stimulation of human genital organs”.

I mean - you didn’t care.

You stuffed silicon up your orifices...and jail - be damned.

Leather, you didn’t need me to support your defiance.

In spite of fines of “up to $20,000, a one-year jail sentence or 12-months doing hard labor”.

12 months hard labor?

To keep your dildo?

Worth it.

You didn’t need me to fight your collective battles against Oklahoma Statute Title 21 whereby:

Every person who willfully and wrongfully commits any act which grossly disturbs the public peace or which openly outrages public decency, including but not limited to urination in a public place, and is injurious to public morals, is guilty of a: misdemeanor.

A misdemeanor?

Leather you said:

FUCK that misdemeanor!

You flagged yellow, ...a lot of yellow...lol...and orange and black and red & regardless of which back pocket your stuffed your illicit invitation, Leather, if loving wild eroticism and exchanging power was wrong...

You didn’t want to be right.

You didn’t need to be right.

You are perfectly comfortable with living to the Left...while flagging on the left...in the middle & on the Right.

No, Leather you don’t need me.

I get it.

Your turbulent upbringing matured you into being an over privileged sexual outlaw.

Facing down the judgment of prejudice & even family of origin bonds, Leather you and your kinky practices became the new ties that bound.

Piss, spit, cum and blood did run thicker than water after all.

Leather you didn’t need me because you were hodgepodge of De Sade, decadence, booze & biker clubs, you crept into the hearts of people internationally, planted taboo desires.

You opened up bars, and published a prolific plethora of hot sexy pictorials.

But Leather, from my perspective, you never knew you were sitting in the middle of the lap of luxury.

You had the privilege of being persecuted for your baseline Sexual and Fetish activity versus your baseline demographic.

The tragedies that you witnessed were from those that could neither stand the heat nor get out of the kitchen.

But at least you were able to get into the fucking door.

Leather, you came out of the closet - fully geared with what one Guardian writer described as:

(I’ll use an accent here because I like accents)

“An entry-level leather fetish might just look like getting your rocks off in a well-cut bomber. But for the more committed, it’s a full look: boots, trousers or chaps, belts, shirts, jackets, overcoats, captain hats, all in premium, black leather. The sex tends towards BDSM, from rough horseplay to sadomasochism.”

Let’s do that again:

....for the more committed, it’s a full look: boots, trousers or chaps, belts, shirts, jackets, overcoats, captain hats, all in premium, black leather.

Sounds like Mesopotamia, doesn’t it?

Leather, you didn’t need me because you focused on looks and to “be Leather” you ignored those that couldn’t absorb your prettiness and it’s costs:

Vest: $150

Boots: $250

Jackets: $350

Overcoat: $450

Cap or Hat: $550

Trousers: $650

But the joy of being a well shod & respected Leatherman?

Priceless.

So you didn’t me.

You, who emerged beautiful as the premiere knowledge base for the heat of hardcore expressions of Power and Dominance & Noble Depravity & Surrendered spirits.

But again....

You played yourself Leather

‘Cause when Patrick penned the compilation Doing It For Daddy, Leather, your hotness accidentally spawned:

A me.

And Leather, I didn’t need you.

I was never really supposed to be in your mix:

Too Weird.

Too Queer.

Too Femme.

Too Poor

Too Colored.

Too Thick.

I didn’t wear enough Black.

You know, hundreds of dollars of Black, High Quality...

Black Leather.

I don’t even have a vest for my Ms SELF patch.

I wasn’t welcomed in your bars and as I wandered around this Leather world, I was shocked & hurt & appalled to discover it filled with the same sexist, racist, classist bull shit I faced “out there”.

Damn Leather.

I confessed myself:

Disappointed.

And, I wondered how could something so wonderful delicious...such dirty debauchery lead to such squeaky clean elitism.

So Closed minded.

So Judgmental.

So Vicious.

So Cliquish with Pedigreed Leather Royalty.

So Insulting.

I understand.

You’re right.

You didn’t need me.

But what you didn’t understand?

Leather, I really didn’t need you.

I was born of a time me when it was ass, grass or cash:

No one was riding for free.

A 2nd generation Chocolate Flower Child, I was forged in a fire of California runaway wanna-be-gangbanger who left home at 12 with a hankering for Street Drugs, Alcohol and Sexual Sadism.

And when an Officer chained me to the chair in Juve Hall & said to me:

You’ll never live to be 18.

I only began to eye the hotness of his uniform and...

His handcuff key.

The key to freedom.

That key was Power.

And in that moment of social captivity, the heart of a Leather Woman was born.

I was unafraid of the State by State Assault Laws systematically condemning my radical Leather behavior.

I said Fuck the New York state law to that said you needed to be law-enforcement officer, private investigator or a security guard to carry a handcuff key.

Fuck the penalty of a fine of up to $200 and/or 10 days in jail.

I didn’t need you Leather to be that person that according to Oklahoma Statutes Title 21. Crimes and Punishments §21-641 was excited by: “willful ...offer with force or violence to do a corporal hurt to another”.

And, Leather, I didn’t need you to understand that although the law said:

"strangulation" means any form of asphyxia; to the neck or the closure of the nostrils or mouth as a result of external pressure on the head was illegal....

I wanted to do that shit anyway.

I didn’t need you to have the hottest forced sex ever.

I actually didn’t need you Leather...
...To meet him and her and them and Ze, and Zer and...they loved the way I made them lose their breath CONSENSUALLY and consensually-non-consensually.

I didn’t need you Leather.

To be a Leather Woman of Color, a mad scientist, and learn a dance with Power, pain & pleasure that took my own breath away.

My turbulent upbringing matured into my being a under privileged sexual outlaw.

I never knew I had the luxury of the generations of POC Leather warriors from Egypt to today...wearing harnesses, advertising in magazines to make a living, building Libraries to make a difference, forging a way out of no way to charter ONYXPearls and generally hold a space for me in the underground world BIPOC Leather.

I didn’t need you because my mix of queer skated around your easy definitions and I was going to be the first Woman of Color to hold my title in the twenty-five years or be POC & Female representation on Boards like LA&M and LLC anyway.

And I didn’t need you Leather because it didn’t matter if I was butch or pedigreed or respected enough:

I am Queer Leather Dominant of Color and I was going to make a House a home to the homeless, and mentor and train a new generation of Leather Women of Color.

And, in the middle of it I prayed for the day when your Leather would not be judged by color of your skin and what lay between your legs or how much Leather you could afford to wear but by the content of your character and the willingness to serve and the burning desires of your heart.

But as I grew Leather, I learned one thing:

We needed each other.

We had a shared hankering for walking in the very edge of taboo & edge play.

We needed each other Leather.

We needed to expand & evolve our sexy, kinky mix and add different brands of Leather to the tune of the fiercest band of next generation Leather people & Houses & Packs & Pearls internationally that the world has ever seen.

Yes...Leather & Kink we melded with...

- unabashed Weirdness.

- undiluted Queerness.

- bold lipsticked Femmeness.

All Nations.

All Genders.

All sexualities
All body types.

And we can trade, gift and earn Black...

High Quality...

Leather.

And we must learn we need each other because...

Do we need a PULSE shooting in every generation for the benefit of those who have no imagination?

And we need each other because when the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom wrote:

“large percentages of respondents (that) viewed the general society as hostile to BDSM”, it is because:

SOCIETY IS HOSTILE TO LEATHER...KINK & BDSM AND THAT IS WHERE WE MUST FOCUS.

You don’t need me.

And I don’t need you...

But we definitely need...each other!

You & I are that “significant group that seems to like the rebel or outlaw status of the BDSM practitioner”.

We need to recognize that because of this...we are all being HUNTED together.

We need each other because in this and most conservative administrations criminality issues will rise, we will become the statistics written about by the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom when they said:

“Significant percentages know of BDSM prosecutions in their community ; and personally feared prosecution (and) were concerned that no community resources are available to help them in the event of arrest or prosecution (62%).”

We need each other to focus on unity & education about the law on BDSM and consent, and overcome the 59% of BDSM/Leather/Kinky Practitioners stating they are not aware of the assault law in their area.

We need each other because:

We are older now.

Wiser.

We have to educate our kindreds, prior predators and obnoxious newcomers alike to reduce:

30.1% of us that have a pre-negotiated limit violated.

We have to help the 1 in 3 kinky/leather people that have experienced a consent violation understand the changing faces of consent from spontaneously changing organic to rigidly negotiated & adhered to play styles because consent has changed for this generation.

We need each other...to do better by every new generation of Leather person.

It is our responsibility to help ignite and excite our successors to have a life dedicated to Leather.

We need each other because Leather is dying and we know it.

Our Living Legends will become our Leather Angels.

