girlBettie- 2025
SouthEast Person of Leather
girlBettie:
girlBettie is a queer, polyamorous, submissive-leaning switch currently living in Asheville, NC. She has been in the kink community for over 20 years and has been a part of the Leather community since 2007. She holds two Leather titles: Ms. North Carolina Leather 2007 and Ms. SouthEast LeatherFest 2008.
When she stepped down from her role as a current titleholder, she accepted a place on the operational board for SouthEast LeatherFest. She worked her way up from Operations Assistant to Associate Producer of Operations, and finally to Website Content and Contest Coordination before she stepped down from the board in 2022.
Bettie has been a presenter, mentor, volunteer, and leader. Since 2007, she has been presenting and volunteering for groups and events all over the Southeast. From Tennessee to Louisiana, Florida to North Carolina, Bettie has been honored to serve her community in whatever capacity was required at that time. girlBettie was also honored with the SELF Volunteer Award in 2022.
girlBettie loves spending time with her Leather family, Casa de la Unicorn, her Leather/Levi club, the Tarheel Leather Club, and her chosen family, Unsupervised Chaos, wherever they happen to be. Her passions in play include flogging, sensation play, electricity, blood, and needles. She has been called by many names but Bettie is still her favorite.
Calendar of Events
June 25, 2025 - Shades of Pride Virtual Panel, https://www.leathersolidarity.com/
July 18-20, 2025 - Tarheel Leather Club Stars & Stripes Run & North Carolina Bootblack Contest, https://tarheelleatherclub.org/tlc-stars-and-stripes-run/
August 22-24, 2025 - Coming Together, Jacksonville, NC
September 12-14, 2025 - High Elevation Colorado Kink, https://heckink.com/
September 18-21, 2025 - Mid West Leather Kink Alliance, https://mwlka.fun/
October 3-5, 2025 - River City Pride, https://jaxrcpride.org/
October 11, 2025 - Atlanta, GA Pride, https://atlantapride.org/
October 18, 2025 - Columbia Leather Order Run, https://fb.me/e/2I6XivG6W
December 5-7, 2025 - RSVP Baton Rouge
January 30-February 1, 2026 - Twisting Culture, https://twistingculture.com/
March 19-22, 2026 - South Plains Leatherfest, https://southplainsleatherfest.com/
April 9-12, 2026 - SouthEast LeatherFest, https://seleatherfest.com/
July 2025 Column
Hello everyone, it’s your new SouthEast Person of Leather, girl Bettie. What a whirlwind start to this adventure! Thank you for your trust, your belief, and your confidence in me to be your representative for the next year.
Each year that I attend SELF, I take something new away. This year, apart from the obvious, this year’s takeaway was the realization of how integral chosen family is to me.
This year, I had my two separate leather families in attendance at SELF: Casa de la Unicorn and Unsupervised Chaos. Each of these groups of people came into my life at different times for different reasons and yet they are all so very important to me. Let me give you some background…
For a very long time, I referred to myself as a “free-range leatherperson”. I did not belong to a leather family, a leather house, or a leather/levi club. I was a titleholder, a presenter, a board member, and a serviceperson within the community but I didn’t have that sense of family. I used that experience to explain to other people curious about the leather community that you don’t need those structures to be a part of us. You can be a leather person all on your own as long as you’re committed to the community: its growth, its safety, and its history. But as I moved along my journey, the deficit of an organized, structured, chosen family weighed heavy on my heart.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I had individuals that I considered to be family. I had my sash brother, Sir Andrew, my bestie, Jodibgood, my mentor, William, and many others that I had collected along the way. I had mentors, mentees, lovers, play partners, romantic partners, kink groups, and events that I frequented year after year. I had people who had known me from my very first kink munch in 2004, people who met me after my titles, and people who met me at one of my hundreds of presenting and volunteering gigs. All of those people helped shape my journey and helped me become the girl I am today.
