The phone call itself wasn't a surprise. I've known Lady Catherine Gross for years, so seeing her name come up on my phone isn't unusual. We have shared conversations, events, community, and friendship over the years. So when Catherine called, I answered without giving much thought to what the conversation might be about. The topic, however, was very much a surprise. She was calling to ask if I would serve as a Surprise Judge at SouthEast LeatherFest.

Being invited to judge at SELF was, and remains, a humbling honor. To be trusted with the responsibility of evaluating people who have chosen to put themselves forward to represent our community is something I take seriously. I was excited to accept, but beneath that excitement was a deep sense of responsibility. And, of course, once I said yes, I started planning.

Coming to Judge As I prepared for SELF, I found myself thinking less about judging the contestants and more about wanting them to succeed. Each of them had made the decision to step forward and put themselves out there, and I wanted to see each of them bring their best to the experience. That didn't mean avoiding difficult judgments. It meant approaching the process with respect, honesty, and the genuine hope that every contestant would do well. I was also looking forward to the opportunity to spend time with people I respect and genuinely enjoy being around. The judging panel brought together people with whom I have shared community and friendship, and I was excited about the chance to spend that time together. SELF made that surprisingly easy. We were given a schedule, brought together for a meeting and orientation, and given a clear understanding of where we needed to be and when. Having that structure meant I could focus on the experience rather than worrying about logistics. It also gave us opportunities to spend time together outside of the actual judging.

I particularly enjoyed getting to know the other judges better. Master Velvet, the 2025 International Person of Leather and our Head Judge, and Master Trent, with his work producing the Southwest Master/slave Contest, brought perspectives I deeply respected. Master slave Jenna gave me the pleasure of sharing small moments with someone from my own region and someone who has contributed so much to the NorthEast M/s and MsC communities. Conversations with Phobos Onyx gave me another perspective on Leather, while Madam Brianna Bunni and I talked about Leather and kink communities and the qualities that matter in those who take on titles. These conversations, sometimes brief and sometimes more involved, were among the parts of the weekend I valued most. And that extended to the contestants as well. Some of the most valuable interactions weren't necessarily the formal judging moments. They happened in hallways, social spaces, between classes, and in the ordinary moments that make up a weekend like SELF. I could interact with the contestants as people rather than simply as competitors.

I attended classes, spent time in the social spaces, and got to see more of who they were outside the specific moments in which I would eventually be evaluating them.

Puddles, the Bootblack contestant, was one of those interactions that stayed with me. We had the opportunity to talk about her journey—how she had found Leather, what it had come to mean to her, and why she wanted to step into a title. What struck me was her desire not simply to earn a title, but to use the opportunity to teach while continuing to learn herself. There was a genuine sense of curiosity and growth in the way she talked about her journey and what she hoped to bring to the community. Those conversations reminded me that behind every contestant is a much larger story than what we see on a stage. A contest may give us a few structured opportunities to evaluate someone, but getting to know them even a little gives those moments context.

Mr. SELF, Papa Jeff Tanglewood, also managed to discover something about me pretty quickly: my love of cooking and formal events. We found ourselves having several conversations during the meet and greet and throughout the weekend about food, cooking, and culinary experiences. Those weren't conversations about the contest at all, and that's exactly what made them memorable. They were simply two people finding a point of connection and enjoying a conversation. Those moments were important to me. They reinforced that the people I was meeting weren't simply contestants whose performances I needed to evaluate. They were people with histories, interests, passions, and aspirations. The more I got to know them, the more I appreciated the courage it took for each of them to put themselves forward.

The Weight of a Title A title is much more than a sash, a piece of leather, or a moment on a stage. A title opens doors. For those who earn one, new opportunities can emerge to teach, to speak, to travel, to build relationships, and to have their voices heard in ways they may not have been heard before. A titleholder is given an opportunity to represent a community, but they are also given a platform from which they can contribute to it. That carries weight. The respect that comes with a title is not simply recognition of what someone has already accomplished. It is also an expression of trust in what they may contribute moving forward. Titleholders have opportunities to influence, educate, and help shape our community. That is why choosing a titleholder matters. It isn't simply about who performed best in a contest. It is about who we believe is prepared to walk through those open doors and use the opportunities that come with them well. By the time we reached the stage, I wasn't judging people I had only seen for a few minutes. I had shared space with them, listened to them, watched them interact with others, and had the opportunity to see different facets of who they were. Then came the stage. There is something different about watching someone step into that space in front of a room full of people. The preparation, nerves, confidence, uncertainty, and vulnerability all become visible. It is one thing to say that someone has chosen to put themselves forward; it is another to watch them actually do it.