A writer at the Guardian said:

“...long ago, many clubs catered to enthusiastic leathermen. But predatory property developers, changing attitudes to gender and the rise of rubber threaten the scene’s existence”

The jackets, chaps, boots, harnesses, caps and covers are growing mold and drying out like the closures of our Clubs, bars, organizations and Leather as THE premiere institution.

We need each other so that Leather maintains its power and relevance and especially doesn’t lose what made us: sheer unadulterated irreverence.

We need each other because a new cultural cannon must evolve and we must avoid self implosion in our waves of Internet Wars and Social Media crucification.

We need each other so we can be like the Living Legend I’m honored to call my Mentor, Mistress MIR, with forty years of longevity, who has done more to build relationships and donate her life to her non-profits and maintaining of deep and endearing relationships than anyone I have ever known.

Like when she calls her own best friend she talks to almost daily and they met:

30 years ago.

Leather, we would all be just so blessed to be here in 2049 and say...

In 2019, I saw the first inaugural Route 66 Ms and Bear and damn that OKC Title Family changed the world.

Yes.

This is it.

This is Leather.

Leather we need each other to continue to reject those within us with a double standard that belies our Free Spirit.

We need each other to remain free to:
* OBJECTIFY
* GIVE & TAKE IN HELPLESS DEPTHS OF SEXUAL EXPLOITATION
* HUMILIATE
* SERVE & BE SERVED
& MY PERSONAL FAVORITES:

- CONTROL

- DISCIPLINE

- DOMINATE

And we need to kill the mediocrity arising from being a sub-population of a marginalized segment, of a counter-culture.

And WE NEED LEATHER.

Because contrary to public opinion, Allies are critical to freedom when you have no vote and no resources other than the body you are more than willing to throw into the firing line.

Because contrary to public opinion the depths of our brutality is matched by the heights of our humanitarian efforts.

Because contrary to public opinion every aspect of our Leather culture needs representation and to train and groom our next Generation(s).

Because we need the Yings to our Yang like when we fist an ass or pussy and the muscles sang under our hand and the slaves service surrendered under our will and body shuddered under our soul as We partook of their life and forged the slave they secretly hated that they always wanted to be.

I needed you so I can pass on what was given to me in Pearls of Wisdom, so I can cross collateralize my hyper Femininity into Uber masculinity in one fantasy scene and win Ms. SouthEast Leatherfest for holding the place for cause yes, my loyalty and obligations and my will - will not be compromised.

And I learned that as President of the Leather Houses of Color Coalition that iron sharpens iron and I’m honored to network with the most bad group of POC Heads of Households ever.

And I learned to use strategy like creating a model to relaunch of the first ONYX PEARLS SOUTHEAST Chapter in 2014, that it would be the model & spawn a nationwide uprising of the most bad azz Women of Color Sorors & Siblings known to Leatherkind.

I learned we NEED each other.

As we fight internally, we miss the point:

There are those externally in this society who want to KILL US OUTRIGHT.

We need each other and it’s just a matter of losing that one consent battle where our bodies will never be our own.

Where the knock on the door is facial recognition, and web cam monitoring.

Where we need to recognize that whether we are Female, Queer or Male or Unlabeled - it doesn’t matter if Sexuality is Mainstream or Non-Binary , Personal practices are being censored and judged and lives are being destroyed with outing and losing jobs.

We need each other because simply:
WE ARE ALL LEATHER.

So it’s true.

I don’t need you.

You don’t need me.

But I love you & I hope one day you’ll embrace me.

So, I’m writing you this letter.

An open love letter...to Leather.

Thank you.

 

 

 

 

 Email   Ms SELF Facebook   Ms SELF Fetlife   

Calendar of Events 2019 to 2020

7/19 - 7/21 Tarheel Leather Run

8/3 The Red Chair presents To Newbie with Love with Writergirl

9/20 - 9/22 Bootblack Roundup Chicago, IL

10/4 Pup and Leather Night @ Our Place. Birmingham, AL

10/11 - 10/13 CABLE Retreat Troy, Al

11/2 Red Dragons Bogalusa, LA

12/6 Pup and Leather Night @ Our Place. Birmingham, AL

2020

1/3 Pup and Leather Night @ Our Place. Birmingham, AL

1/25 Erotic Bootblacking with Mycalyne @ Whimper, Atlanta, GA

2/7 - 2/9 Southern Sole Atlanta, GA

2/21 Erotic Bootblacking with Mycalyne @ FLAIR, Atlanta, GA

3/7 Pup and Leather Night @ Our Place. Birmingham, AL

3/13 - 3/15 Mx Virginia @ Fallout, Richmond, VA

3/20 LLC Atlanta, GA

4/3 Pup and Leather Night @ Our Place. Birmingham, AL

4/11 Leather Night @ Iniquities Fetish Boutique, Birmingham, AL

4/16 - 4/19 Competing for International Ms Bootblack @ IMsLBB Weekend, San Jose, CA

4/30 - 5/3 Frolicon Atlanta, GA

6/5 Pup and Leather Night @ Our Place. Birmingham, AL

6/12 - 6/14 SELF 25!!!!

 

The Face of Depression

Hi, my name is Mycalyne and I suffer with Chronic Major Depression.

Looking back on my childhood, I truly believe my depression began after multiple episodes of sexual abuse by a male cousin. I attempted to tell a female cousin to whom I was close, but when she didn’t believe me, I did not try to tell anyone else. Being that I was a child and it being in the 70’s, my symptoms went unnoticed.

I did not seek treatment until in my mid-twenties I was triggered by my nephew being accused of sexually abusing one of his cousins. I was placed on anti-depressants and went to counseling. It was during this time that I came face to face with the stigma of mental illness. The person to whom I was married at the time scoffed at me receiving treatment and would often call me weak-minded. My own parents would change the subject if I brought it up. I was made to feel that my thoughts and feelings were not valid. Despite this, I persevered and continued on with my treatment. Within a few months, I finally began to feel better than I had in years. I wish I could say that this was the end of my depression, but as with a lot of people, after a couple of years of feeling better, I thought I could handle everything on my own and stopped taking my medication. I thought at least this would make my home life easier. I couldn’t have been more wrong. It wasn’t long until my symptoms began to slowly return. Seizing the opportunity, my husband’s belittling and gaslighting doubled. My depression spiraled out of control. I didn’t want to talk with anyone. I didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything. All I wanted to do was sleep. I began having suicidal thoughts. The ONLY thing that kept me breathing was my two young sons. Eventually, I began wondering if I shouldn’t just go ahead and go through with it because how could I possibly be good for them. It was at this time when my now Owner and husband came strolling back into my life. He showed me that I truly was worthy of love and happiness and that life could be worth living. He actually encouraged me to start treatment again. Within a short time, my kids and I were living on our own and I was going through a divorce. It was a long hard 2 years, but at the end I was happy and doing well. Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t smooth sailing because I still had to contend with my kids father and the mind games he played with my kids and tried to continue playing with me. With my new found strength and mental wellbeing, we marched on.

Fast forward several years to a time in my life that I briefly discussed in my speech during my title run. My kids were grown and living out the plans for their futures. My Owner and I were adjusting to an empty nest. I had been successfully off of medication for nearly a year when I was involved in a car accident just 3 weeks after my youngest had gone off to bootcamp. In the aftermath of the accident, I had to deal with a significant injury to my leg that was not healing properly which caused severe pain, the accident being deemed my fault when it should not have been, the threat of being sued by the driver who was at fault, the loss of being able to serve my Owner due to my injury and trying to put on a happy face and keep the accident and subsequent events from my son in order to prevent more stress on him while he was working to become a Marine. My symptoms of depression spiraled out of control. Thankfully, my Owner recognized what was happening and quickly got me back on my meds. Even though the meds began to work, I still had absolutely no drive or interest in doing anything. Everything was a struggle. While I did not begin to have suicidal thoughts again, not waking up the next day would have been ok too. It was then that I picked up my bootblack kit and felt that spark of purpose. As I said in my speech, as I cleaned and polished each piece of leather I worked on, it was if I were cleaning and polishing away the depression.

I can proudly report that today, I am doing well and am still on meds. I won’t say that it is easy because some days it is hard as hell. When things become overwhelming, I talk with my Owner, close friends or family. There are times that even that is too much. When this happens, I withdraw to my craft room, turn on some music to drown out my thoughts and play with my alcohol inks, watercolors, cricut, or some other crafting project. There have been times that I just need to cry it out. I’ve done this in the shower as well as asking my Owner for good cathartic scene to get the tears flowing. I know of many people that go for a run or do some other type of exercise to increase endorphins in their system to help increase their mood. Other people journal to get their thoughts out of their head and onto paper so they can process through them.