Then, in 2023, I was blessed with 2 different groups forming around me and giving me that feeling that I had been missing. The first was in early May of 2023 at Frolicon. A group of SELF people, both titleholders and board/staff, sat around a table on the 3rd floor of the hotel. We were friends, more than friends, and we spent a majority of our time at these events together. That weekend, we began calling ourselves “Unsupervised Chaos”. At first it was a group chat, checking in on each other, planning our next event together, a touchpoint of safety for each other. But then we asked others to join our group, people that we knew would add positively to our group. It was after the first additions that we began to realize that we were functioning as a family, so we made it official, in our own way. We love each other, we support each other, we challenge each other, and we go to our group when we need something. We do not all live in the same place and that makes the family feeling hard sometimes, but we know in our souls that we are always there for one another.
A little later, in June of 2023, I was approached by a dear friend and community member to join their Leather House, Casa de la Unicorn. This person had welcomed me into their home and life over the 2022-2023 school year, my last as a teacher. It was a rough year for me and this person never blinked an eye when I asked for support. I was leaving Jacksonville, FL, for North Carolina and a new job at the end of June, 2023, so they knew they needed to ask me this important question before I left. I was with the founder of this house when the idea was first batted around back in 2019. I watched the family form, grow, solidify its values, support the community, and make a name for itself. I was honored and humbled to be asked to join that incredible family and there was no hesitation in me. Since I joined CdlU, I have been able to contribute not only to the kink and leather communities but the Jacksonville marginalized communities as well. As a family, CdlU mirrors my values, my ideals, my love of the community, and my desire for accountability. Our family continues to grow as we add other like-minded individuals to our whole, making us better and better as we move forward. Our patch was added to the Leather Quilt Project at SELF this year
and it was a joyous moment for us all. I am so very proud to be Unicorn in so many different ways.
Both of these families surrounded me with love, support, assurances, and manual labor during my contestant weekend. Each group contributed tremendously to my successful title run and I want to make sure they all know that. I may be the SouthEast Person of Leather but all these people helped me become that and they will continue to help me be the representative that the SouthEast deserves.
I would be remiss if I did not also mention others who made this weekend possible in so many other ways: Tris, my handler, was my individual support system without which LOTS of the things I accomplished would not have been possible. Dye Addict Rope, Too Hot to Handle Candles, Dungeon in a Bag, SassyV, RSVP Baton Rouge, Stick, Dakota, Max, Sir Andrew, the Charlotte Tradesmen, and BitchyBibs helped me create incredible auction baskets. Many more people than I can name bought raffle tickets to support the travel fund for the titleholders. Old friends and new gave me encouragement throughout the weekend when I felt like I wasn’t sure I was doing the right things. The smiles, the conversations, the pictures, the laughter, the “you got this” all meant more to me than I can say in a few words. Thank you to everyone who took even a moment to let me know that you saw me, you supported me, and you were proud of me.
I look forward to seeing you all this year as I make my way across the SouthEast and the nation. My hope is that you are proud of the representation I will provide and that you will tell me if you need something of me. I’ll see you all online and in-person so please say hi, I love hugs with consent, and I’m always up for a conversation.
Love you all,
girl Bettie
Oct 2025 Column
10/1/25
SouthEast Person of Leather – girl Bettie
Hello everyone! This first quarter as your SouthEast Person of Leather has been an exciting and beautiful experience. I’ve spent some time in the southeast and some time out in some other regions teaching, volunteering, and spending good time with good people.
My year started with my leather club’s run: Stars & Stripes 34. The Tarheel Leather Club throws a heck of a party every year and this year was no exception. We had people from Maryland, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, and beyond. We had a “RAWR”in’ good time at the cigar social on Friday night punctuated with unauthorized water play. The North Carolina Bootblack Contest made the big announcement that they are now the Carolinas’ Bootblack Contest, and we patched in the final North Carolina Bootblack, Lady Abrams. The SELF title family threw the award-winning cocktail party with appropriate amounts of shenanigans and the birth of the “backpatch” picture that I’ve kept up with so far this year. I had such a good time with all my people and I’m excited to be the Vice President for the Tarheel Leather Club for the next year. I’m already busy planning for the run next year.