My purpose for telling all of you this is not to get sympathy. It is to draw attention to the fact that despite the thoughts and beliefs of some people, depression is real. It causes heartbreak and can take lives. It happens to people of all walks of life and knows no socioeconomic barriers. I also want to draw attention to the fact that it is very much treatable and survivable. If you find yourself in the depths of depression, keep fighting to find the way out. Reach out to friends and family that you feel you can trust. Seek out treatment. If you’re feeling suicidal and don’t feel you have anyone to whom you can talk, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255. The road can be long and filled with potholes that are difficult to escape, but it is navigable. YOU CAN DO IT.

My name is Mycalyne and I am the face of depression.

 

Hello, everyone!

Usually around Thanksgiving is when you see people posting about all the people and things for which they are thankful. I’m going to shift that paradigm a little. I want to be thankful every day for all the amazing people, places, and things that are and have been a part of my life. I consider myself a very blessed person so this may not be a short read. Just FYI, after the first 3, my list is in no particular order.

1. My owner and love of my life - SirThomas205 has been a part of my life since I was 17 years old. We were absent from each for several years, but when He walked back into my life, I knew it was going to be forever. He is more than just my owner. He is my touchstone, my safe harbor, and my biggest cheerleader. I couldn’t have asked for a better bonus father and example of what to strive to be as an adult. I can’t imagine my life without him.
2. My higher power and creator - I am a Christian. I believe that everyone has the right to believe, pray to, or worship whomever or whatever they choose. Just because my favorite color is purple does not mean yours has to be. The world would be an awfully boring place if we all looked, dressed, talked, and thought the same way. I value diversity in the world. I feel that we all have a lot we can learn from each other.
3. My biological and chosen families - Like a good many people in the lifestyle, my bio family is mixed with people who have no idea about the double life I lead and others who know all about it. Some of them would be supportive. Some of them not so much. In either case, I love them and am thankful for who they are (good or bad) because they helped shape me into the person I am today. My chosen family is made up of a very diverse group of people. They love and support me even when I’m not feeling worthy. They are my exemplars of who I want to be when I grow up.
4. The Red Chair - I proudly tell every kinky person I meet about my awesome kinky home where I have been nurtured and allowed to grow. I am happy to be a part of a club that allows me to nurture others in return.
5. CABLE (Central Alabama Birmingham Leather Enthusiasts) - From the ashes of the former Leather community in Birmingham, CABLE is rising like a phoenix. It is our goal to rekindle, revive, and renew our local Leather community. I am honored to serve as CABLE’s first treasurer.
6. My community (both local and scattered across the globe) - I am thankful for each and every one of you who consider yourselves a part of the Leather or Kinky community. All of you help provide and hold space for every other person who considers themselves a part of this community. Without all of you, I wouldn’t have a place where I could be myself and meet the people I consider to be my chosen family. You guys are amazing!!!
7. SELF (Southeast Leatherfest) and Lady Catherine - I am so honored to be a part of this family. Lady Catherine has been very supportive of our sash family from the moment we met her. She makes sure that we stop and take care of ourselves as people. She listens to our ideas and works with us to make those ideas into reality. Without SELF and Lady Catherine, I wouldn’t have the platform I do to reach out to others about bootblacking. Without the hard work and commitment by the volunteers, SELF would not be the kickass event that is. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
8. My sponsors - My sponsors for my SELF title and now my run for International Ms Bootblack have been so generous with their donations. You have helped take on some of the financial aspects of being a titleholder. I am forever grateful. In an effort to repay them in a small way, I’d like to mention them here.
     a. CABLE - Come join us for a drink or two at Brennan’s Irish Pub. Join our Facebook page to find out when we’ll be there.
     b. Fantasies in Leather (www.etsy.com/fantasiesinleather) creates custom erotic and enticing leather toys, gear, and garments. In their Etsy shop, you’ll find beautiful tooled and hand painted leather covered flasks, masks, bowties, pocket flags, leather fans, collars, cuffs and so much more. They also have products and accessories to help care for all of your lovely leather goods.
     c. Iniquities Fetish Boutique (www.iniquitiesbham.com) is Birmingham’s only fetish boutique. They have a wide variety of sex and BDSM toys, sexy lingerie and clothing, accessories, candles, CBD products, incense, and other specialty items. You can also take individual pole dancing classes or get a tattoo in Mambo Baptiste’s tattoo studio in the back of the shop!
     d. Servant’s Retreat (www.bdsmclasses.com/index.php/sr1) focuses on using tools to be a whole person and bringing the power of everything you are into your service. The weekend seminar has dates open in several cities throughout the US.
     e. The Red Chair (www.theredchair.org) is Birmingham’s only BDSM club. We like to think of ourselves as a kinky community center. We are all about education, supporting our members and community, and having lots of fun!
     f. Unique Kink (www.uniquekink.com) makes a variety of gorgeous floggers, dragontails, scorpions, and other leather toys made from bull, deer, and bison hides in a rainbow of colors. What makes them unique is that the toys themselves are “heads” for the detachable handle.
     g. A host of individual contributors also donated to my silent auction baskets. Words can’t express how humbled I am by your generosity. Thank you so much for believing in me and wanting to be a part of my journey!

I am also thankful for the common everyday things. These are things that some people take for granted. Things like:

1. My job - Without it, I would not be able to help put a roof over my family’s heads, food in our bellies, or travel and do the fun things we get to do.
2. My home - A lot of people must live with family or friends or may not even have a home.
3. My health - While I do have some issues, it is nothing compared to the issues others must deal with every single day.

The list could go on. The point is to stop and be thankful each and every day for the blessings and miracles in our lives. There is so much sadness in the world that we have to remind ourselves how lucky we are.

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
~Albus Dumbledore~

In service,
mycalyne

 

Don’t Overthink...Just Do It.

Thinking about running for a Leather title, but those butterflies or knots in your stomach keep getting bigger and bigger? Then you find out who your running mates are and you think to yourself, “What am I doing?!?!” Trust me. You are NOT alone. No matter how confident one is, there is always at least a tad bit of fear, trepidation, or self-doubt. Don’t let it stop you! As the current International Ms. Bootblack, Gretchen Wellman, asked me, “Would it be better to go ahead and do it or always wonder what if you had?”

You may be saying, “Sure, mycalyne, that’s all great and wonderful, but you’ve already won a title.” Let me tell you, I have been sitting right where you are now. As a matter of fact, I still ask myself that question whenever I am faced with a new challenge. In case you are thinking about running for a title, let me tell you the things I did to prepare and things I learned I should have done or should have done more.

1. Do your research on the title itself. Does the title you’re considering fit you, your lifestyle, your goals, your values? Are the title responsibilities something that you will be able to fulfill? Are you willing to put in the time and effort to represent your title, sponsors, producers, and title family the way they should be represented? Do you have the time and financial resources to travel to events and speaking engagements?

2. RESEARCH YOUR JUDGES. Find out (and remember) things that are important to them, groups in which they may be involved, pet projects, etc. TRUST ME, this WILL come up during your interview with them.

3. Do your research on Leather history. Yes, I know this is a very broad topic, but if you don’t know at least some history, how can you carry on the legacy of the ones who paved the way for us today and how are you going to be able to add to that legacy? The best place to start is learning the history of the contest in which you will be participating. Knowing its history can point you in the right direction of where you need to go.

4. Write and learn your speech. Make sure it lets the judges know who you are. I can’t say this enough, practice, practice, practice. Practice when you’re alone. Practice in front of a mirror. Practice in front of others. Just remember, don’t let it become so rehearsed that it no longer seems genuine. Time yourself to make sure you stay as close to your time limit as possible. You will get points deducted if it is too short or you go over the time limit.

5. Write your fantasy early. Allow your personality and who you are to shine through. Discuss your ideas with others. Listen to their suggestions. Choose music that gets your audience involved in your fantasy. If your fantasy will include others, keep the number to a minimum and make sure you choose people who are reliable and whose schedule is flexible so you don’t have to scramble at the last minute to find replacements. Practice with props and costumes that you will be using to make sure you know how the prop/costume will do what you need them to do during your fantasy. Practice until everyone is comfortable and knows what their part.

6. Have a handler. This will be someone who will help you keep track of time and get you where you need to go when you need to be there. Make a schedule and map out where you need to be. If possible, they need to actually go to each place so they know for sure how to get to each place and find any shortcuts. They will also need to carry a backpack with things you may need such as water, snacks, a sewing kit (wardrobe malfunctions happen), pain relievers for headaches, antacids if you’re prone to heartburn, some sort of mints to keep your breath fresh, and anything else you think you might need. Go over every detail with them so that they can anticipate when you might need something and when to have meals ready for you. You will be relying on them a great deal so make sure you choose someone who is reliable and can be forceful when needed.

7. Make a list of everything you will need and check them off as you pack them. If you are running for a title that includes a skill such as bootblacking,triple check all of your needed supplies. Don’t forget even the smallest item. Make sure you have a SHARPIE. I say this because you will only be allowed the supplies you bring.

8. Make a spreadsheet of what clothing you will be wearing and when. It is also a good idea to group those things together and label them with when you will need them. Remember, you may not have much time to change so make your changes as simple and easy as possible.

9. Practice your skill. This kind of goes without saying, but for the technical portion of the judging, you will be limited to a specific time. This is your time to shine (for you bootblacks, see what I did there...lol) so show up and show out! Do as much as you possibly can within your time limit.

10. Make your auction items or baskets unique. Include an interesting story about the item if there is one. Display them in an attractive manner. Also remember that it’s better to have several smaller baskets than one big basket. This money is for the titleholder’s travel fund. Every dollar helps!

11. If you are given raffle tickets to sell, ask EVERYONE even event staff and volunteers. The worst they can do is say no. Most likely the money raised is for the titleholder’s travel fund. Again every dollar helps!

12. BE EARLY to your events. Judges do not like to be kept waiting and appreciate it when you’re ready when they are.

13. During your interview(s), show who you are. Try to relax. Take the first move to shake their hand when introduced. The judges are people just like you are. They want to see you succeed and they are genuinely interested in you.

14. BREATHE AND HAVE FUN!!! Get out there and talk to people. You will be meeting others that you might not otherwise have the opportunity.

15. Most importantly, when it’s all said and done whether you win or not, THANK THE PEOPLE WHO HELPED YOU, THE JUDGES, THE SPONSORS, THE PRODUCER, AND ABSOLUTELY NOT LEAST...THE EVENT VOLUNTEERS! Without all of them, there would be no event and no title for which to run.

This by no means is an all inclusive list. It’s just some things that I have learned along the way and will be keeping in mind for myself as I move forward to other challenges in my life.

Running and being honored with the title of Southeast Bootblack has been an amazing adventure. Leading up to SELF 2019, there were times when I felt like an imposter, thought I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t talented enough, wasn’t smart enough, well, just wasn’t enough period. I am here to tell you that you are! Believe in yourself. Practice. Study. Prepare. You can achieve anything. So what do you say? Are you in?

 

Connections
9/28/19
Traveling during my title year has afforded me the luxury of making new connections with
people that I otherwise would most likely have never made. While thinking about all of these connections, my mind drifted to different types of connections. There are those that last only moments between 2 strangers as one holds the door open for the other or nods to one another in traffic. There are those that last for a couple of hours while 2 strangers are sitting next to each in a waiting room and they strike up a conversation. Then there are connections that become deeper and more meaningful. Those that blossom into friendships, romantic love, or D/s or M/s relationships.
The one I’d like to talk with you about today is the connection between bootblack and client. Here again, these connections have varying depths. Once someone is in my chair, I try to gauge what they are looking for at that moment. Often it is just to relax for a few moments while their leather is being shined or conditioned. It is in these instances where my hands make the connection with their leather and whatever body part is beneath while my mouth remains silent. I allow my energy to flow through them in efforts to help them relax or enjoy their bootblack experience even more.
Sometimes my clients are more inquisitive about the bootblacking process and want to learn how to better care for their leather. Here the connection is more teacher to student. While I really enjoy helping someone relax, I love teaching someone about leather care even more. It is during these connections that I also get to learn more about the leather’s history and the client’s journey. When we are finished and my client walks away, I feel richer for having a 2 way share of knowledge.
If I know the client well and we both are feeling the need for something more, we may take the connection a little deeper and have a little fun by adding a bit of play into the mix. Being that I have been exploring my switchy side, things can get pretty interesting. Depending on where they fall on the spectrum, I can be more dominant and tie them to my chair, use more forceful strokes when applying conditioner and maybe even admonish them for being such a dirty girl or boy. I can also use my submissive side and give them a true spit shine on their boots by licking the toe cap. Let me just tell ya, that flow of energy is like none other. Thinking about it gives me tingling sensations in all the right places. :)
The thing to remember is that only you can know the depths of a connection that you make. I say this because recently I learned that a connection I made with a client went much deeper than I had thought it to be. A few years back at one of my first Frolicons, a gentleman sat for me. He shared that he was relatively new to the lifestyle and had just bought his first pair of leather boots and this was the first time sitting in a bootblack’s chair. I shared with him steps on how to better care for his leather while making sure I focused on him to ensure his enjoyment of the bootblack experience. When we were finished, he thanked me, went on his way and I savored the moment of the energy exchange then focused my attention on my next client. I didn’t really think about the person again. Flashforward to SELF this past year. Someone I had been crushing on for a long time sat down in my chair. As we chatted and flirted a bit, he began to tell me about his first experience sitting in a bootblack’s chair and how that interaction developed a bit of a fetish for him. He went on to say that he didn’t remember a lot about the bootblack because he was focusing on the experience and how she made him feel. He remembered that she was from out of town and had a very specific tattoo. When he said those words, I froze. Even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer, I asked him to describe the tattoo. The description of one of my tattoos flowed through his lips and up my spine. Imagine his surprise when I told him that I was the bootblack. Once he recovered from shock, he told me that he had been asking people for years if they might know the bootblack of whom he was speaking.
The connections we make help guide our path. A brief connection through a smile can brighten someone’s day. A longer encounter can make a connection that leaves a lasting impression on someone you don’t even know.
So here is to making connections that make everyone’s step a little peppier, heart a little lighter, and path much brighter.
In Leather,
mycalyne

 

Hello, Southeast Leatherfest Family!

I am the 2019 Southeast Bootblack.

Even after 2 weeks of being able to say that, I am still in awe of that statement. Everyone keeps saying how hard I have worked to accomplish this goal. I did work hard, but I could never have done it by myself. I have been encouraged and supported every step of the way by some amazing people. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank them.

First and foremost, to my Master, my Owner, the love of my life, SirThomas205 whose love, guidance, and gentle (and sometimes not so gentle ;)) reminders to keep me on track, thank You, Master, we did it!!! Eos_Aurora84, thank you for being my handler and sounding board throughout the past few months. Talking things through with you helped me get my thoughts in the right order. Jared, thank you for letting me take Eos_Aurora84 away from you for a little while and for bringing us much needed nourishment.

A huge thank you to my fantasy cast and crew made up of Girl Friday, Ms. Rhonda, SirThomas205, Eos_Aurora84, Tony the Gray, Country, Tammy, the SELF stage, lighting, and sound crew, and all of you who listened to me and made suggestions during the planning stage. ALL of you helped take what I had in my head and translate it into a visual of how I feel about bootblacking.

Trinity’s amazing writing and editorial skills taught me how to tell my story with more interesting details. Thank you, my friend!

I am also very thankful for my personal cheering section made up of my CABLE and TRC community as well as my Atlanta family. A few of them came specifically just to support me. Seeing and hearing you while on stage filled my heart with joy and stopped my knees from knocking.

To Lady Catherine, Miss Bettie, Jack, boy Andy, and the SELF staff and board, thank you so much for all you do to manage all the million and one details that make SELF the educational and safe space it is. Master Blue did great job getting the contestants ready for competition in the months leading up to the event. boy David, our Den Daddy, has a bag that would make Mary Poppins jealous.

Our judging panel, Sir David Labriola, GoddessMW, Master Robert, Sacara, and ServiceKitty and Technical Boot judges Dale and MsPomegranate are the bomb! They truly care about the contestants and did their best to make us feel at ease. Thank you all for your comments and guidance.

An enormous thank you to SELF’s phenomenal volunteers! Without you, SELF would not be possible. I’m not sure if many people know just how much they do. I mean, we have volunteers for everything from working the front desk to hosting cocktail parties to setting up and breaking down the dungeon to being runners for any needful thing. We even have our own medical staff that walks around the event to take care of minor injuries and illness!

Tori, Tid Bit, and all of the bootblacks who showed up and shared their talent and skill to make all of our leather look good, You Guys Rock! Through their hard work and generosity, more than $400 was raised for the Titleholder Travel Fund! Thank you so much for that support!!

Speaking of the Travel Fund and generosity, let me tell y’all about my auction baskets. I don’t know who won them, but they are enjoying beautiful craftsmanship of Unique Kink (handmade leather floggers), MyBlueMarie (hand crocheted blanket), ChrisTheGirl (hand painted boot dragon), RedDog (handmade CABLE logo paddle), Buddha-man (handmade “lightening” paddle) and TigerSyr (leather pocket and rawhide cane). Other contributions of cigars, a silver ashtray, pins, alcohol, kinky movies, self care items and other toys were donated by SirThomas205, Ronin68, SoDomBlu, Luggage Monkeys, CallmeCara, Eos_Aurora84, TopQuark, and Bama. Thank you all so much!!!

Our vendors were awesome this year and gave us a wide variety of pretties to choose from. They also provided items for the raffle. Thank you to Dorrie from Dorrie’s Creations for fixing the chainmail on my medallion when it wouldn’t lay correctly.