August brought several trips around the southeast for education and fun. Charlotte Tradesmen barbeque for the House of Mercy brought us together to serve our larger community and connect with each other. Bar night at the Woodshed in Charlotte, NC, continued the camaraderie with jello shots, dancing, connecting with curious newbies, and laughing at our shared histories. Next, I was off to Nashville to spend a weekend with some of my favorite people and have some fun. Brunch, Spirit of
Halloween, cutting, impact play, and an in-depth conversation about switches all happened in one day, and I was there for two and a half days. It was such a great way to celebrate starting my title year. Lastly, in August, I went out to Jacksonville, NC, to present for Coming Together, organized by our very own SouthEast Master and slave, Master Aaron and slave jennie. It was good to go back to my old stomping grounds and teach a class that I’ve taught so many times. I really enjoyed being “home”.
September was a whirlwind month that brought my first ever multi-weekend, cross country trip. I flew out to Colorado Springs, Colorado, and spent the weekend at High Elevation Colorado Kink. Your SEPoL taught two classes, participated in discussions, and helped set up for lunch. But, more than that, I met another incredible community of people that felt very familiar. I was welcomed, given good advice about being at such a high elevation, and had people consistently checking in on me. I was traveling alone, staying alone, and walking to and from the event each day alone. It was exhilarating to be able to do it on my own but I never felt solitary. They sashed the new Rocky Mountain Person of Leather, Aylin, and I am so happy to have her join the PoL family with me. I look forward to seeing
her soon. I was embraced as a leather person from the moment I stepped on site, and I was sad to leave my new friends at the end of the weekend. I hope I was able to give them as much as they gave me and I fully intend to return when I can. Thank you Colorado!!
After the weekend, I stayed in the area and worked remotely for a few days before starting my journey to Kansas City, Missouri, for Midwest Leather Kink Alliance. I learned that Kansas really is as flat as they say and windmills are MUCH bigger than I thought they were. The 2025 SouthEast Bootblack, Koda Bootblack, and Mr. SELF 2022-2023, Max, joined me on this trip and it was so good to have their presence as an anchor. MWLKA was a great weekend of great education, auctions, cigars, and Dutch Bros. coffee. The contestants ran with honor and vulnerability, showing their true hearts and commitment to the community. The new Midwest Master and slave, Master Lucian and slave Celina Raven, and the new Midwest Person of Leather, Daddy Shay Raven, were absolutely glowing in all their after-contest pictures and
stayed up way too late Saturday night coming down off their high. I spent a lot of time with people I met at SELF and during my travels. Lots of conversations about our similarities, our differences, the community, and our hopes reassured me that we are on the right track and moving in the right direction. INSERT OCTOBER COLUMN PIC 4 HERE
I came home from my trip with my cup overflowing and lots of things to process and ponder. I’m still working on that and we’ll see how it all comes together. But rest assured, I am taking your southeast spark with me everywhere I go and building those flames!
Dec 2025 Column
Hey there, everybody, it's your girl Bettie! In the past couple months I haven't been traveling as much as I did in my first quarter as a title holder. I had a lot of work stuff come up as well as some family stuff and so I've been keeping a little closer to home. I also felt like I needed to spend some time in the SouthEast, spend some time with the region, the people and just the groups that I call home.
The first weekend in November, I went back to Nashville, Tennessee, and I presented a class for the group Nashville Hot Leather. It was a different type of class for me, it was a class about leather houses versus leather families, and what the difference is. We had an amazing conversation within the group, just about what we had seen in the community, things that we had been told, things that we had experienced, and how maybe we can shift some of those understandings to better represent what we actually do as houses and/or families in the community. I was also able to talk a little bit about being a title holder and running for a title, and it was really nice to be able to share my experiences with people. Being a title holder or even just being a part of a contest is a really unique experience and if you've never done it before, it's definitely got some things that you would never expect.
After the class, I stayed with a friend of mine, and we had an awesome, connective evening at the house with a group of friends. We had good food. We had good conversation. We told stories and, yeah, it was just amazing. So, Nashville was such a great weekend.
For the rest of November, I stayed at home. I had some unexpected financial things come up, and so unfortunately, I was unable to make it to an event that I was really looking forward to, but that's life and it happens even when you’re a titleholder. Thanksgiving I spent with my leather house in Florida, Casa de la Unicorn. It was such a fun weekend. We did something different, we didn't do like the normal turkey and fixings kind of stuff. We did a seafood boil with mussels and shrimp and crab legs and corn! It was unique for me and just a good way to spend a holiday with chosen family and have some time away from the stresses of life.
The first weekend in December, I got to go all the way to RSVP in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I love going to RSVP. I have been there several times over the years that I have been holding title and working for SELF and being involved in the leather community. I always have a good time in Louisiana. I have amazing friends there that host me every time I go, take me to eat authentic Louisiana food because, come on, how can you go to Louisiana and not eat authentic Louisiana food? I did two classes at RSVP: I did my Roleplay 101 class, which is a hoot! If you've never taken it, I really hope you get to be there someday because it is so much fun. We laughed and talked through different roleplay scenarios and gave tips and tricks on how to do roleplay better. My favorite part of that class is the audience participation, because I split the class up into groups, and then each group has to come up with their own roleplay based on an implement or a type of play. And I just love the creativity that comes out of this class. I love hearing the stories and the backstories and different settings and the different combinations of roles and it's always so much fun. I always get at least one really good idea from the group.
The second class I did there is called Taboo Topics in Roleplay, and that one is a little more serious. It talks about the underlying responsibilities as far as safety, communication, and negotiation when you decide to stray into the taboo topics in a roleplay scene. Really, really good conversation. People opened up about their thoughts in this realm, we talked about consent and negotiation, and trauma, and just really amazing way to create a safe space for people to talk about things that maybe they don't necessarily feel comfortable talking about in other spaces.
Again, the group was so engaged. The group was so with me through the whole presentation, which is rare. If you are a presenter, you know, it's rare to keep your whole class with you the entire time, but I don't think there was a single person not completely zoned in on the conversations we were having. The party afterwards was in full swing within like 5 minutes of the end of the class. It was so exciting to see people jump right into doing all the fun things that we love to do. I felt so welcome. I felt such a great, almost semi-homecoming, and I really can't thank RSVP enough for, again, letting me come down and allowing me some time in their space.
Coming up in the future, I've got one big trip per month in the first quarter of the year, but the other big thing I'm working on is getting ready for that International Person of Leather competition. For those of you that don't know, it happens in March at South Plains Leatherfest, which is in Dallas, Texas. I will be working on creating all my contest pieces so that I can represent our region to the best of my ability. I'm super excited about the pieces that I'm already putting together and I can't wait to share with you all what I'm coming up with and how I'm going to really show the spark in the southeast. I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone as I keep traveling. Please feel free to reach out to me if you want me to come to your group if you want me to do a virtual class or even if you just want me to come and hang out, I don't always have to teach or volunteer. I can just come and hang out and have a good time because everybody needs to stop and have a good time every once in a while.
I love you all, and I will talk with you again soon!
Feb 2026 Column
Hello SouthEast! It’s your girl Bettie. The last few months have been cold so I’ve spent a lot of time indoors but I’m out and about again. The holidays were spent with chosen family and bio family in Florida, Virginia, and North Carolina. I had a birthday in December and now I’m in my 44th year of life. I have been reflecting a lot on those 44 years and I’ve had some realizations that I’d like to share with you all.