Since winning the title, I have had some continue to contribute financially and materially to my personal travel fund. Katie_Beth and RedStateKinkster, I am awestruck at the amazing cigar service kit you gifted to me to use in my Cigar Service class.

Whew! See what I mean??? That’s a lot of people that have helped me along the way and that doesn’t even take in to account all the well wishers and offers of support both at home and at SELF. Seriously though, I am truly humbled by the tremendous outpouring of love and support. If you said an encouraging word, gave me tips on how to better prepare for my speech, told me how proud you are of me, or just gave me a hug, you are a part of my journey and I am eternally grateful.

Now it’s time for me to really get busy and take full advantage of the honor for which I have been entrusted. I already have plans to attend the Tarheel Leather Run July 19th – 21st in North Carolina. I’m working on setting up other teaching opportunities around the Southeast as well. If you are putting together an event, would like me to come teach, or just attend, please reach out to me at 2019SEBootblack@gmail.com, friend me on Facebook (mycalyne Bootblack), or follow me on Twitter (Mycalyne1).

See you all soon!

In Leather,
mycalyne

 

 Email   SE Bootblack Facebook   SE Bootblack Fetlife   SE Bootblack Twitter

July 2021
UPRISE | July 11 - Participated in Social Justice panel
MAsT Tampa | July 14 - Butler Books

June 2021
SELF Mayhem | June 18 - Participated in the Men of SELF panel
CAPEX | June 19 - Presented "Overcoming MI in an M/s Dynamic*"
MAsT Towson | June 20 - Presented "Atonement"
MAsT Raleigh | June 27 - Participated in discussion

May 2021
Be the Difference Munch | May 13 - Participated in the How We Trans Panel
MTTA Community Voices | May 15 - Participated in the panel
Pragmatically Kinking | May 22 - Presented "On the Edge of Consent"

April 2021
Pragmatically Kinking | Apr. 9 - Presented "Protocols & Rituals"
IMsL/IMsBB | Apr. 16 - Presented "Overcoming MI in an M/s Dynamic"
Pragmatically Kinking | Apr. 16 - Presented "Butler Books & Household Management"
THRIVE Conference | Apr. 24 - Presented "Overcoming MI in an M/s Dynamic" & Led Power/Authority Dynamics and Mental Illness Discussion

March 2021
Pragmatically Kinking | Mar. 19 - Presented "Effectively on the Left"
Pragmatically Kinking | Mar. 26 - Presented "Nothing Less Than Everything"

February 2021
Black to Leather Recording
Pragmatically Kinking | Feb. 8 - Presented "Writing a Formal Petition"
MAsT Greensville, SC | Feb. 14 - Presented "On the Edge of Consent"
FLAME Conference | Feb. 20 - Presented "On the Edge of Consent"
MAsT Clifton | Feb. 28 - Presented "The Distinction Between Ease & Easy"

January 2021
MTJAF Podcast: Mental Health & Wellness

December 2020
MAsT Tampa | Dec. 14 - Particpated in M/s Panel
FROST 2020 | Awarded Certificate of Gratitude

November 2020
Leather Reign | Nov. 13 - 15 - Presented "Atonement"
Woodshed Orlando Kink Basics | Nov. 7 - Participated in Protocol Panel

October 2020
MAsT Kissimmee | Oct. 15 - Presented "Atonement"
House of Decorum | Oct. 25 - Discussed M/s Titleholding

July 2020
Pragmatically Kinking | July 31 - Participated in the Mental Health & Power Dynamics Panel

June 2020
Wicked Grounds | Various Dates - Presented "Everything to do with Boots," "Nothing Less Than Everything," & "Let's Play Follow the Leader"

May 2020
Pacific Rim Power Exchange | May 22 - 24 - Presenting "On the Edge of Consent," & "Nothing Less Than Everything"
Wicked Grounds | Various Dates - Presented "Overcoming MI in an M/s Dynamic," "On the Edge of Consent," & "Follow the Leader"

April 2020
MAsT Atlanta | Apr. 19 - Presented "Overcoming MI in an M/s Dynamic"

March 2020
Latinos in Leather | Mar. 26 - Presented "Leathercare 101"

January 2020
AnonM/s Con | Jan. 24 - 26 - Presenting "On the Edge of Consent," "Making the Mundane Magic: Protocols and Rituals," &
"Overcoming MI in an M/s Dynamic"
Sin in the City | Jan. 30 - Feb. 2 - Presenting "Everything to do with Boots" & Participating on the Gender Panel

December 2019
Woodshed Holiday Extravaganza | Dec. 7 - Fireplay & Fire Cupping Demo
TNG Beacon Skillshare | Dec. 22 - Presenting "Playing with Fire"
Living in Leather @ Tampa Bay Pheonix Club | Dec. 28 - Presenting

November 2019
Jax Start Here Leather & Cigar Social | Nov. 9 - Attending
The Rack Room | Nov. 16 - Presenting "Protocols and Rituals" & "Consensual Nonconsent"
MAsT Raleigh | Nov. 24 - Presenting "Overcoming Mental Illness in a Master/slave Dynamic"

October 2019
Come Out with Pride Orlando | Oct. 14 - Marching in the Parade with Orlando Kinksters
The Orlando Munch | Oct. 26 - Presenting “Beyond the Binary”

September 2019
Florida Power Exchange | Sept. 19 – 22 - Presenting “Writing a Formal Petition” & “Erotic Leathercare”, Participating in the Mentor Room

August 2019
Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit | Aug. 15 – 18 - Presenting “Queer Leathersex”
Rocky Mountain Rebellion | Aug. 22 – 25 - Presenting “Queer Leathersex” & “Overcoming MI in an M/s Dynamic”
Master/slave Conference | Aug. 29 – Sept. 2 - Attending

July 2019
MAsT Kissimmee | July 7- Presenting “Nixing the Stigma”
MAsT Ft. Lauderdale | July 17 - Attending
FLSb/FCBB Leather Cruise | July 19 - Attending

June 2019
MAsT Kissimmee | June 20 - Attending
Southeast Leatherfest | June 13 - 16 - Competing at Southeast Master/slave Contest

May 2019
Power eXchange Summit | May 10 - 12 - Presenting "Power Exchange Primer," "Power of Choice," & "Bringing Home the Bacon: Butler Books"
Beyond Leather | May 16 - 19 - Presenting "Queer Leathersex"

April 2019
Shenanigans | Apr. 12 - 14 - Presenting "Beyond the Binary"

March 2019
LLC | Mar. 15 - 17 - Presented "Beyond the Binary","Intersectionality or Get the Fuck Out," & Sir Luke joined board of directors
Kinky Campout | Mar. 29 - 31 - Presented "Everything to do with Boots"

February 2019
Sin in the City | Feb. 1 - 3 - Presented "Erotic Leathercare", & "Overcoming MI in an M/s Dynamic"
MAsT Kissimmee | Feb. 21 - Presented "Beyond the Binary"
Critter Camp | Feb. 23 - Presented "The Human Animal"

January 2019
Gainesville Beacon | Jan. 19 - Presented "Overcoming MI in an M/s Dynamic"

 

 

Master Luke and his victor enact their Master/slave dynamic with a consensual nonconsent structure. They have discovered divine purpose in their exploration of leathersex, sacred S&M, and elevated service. When victor’s petition reached Sir Luke's hands in 2013, they took a leap of faith together, overcoming fear and shame, and have built the most intense, passionate expression of love and authenticity they've known ever since. Their blood is shared on the collar victor now wears permanently.

They have presented internationally on eroticism in leathercare, deepening devotion and surrender, and the healing aspects of structured lifestyles. As a second generation Leatherman, Sir Luke has a strong connection to Leather history and strives to carry his uncle's legacy by building a brighter future for the queer Leather community. slave victor is a devoted slave who speaks against the stigmas surrounding mental health, expression of gender, and fragility in slavery. Together, they stand behind the phrase, "Be authentically you."

Sir Luke and his victor earned the Florida Power Exchange title of 2016/2017. Sir Luke currently serves on the board for the Leather Leadership Conference. When they're not doing work in the community, they enjoy their home sanctuary, where victor can sit at Sir Luke's feet in their dungeon and they can simply exist as Master and slave.

 

 

Has it really only been two weeks? Sir and i really hit the ground running. We attended a meeting with MAsT Kissimmee as well as video called into the MAsT Ft. Lauderdale meeting. We had some great discussions about butler books and what it takes to travel as power exchange and M/s partners. Did you know that we almost always travel with plastic zip top bags, or that the index for our butler book is three pages long? It’s always such a pleasure to participate in these group discussions and really see how, in all our differences, we all want to be successful and seen in our chosen flavor of relationship.

Master/slave is such a particular segment among the widely diverse spectrum of BDSM, Kink, and Leather lifestyles. Add into that the further diversities of the LGBTQIA+ and neurodivergent communities, finding peers and partners can seem like a mind-boggling undertaking.

Even when i first met Sir and we both had a desire to enter this dynamic, things weren’t at the right place and time for either of us. It took two more years of growing and learning for us to really find that ideal space of being ready to lay out all our cards, be transparent, and take a leap of faith together. We both knew what we wanted and in what order our priorities fell, and as soon as we found that critical compatibility, we were off!

Over the years, we have had all sorts of ups and downs. Amazing moments, sad days, and even times where we just held tight to each other and waited out the storms.

After our speeches Saturday night at SELF, all we could do was wait. We had done what we came to do. We said what we wanted to say and were authentic to ourselves. Months and months of planning, preparing, and practicing came down to this heart pounding, breath-holding moment. Would we win? Would we lose? If we lost, would we regret or question what we did or how i looked?

Sir took me into His arms, and we took a moment to breathe. We reminded each other that we were deliberate, vulnerable. That no matter what, we were proud of one another. i told Him how amazing it was that He didn’t falter in His speech, knowing that He was so nervous beforehand. He told me how proud He was that i was able to overcome my fears and be who i have become.

Just backstage, as they called our classmates to the stage to take their mantles, we held each other and knew that, no matter what happened in that moment, we would go home together, that we would still hit the road, and talk about the things that impassion us, that drive us to be vocal and visible, that we would not give in to the fears and pressures of the violent world at large.

This feeling of standing at the edge, with our breath held tight in our chest, has always been a part of who we are together. The waiting for the moments that life would take us, the leaping into play and sex with wild abandon, the knowing that every single moment is all the more precious when the things outside of our control might tear us apart.

So we intertwine, take on the forces together, as a single unit. i am an extension of Him, and He is the soul that drives us both. With that tempered, indivisible strength, we move forward, no matter what. We did not falter when i fell into my mental illness, we did not break when we faced the realities of home security or job security, we did not surrender when we felt the heavy weight of too much grief.

Here we were, at another precipice. Waiting to see what would happen next. But we knew that whatever happened, it would be us together, always.

And then, in that wonderful moment, we were called to stage, and given the chance to rise up and accept the gravity and joy of the Southeast Master and slave titles.

There was a sort of hum in my ears: stunned, delighted, and overjoyed that we were able to connect not just with the judges, but members of the community there. That we would move forward with an incredible opportunity to carry our message even further.

We want to encourage and further people’s right to sexual liberation, empowerment in diversity, recognition of intersections, and education surrounding mental health and neurodivergence. We plan to do this by having earnest conversations about our experiences, histories, and endeavors as Master and slave, as well as teaching as much as we are able and making genuine connections that help strengthen the bonds between broad spaces of the community.

You can find us presenting at or attending the following events in the next few months:

July
MAsT Kissimmee | July 7
• Presenting “Nixing the Stigma”
FLSb/FCBB Leather Cruise | July 19
• Attending

August
Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit | Aug. 15 - 18
• Presenting “Queer Leathersex”
Rocky Mountain Rebellion | Aug. 22 - 25
• Presenting “Queer Leathersex”
• Presenting “Overcoming MI in an M/s Dynamic”
Master/slave Conference | Aug. 29 – Sept. 2
• Attending

September
Florida Power Exchange | Sept. 19 - 22
• Presenting “Writing a Formal Petition”
• Presenting “Erotic Leathercare”
Great Lakes Leather Alliance | Sept. 26 - 29
• Presenting “Sex Toys: What to Choose, How to Use”

October
The Orlando Munch | Oct. 26
• Presenting “Beyond the Binary”

We’ll also be attending some other awesome socials, get-togethers, and events here and there. See y’all out there on the road!

From Washington, D.C., to Salt Lake City, Utah, and back to Washington, D.C, all within a month’s time, and then to Atlanta and all over Florida. That just barely touches the surface of how steeped in community my slave and I have been these past few months. I’ve been getting back to work for the new school year, and my slave has been keeping the house together throughout my busy schedule as we travel back and forth. The events we’ve gone to have been new, wonderful experiences that have given us a renewed appreciation and hope for our future.

At the beginning of August, we attended Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit and met a whole new demographic of folks in lines of work parallel to what we do in the lifestyle and equally as important. We made so many connections, and attended classes that were truly enlightening. Our class, “Queer Leathersex,” went well and was well received by attendees.

Rocky Mountain Rebellion felt like the family reunion we didn’t know we needed. We saw so many folks from our Sin family (Sin in the City in Las Vegas!), met folks from the Salt Lake City MAsT chapter, and had great conversations surrounding mental health, leathersex, behavior modification, and total surrender in power dynamics.

At the end of August, we attended the Master/slave Conference for our first time. What an experience. My slave and I were able to express ourselves without question, without withholding parts of ourselves we sometimes do to assimilate. It felt so natural and free to have him serve without him being interrupted, and we reveled in the opportunity to do so.

But with all light, there must be dark. Alongside the beautiful experiences we’ve had during our travel, sadness and pain have been prevalent undercurrents, both in smaller communities and the community at large. Regardless of where you stand in the current affairs, I am guiding us as we learn to answer a simple, but ever prevalent, question: What can we do to make change?
We started our official personal fundraiser for our title year to be able to afford suicidality educator certification courses. We sold shirts, and within a day of releasing them, sold all 100 of our first batch of pins. If you would like to support our mission and goals, we will have pins on us at all of our travels for $10 each. We have been able to afford for one of us to take the course, and we are so grateful to all who purchased to show their support.

Just this past weekend, we hosted a live video on our Facebook page regarding how we overcome the barriers of mental illness in our dynamic and work with them instead of working against them. Over two hundred people have watched our video, and about fifteen were watching consistently throughout and chatting with us, asking questions and having the moments we all love: the “ah-ha!” moments that gives a spark that someone can use to enrich their own dynamic.
My slave and I always talk about the story with the kid and the starfish, the one where the older folk tell them to stop trying to save them because it doesn’t matter. Still, they keep throwing starfish after starfish back into the ocean to save their lives. So how do we make change? It isn’t about how many we save, or about how big the beach is, or how hot the sun is, or how little time there is in the day. It isn’t about the people who tell us we are wasting our time or that our efforts are unnoticed. It’s about the one person whose life we changed for the better.

If we can, through living authentically and truly to who we are as Master and slave, by telling our story and not apologizing for what we are and how deeply our desires for control, dependency, and surrender go, show a person that what we do is possible, healthy, and can be safe and liberating, then what greater joy is there? And further, if we can encourage people to live their truth, without shame or silence, by including people different from ourselves but not other, then how much more diverse and rich would our community be?

In Leather,
Sir Luke
Southeast Master 2019

 

Hello dear readers,
victor here! So much has happened since our last column. What we thought might be a quiet season for us turned out to be quite bursting with opportunities to connect and forge relationships with folks from all over the region.

In November, we spent some time in Jacksonville, FL to raise money for the Leather Heart Foundation and share a late-night meal with great friends. We road tripped up to Milton, FL and shared two classes: “Protocols and Rituals: Making the Mundane Magic,” and, “On the Edge of Consent.” We shared some of the functionality of how protocols and rituals enrich our lives as well as how we thrive within consensual nonconsent as a structure of our dynamic.

The following week, right before Thanksgiving, we flew to Raleigh, NC to speak with the MAsT: Raleigh chapter about mental health and the tools and perspectives that keep us strong. We spent much needed time with our title grandparents, Master IceDog and slave ravyn (Southeast Master/slave 2017). They were wonderful hosts and we are grateful to have had more conversations with them and exist freely in the same space.

December started off with an all-day string of fire play demos at the Woodshed in Orlando, FL. Sir and i both lost count of how many folks were willing to let us show them what fire play means to us as a medium and are humbled by that trust. Later in the month, we had a wonderful evening eating Pho with MAsT Kissimmee, sharing in holiday joy. We began our winter holiday break with a hike up to Gainesville for a close contact, extended fire workshop for their TNG.

Dotted among all these wonderful days on the road were some amazing and intimate conversations with friends and acquaintances. Zoom calls and meetings have become an excellent route to reach folks outside of social media and have what feel like more face to face discussions.

Sir and i spent the last week or so at home snuggled together and ate more sweets and yummy food than we could stand. Baking and cooking are one of our favorite ways to spend time together. Well, at least, i’ll cook, and Sir sits with me as we have intentional conversations about where we are and where we’d like to go.

We together discovered a love of plum wine, added some wonderful books to our collection, and really dug into what the next year would look like for us.

It was the first time we really looked back at our 2019 in its totality and acknowledged that we have put our hearts into what we do so fully. Since January last year, we have been a part of over 50 events, discussions, and meetings.

We, in a moment, sighed, and allowed ourselves the liberty of feeling content over this winter break, and then together, with renewed passion, embraced our rituals for beginning the new year. We look forward to another exciting year with so much potential.