1. I am happier with my life now than I ever have been. I have surrounded myself with people that love, support, and challenge me. Between my mother, sister, niece, leather family, leather house, leather club, and far-flung friends and chosen family nationwide, I have one of the best support systems around. Even with all these people in my life, I am always willing to include more people in my circle. I’m excited to see who I will meet as I continue on my journey.
2. Service, more specifically community service, makes me happy and fills my cup. I have had a wonderful time traveling, teaching, volunteering, and socializing within our community and my cup is very full. Thank you for letting me serve the community in the capacity that I can. I am truly grateful for the trust you’ve placed in me and I will continue to serve as long as you’ll let me.
3. I am still learning about myself as a leather person but also as an s-type person. My own evolution over the years has been full of learning, trying, backing up, moving forward, changing direction, and, sometimes, standing still. I’ve been spending time in s-type spaces and with trusted s-type people. I’m learning about the evolution of the s-type role within our community and how I fit into that role. I want to explore more as I move along my path and I hope you will be willing to share your time, energy, and knowledge with me.
I was able to spend some time with PALS in Pensacola, FL, at the end of December. The presentation I gave was the first class I ever created for the community 19 years ago: Domestic Violence and BDSM - NOT what it is that we do. It is an important, but tough, topic, and I was honored and humbled that PALS trusted me to lead that discussion. We had a wonderful conversation, asked tough questions, and shared stories in a safe space. Afterward, the amazing owner of Indulgent Images took some incredible pictures of me. Her art is expressive and she captured me in a way I haven’t seen before.
I’ve also been getting ready to compete for the International Person of Leather contest at SouthPlains LeatherFest in Dallas, TX, March 19th - 22th. My application is in, my contestant fee is paid, and the first contestant meeting allowed me to meet my fellow IPOL contestants from around the nation. There are 5 of us running for the International title from the NorthWest, MidWest, Rocky Mountains, NorthEast, and, yours truly, from the SouthEast. We are all unique to our regions and represent a vast diversity within our community. We are already keeping up with each other on social media and supporting each other in our preparations and final events before we all meet up in Dallas. I’m so excited to see us all together and have the opportunity to show off the best of our community.
If you are going to Dallas for SouthPlains LeatherFest, please find me and say hello. I will be busy but I want to spend time with as many of you as I can. There will be parties, shows, dungeons, classes, and a rockin’ contest. I am hoping to make all of you very proud!
In the next couple of weeks I’ll be at LLC in Los Angeles, teaching two classes and enjoying some learning of my own. I look forward to fellowship, fun, and finding connections. If you’re there, please come hang out with me!
I’ll see you all soon. Let me know what, if anything, you need from me in the meantime.
March 2026 Column
I am driving home from SouthPlains LeatherFest where I competed for the International Person of Leather title. As I prepared for the weekend, I tried to make sure that I was bringing all of the support and love from our SouthEast region with me. I took my Disney dresses, my fun makeup, my platform shoes, and my flip flops, of course!
But I also took our care, our compassion, our welcome, and our love. Those were the things I really wanted people to see and feel from me. I wanted to be an authentic representative of what we have to offer the world. I am most proud of that about our region and what I was most excited to put out in the world.
It was an amazing and climactic finish to an incredible title year. I have been so honored and humbled to carry our values around the country with me as I’ve traveled this year. From Colorado to Kansas City to Los Angeles to Dallas, people felt our warmth, our welcome, and our care for others. I call that a successful title year.
The time I spent in the southeast this year filled my cup with all the love, care, and warmth so I could keep sending it out to the world. Thank you for filling my cup and keeping a steady supply of refills at the ready.
I am looking forward to seeing all of you very soon in Atlanta. It’s almost time to say goodbye to this chapter and start the next. I hope you all continue to show welcome, find meaning, and build flames.
Love Always,
girl Bettie