 

I woke up this morning, among tear-filled tissues and crumpled sheets.

The smell of grief clung to the paint on the walls.

It was all over me.

So I took a deep breath. Looked to my right. And saw him.

There were so many before. They laid in my bed, took space in my heart, and left me with nothing except this uncompromising will.

he kneels, and I see in his eyes what I never found before.

he says, "No matter what," without speaking.

he says, "i surrender," as he puts his lips to my leather gloves.

Wounds heal, yet he presses tenderness into the scars left by the past. Wounds heal, but I open him anew so that every scar on his body is mine and mine alone.

he is the one who makes my heart real. Softer. Kinder. Forgiving.

We stand, because there was no one to stand for us once.

We stand, so that no one feels alone.

Hey y'all, it's been a while! We've got so much to cover and i hope you'll stick with us through it all.

So much has happened since our last column, so let's get caught up.

As many of you already know, Sir and i weren't able to reach our goal of taking home the International Master/slave title. While we're intensely disappointed and working through the sadness, we are also profoundly proud.

Titleholder thoughts from your 2019/2020 Southeast slave, and one half of 2016/2017 Power Exchange.

The topic of power imbalance isn't new territory for either of us, and going into a situation where our fate is in the hands of others is something i think we've all experienced. Maybe it was that dream job or even something as profound as a collar.

To say that we desired the International M/s title is an immense understatement. In that desire, it would have been very easy to allow ourselves to slip into a caricature of who we are; to become easily digestible for just a few days; to memorize the "right" answers and put on enough boot polish to glamor folks into thinking we too are flawless, glossy, and smooth.

i admit that maybe i did use a metric ton of boot polish, but we went to International in all of our humanity. Flaws, rough edges, and authenticity were the forefront of what we wanted to bring to that stage.

We even went so far as to say we didn't need it, that we didn't need to win the title if it meant we couldn't be authentic or speak hard truths. It was one of those moments where i felt the air escape me. my immediate reaction was to panic. i looked to Sir in that moment and He reassured me that while He dreamed of, and wanted to be a part of, that legacy title, nothing was worth giving up parts of ourselves for.

It isn't easy to stand up. Radical self acceptance at any cost is daunting at best. It is something that we have both learned to do the hard way as trans men, as disabled, as body diverse, as Jewish, as other.

What we do isn't for everyone. What we do isn't safe.

We exist in a deep ocean of edges. We play in ways that would be unacceptable to some. We stand in positions of visibility, not to appeal to everyone, but to reach those who speak the same language that we do. We reach out to the folks who question their desires, who have been firmly set into categories at large of being deviant.

So, beyond our vanilla labels, we call out to you:
● The sanguine and lovers of blood.
● The ones who engage in violence as a radical act of reclamation.
● Those deemed broken for their neurodivergence.
● The folks who stand at the very edge of play, and then begin their dance.
● The avid practitioners of BDSM.
● Those who salivate at the smell of back alleys, leather, gasoline, piss, and rubber boot soles.
● Those who seek pleasure that defies the world at large and its expectations of pious vacancy.
● For those who are Master and slave, because nothing else will do.

 Sir and i have been out there, on the road, since 2016. Each year has become an exponential expansion of our efforts as titleholders and kink educators. Becoming SELF's Master and slave representatives was absolutely a launch into an even more robust travel schedule.

We cannot promise to be easily digestible or appeal to everyone. But what we can do is promise to hold space for those who need it. We can carry our title with pride until it is time to step aside for others who wish to step up and share their perspective and knowledge.

We will never teach those who come after us that diminishing who we are is the path to liberation.

We will not now, or ever, come quietly.

Let it be the darkness from which we emerge.
Let it be the night turned morning, the moon turned sun.
Let its heat warm my chest,
Bare in broad daylight,
Ten inch scars under each pectoral, daring the world to move.

This is not the end of the day.

It is the beginning of the road.

My ancestors didn't come here,
With fabric carrying everything they owned,
To be told that this is enough.

This is not enough.

This is the crumbs at the end of the table,
The scraps left over from the dog's bowl,
The half eaten, maggot infested burger left in the trash.
This is our penance for complacency:
Purgatory and shame.

Don't tell me to "smile, baby."
Don't tell me to be grateful.
My inherited oppression is more than one note, single issue policies can heal.
I will only stop when I'm the last one bleeding,
When the kid I passed on the street knows they are safe.

You can kill a person.
You can't kill an idea.

 

 As the ongoing SouthEast slave, i feel like it's important to be available/visible to those who may be looking for someone to relate to.

i won't go on about it, but this year had been difficult in many directions at once. my health hasn't been great (not covid related, thankfully), but, in brief summary, i've been dealing with several painful conditions, the duress of Sir dealing with various forms of discrimination at work, the sudden death of my father, my mother regurgitating certain dog whistles and continuing to refuse to accept my being her son. At one point, she told me my father never even wanted me in response to my grief...fun times.

Needless to say, it has affected my mental health to an extent. i'm finding communication with the outside world a bit overwhelming, and as an agoraphobic, i haven't left the house all that much.

But what does all of that mean in relation to my status as a slave?

Some might suggest taking a break from the demands of such a role, or go so far as to say that someone with debilitating schizophrenia should not be a slave at all. Afterall, i should be making Sir’s life easier, not harder, right?

Thankfully, more than one thing at a time is possible, even if they seem (or are) diametrically opposed. i am still making Sir's life easier, and also embracing being a slave while moving through difficulty.

Behind the relative silence on social media, i have done my utmost to submerge myself in service. i have been hard at work renovating our home, refining my Japanese tea skills, learning Chinese tea ceremony, working on language skills, discovering new recipes, hosting two new beehives, learning about plants, designing and building custom dungeon furniture, and other manner of things.

When things get hard, i fold into Sir. We've had many great talks about why certain activities get us barking at each other (e.g. moving large objects and how that relates to spacial understanding. Sir is linear and i am abstract.) We've started unpacking undesired responses by looking at old traumas...and many other things.

All of this awkward wordiness to simply say...

Lean in
If being a slave nourishes you like it does me - eat, drink, sleep it in every action, large and small.

Revel
In the catharsis and connection of communicating fears, inabilities, and shortcomings. Radical self-acceptance means all of you, today as you are, and still doing the work to be better every day.

Devote
Surrender and giving of the self is a deliberate, meditative practice that requires daily work. Your best may look different every day, but still do your best every day and fight off feeling discouraged.

There's something to be said about embracing silence as a practice, so i'll likely still be quite quiet for a while. But i'm still here, submerging myself into service, and i hope that's resonant for some of y'all.

of leather-
victor

 

i’ll never forget how it felt the first time He spit on my cock.

It wasn't the first or the last time i was degraded in sex, but it was certainly the first time i really understood what reclaiming something felt like. As He towered over me, using the friction of my body to draw pleasure from, i knew.

There have been countless times i was made to feel powerless. Things were very different before His influence.

i was made to feel that the holes i carried were my only worth. How much cock could i take? How many needs could i sacrifice? How much more could i give? This was my opus of being powerless, fragile, and timid. Every use and abuse was a lesson in why i had to become someone else: someone stronger, someone more aggressive.

Yet here i was, willing and wailing and begging for Him to use me. Because in this place, all the rules were bent and broken. How much more would i give Him, willingly? How much more will i take? The man above me was deemed a monster by the world for His proclivities. my polar opposite in every way. His edges made of broken glass cut deeply into my willing softness. i take all of Him.

This is how we were meant to be.

He fit into me, not in the way a hard cock forces into soft wet places, but in the manner of lava erupting through a crevice scarred closed. i have begged Him a thousand times to rip me apart, to know the places that no one else has ever seen or touched.

His violence reminds me of exactly who i am. small, frail, insignificant. And yet i rise, knowing i am the one He chose among billions. A single speck, empowered to change His entire world.

i purged so willingly all of the grief that resided in my heart, not to fill it with my own ambition, but to be a container for His own. It is afterall the least i can do, to give Him my entirety. He gave me the gift of truth. This truth exists manifested in a ring of steel, heavy and permanent around my neck.

The simple truth that He has claimed me, for always.

We fuck with, in, and around the power of pleasure. Standing at its apex. When blood spills on the streets, we find the cum in our sheets. Ours is not more right or less wrong, but it IS our gloriously violent reclamation of pleasure and power. Nothing will drive this hunger from me, and nothing can drive us apart. Fear holds no real power here. Not in our sanctuary. Every flame set is a lick of pleasure waiting to be reclaimed.

Our love and sex is molten rebellion. It redefines fear. It tears away archetypes and instills liberation. It is palm to cheek, cock to gag, pain to pleasure, and yes, Master and slave.

 

As the spring season turns to summer, change is ever abundant.

In this past year, we have seen events shift to remote and digital interfaces. Our family and home have experienced profound grief alongside a chaotic world. Our home itself has begun a massive renovation.

The only certainty in this life is change. As much as we, at our core, want to resist it and refuse it.

We want to believe that change in ourselves is only affected by major events. Weddings and funerals and traumas and joys that are benchmarks of human experiences. For us, as Master and slave, i could suggest that this was the day Sir put His permanent collar around my neck in the presence of beloved friends and family. Or perhaps each year when He cuts and renews His brand on my back.

The reality though, is that we are ever changing, and each moment i choose to comply with an order, or show integrity in my service. When Sir shaves me and cuts my hair, when we eat Korma curry and rice with the summer sun streaming in the bay windows, how we watch His garden flourish under hands of care and compassion, and even in the books placed on library shelves and cigars smoked in leather seats. These are the moments that create change over time that make this life profound and rich.

If you told me ten years ago that i would be completely content in my station as a slave, without authority, with a quiet life in a beautiful home, i would have laughed in disbelief. i've moved countless times, been homeless, experienced intense trauma and never in all those years of experiences would i have guessed or expected that fate would offer me this kindness and shelter from the harsh world.

Over the many years, i have grown intertwined with Sir’s life. my ambitions have evolved to be His ambitions, my goals are His as well. i think the only thing slow to catch up is my palate; fried foods are just so crunchy and yummy in comparison to broccoli!

As much as our exchange thrives on violence and brutality, it is also about deep contentedness. The agony of pain and catharsis are the means to which we as scarred people find healing and respite.

So we share that with those who would listen.

Recently, we tallied our adventures in the world at large and realized that since FPE 2016, Sir and i have taught at least 105 classes. We haven't ever been flashy or dropped new class titles for the glamor, but the content we offer grows and changes as we do. We often ask ourselves why we keep pressing forward as titleholders.

The answer is simple, really:
● because there is a need;
● because each time we teach, we’re able to offer a different perspective;
● because each time we reach out, someone reaches back and expresses relief that they know that they aren’t alone.

Our intertanglement is not static; it could not have survived this long if it were.

When life pushes Sir one way, if i were to resist, we could break apart. What we have could fracture. Rather, we move ahead, sinuous and flexible. We are like woven rope, each trial strengthens us, we grow and change, and twist tighter together.

The simple bliss of it is that Sir is the fiber, and i surrender to Him suspending in His desires.

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October 5 , 2019 ——- Tradesmen Bar night at the WoodShed in Charlotte, NC
October 24 - 27 ——— Leather History Preservation Weekend in Atlanta, GA

 

Hello everyone,

Well it is finally the time for me to step aside and no longer be your current SOUTHEAST PERSON OF LEATHER. I’m actually going to try to get through this without being too emotional or should I say getting emotional. Words can’t express how much the SouthEast has changed and saved my life. The only thing I can say is that I will always and forever be eternally grateful for this opportunity. Here are just a few pictures that I was able to take before we shut down in the pandemic I hope you enjoy the memories as much as I enjoyed making them.

Greetings Everyone,

I know it has been a while since my last column, I do deeply apologize but as we all know the past few years life has been crazy for us all with Covid and social distancing and having to learn a whole new way of life. This task was somewhat especially hard for me due to being separated from a lot of people that were very dear to my heart it kind of sent me into a depressed state and actually make me kind of shut down and pull away from a lot of things. Also unfortunately I was one of the individuals due to the Covid shut down who lost their entire business. But God is good I am recovering and coming back from that.

So let’s talk a little bit about being an ally for an individual who may be dealing with some type of mental illness. Now with all of the social distancing the capacity limitations on venues makes it hard for us is a Leather community to gather or even to stay in contact a lot of us only saw each other in bars events or things like that zoom and FaceTime have become a great help for me as far is staying in contact being able to see individuals still learn and teach and grow with individuals. So please if you have a friend or someone that you care about, take the time out to chec in, call, FaceTime, or even a zoom. A lot of times we just need to see individuals to make sure that we’re in a good headspace to let them know that you are there, you’re an ally . I have actually even started trying to download some games in my App Store that I can actually play with some of my leather family over the Internet so from day today we actually have some kind of interaction, we’re checking on each other, and if it takes you too long to make that next move you know I sent a text, call to say, "hey yo, did you forget about the game and also I want to check on you."

I’m happy to say I will be judging a contest this coming March, so be on the look out for it to be announced. I’m also open and ready to educate and empower on the subjects of gender identity and sexual activity along with taking it down the road through the eyes of a POC non-binary individual. Feel free to contact me at any of the emails or social media links listed below

Fetlife: bboirednc
Tweeter: @broadie75
IG : s_o_a_f_
Btavis79@yahoo.com

 

Hey Hey, how is everyone? It has been a minute. I must apologize for the delay but I have been getting ready for “SIN IN THE CITY" 2020. I hope to see some of you there. So let's share, I would like to talk about a few things:

First let’s talk about depression and the people of color community. This is a big issue within the people of color community because of the sole fact of even admitting that you have a problem mentally whether that be depression or any other type of mental illness is a problem within itself. In this community to admit that you are having mental problems or you may have a mental break down seeking medical help is never the answer. The answer that most people of color were taught to deal with this situation is to pray and give it to GOD. Which is somewhat the correct answer.

However in today’s society the stress and strain of every day life can be very overwhelming to individuals. We are now living in a society where individuals are trying to make individuals be a certain sexual identity or a certain gender and on top of all of that the work environment is not the best. Just take the time out to really look in research on how much suicide has went up with in the people of color community.

Is it because the people of color or too scared to ask for help or is it that the knowledge of the resources that are out there to help is not being made available them? Do they even know about national organizations such as the Trevor Project? The Trevor Project is one of many organizations that help young LGBT living under the age of 25 with crisis prevention and suicide prevention. Programs like this are very ideal in the community is a big need for them. But the question is even though there’s a big need for for them will they be accessible for everyone?

I tell you what how about you’ll help me and I help you let’s sit out in 2020 to spread the word about foundations and organizations like the Trevor Project or any of the crisis prevention or suicide prevention informational organizations that you may know.

With lots of Leather Love,

Mx Idris Dior ONYX

P.S.

YOU HAVE WITHIN YOU RIGHT NOW, EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO DEAL WITH WHATEVER THE WORLD CAN THROW AT YOU.

 Brian Tracy

 

Greetings Family,

I hope all is well with everyone. I would like to take a few minutes and talk about why I choose not to use any pronouns. I came to this decision because I want people to look at Idris for the person I am: keyword being person. Regardless of my skin color, religion, sexual identity, gender identity, or other identifiers, I want my work in the Community, my morals, my values, and my work ethic to speak for me like they did at S.E.L.F. this year. I really wanted to show who I was as a person, with and without my Leather.

Yes, I have had some good days and bad days (or as I like to call them teachable moments). No, I don’t dress like most males or females or act like them either but I’m still a “Person", with feelings, hopes, dreams, and goals. So to sum it all up, I just want to be looked at as a person: nothing more, nothing less.

P.S. We must all remember everything is a process, which means things take time, processing and change. I am not nor will I be offended when someone uses a pronoun to refer to me or when speaking with me. It takes some getting used to, it did for me .

Now on to a few thank yous: CAPEX of Charlotte thank you much!!!!!!!
CAPEX allowed me to teach a class on Gender Bending and Non Binary, it was a blast , so much so that I’m coming back to do a part two , we got so into discussion that we ran overtime twice lol , I love all of them from the bottom of my heart. They have also donated $300.00 to my travel fund. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

I have one more thank you,

Thank you House of Valor, dinner was out of this world, I will wear your house pin with great pride.
Thank you NCMaster I will wear your pin with pride.

 

Hello everyone,

Thank you all so very much. Words can not begin to express how thankful and over joyed I am. My apologies for the delay, but it has just really hit me that I’m not living in my dreams but I’m living my reality. I made so many new friends and networked and made new family. There are just a few people that I have to give a special "Thank You" to because without I couldn’t have made to S.E.L.F.

Sir Enzo —— Shed Leather ( wardrobe )
Sir KG ONYX — (My Sir)
Deon Hooks —— (My Daddy and Handler)
Petal Schimmel — (The amazing basket for audition)
Lady D ————— (For your add-ons to the basket)
Hotel Staff ——— (the hospitality is out of this world)
Tori Jones ————(Bootblack)
Mid Altc OXYN pearls
Stan, Jamal, Reggie, EJ ——— (ONYX Southeast founding fathers) 
Leo Onyx
Timothy Lee
Judging Panel
Cara ————— (Co-handler)
Wolfie and TCake ——— (lacing my corset)

I think I got everyone if not please forgive me. In my next column i will post all my new contact information, but for now please feel free to friend request me on Facebook (Idris Dior ONYX)

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