Stepping Outside the Safe Zone There is something important about simply choosing to step forward. Putting yourself in a position to be judged by others requires vulnerability. It means moving outside of what is comfortable and familiar and allowing people to see parts of you that you might otherwise keep safely within yourself. Every contestant had made that choice. Regardless of the outcome, there is value in having the courage to put yourself out there, to be seen, to be challenged, and to discover what you are capable of when you step beyond your safe zone. I have tremendous respect for anyone willing to take that risk. The weekend itself also gave me opportunities to participate in the broader experience of SELF. The live auction was one of those moments. I ended up purchasing one of the Leather Master shirts for a friend. It was a small thing in the context of the weekend, but it was also part of what made SELF feel like a community rather than simply a contest. There was learning, socializing, competition, fundraising, celebration, and connection happening alongside one another. That is part of what makes a weekend like SELF special. CD

The Honor of Being Trusted When I look back on my experience as a Surprise Judge, what stays with me most is the privilege of having been trusted with the responsibility. I was honored to sit alongside people I respect, to get to know some of them better, to spend time with contestants beyond the formal judging process, and to have a voice in a decision that could open new doors for someone in our community. I went to SELF expecting to judge a contest. I came away with a much greater appreciation for what it means to ask someone to step forward, accept a title, and take on the responsibility that comes with it. For that opportunity, I remain deeply grateful. Being selected was an honor and a privilege, and one I will carry with me long after the weekend itself has passed.

In Leather, Stephan

Exhilarating: causing strong feelings of happy excitement and elation- Merriam-Webster dictionary. I would utilize this specific word to summarize my experience as the 2025 SELF surprise judge. Being involved in our diverse community provides various different opportunities to give back and serve the community that serves you, but one of the opportunities I had yet to experience until SELF was to be a judge. I was welcomed with open arms by not only the SELF operations team, but also the selected judging panel, understanding that while I have my own experiences and additions to add to the table, I was very new to being on the other side of the judging table. What I loved most from this experience was I got to see pure growth, from beginning to end, of both contestants and of us as judges which was truly beautiful to see. SELFs surprise judge is a special opportunity like no other that I have seen at events. My experience, memories and kinship will stay with me forever. I am beyond grateful for this opportunity and I implore those who are looking to try something new to apply because you just never quite know if you’ll get that phone call.

celina Raven

This was my first year at SELF and my intro into the leather community. I was impressed with the hard work of everyone involved in the contests, judges and contestants included. The judges communicated well and worked as a team. I felt that those who won, did so because of the effort they put into their campaigns. I found judging to be a great learning experience.

My time as SELF 2023 surprise judge was an experience I will never forget.

This would be my 6th year at SELF and just like every prior year I walked away with more appreciation, respect, and love for this event.

The peak around the curtain into the contest life, journey, and heart is one that all should admire and applaud.

My fellow judges had beautifully long decorated resumes in the Leather Community that were reflected in their questioning, commentary, and advice. What was I to add to such an elite group of such prestigious judges?

I presume fresh and unbiased opinions are extremely valuable in their own way but it really began to hit home once I began reading the bios of the contestants and learning that some of the contestants were as new to Leather competitions as well. This reminded me that SELF is for everyone regardless of time in the community or experience and with that I gave my all to the experience and learning opportunity that was judging a Leather competition.

First I was astounded by the amount of "pre-work" done by contestants and SELF months and months ahead of the conference just to prepare. After learning this and going to the various other judging meetings and events I have a huge respect for contestants because it is not easy and possibly not even all that fun running for a title. It's a lot of hard work; mentally emotionally and physically to compete in SELF Leather title.

My favorite part was seeing all that hard pay off in their speeches, performances, and, of course, winning the title.

I learned, I loved, and grew so much from this experience and I thank Catherine Gross from the bottom of my heart for gifting me such a lucky experience.

Being the surprise judge was an interesting and thought provoking experience. I've attended Leather events for years but mostly skipped out on title competitions. My fear was that the competition was a popularity contest like Prom Queen and King, and I had never been one of the popular kids. 
Reading the submissions the contestants wrote before hand on why running for the titles at SELF where important to them made me begin to reconsider my views. During the interview process I was again forced to look at my own preconceived notions around what a title was all about. Some of my co-Judges asked questions I never even would have considered. They asked things that helped me build stronger community ties to many of them and with the contestants. 
I want these connections to members of my community. I want to help raise funds for people to be able to travel and share their Leather experiences and make Leather something people can find, participate in safely and take comfort in knowing they are not alone. 
For the most part being a surprise judge was fun, but it was also hard. It does require a time commitment and gave me reason for a lot of introspection. I am glad I did it and I think anyone who has interest in what Leather titles are all about should throw their name in the hat and see if they get selected as a surprise judge! 

I had always wanted to attend SELF.  I heard amazing things about the event, the classes, contest, and producer – and wanted to see for myself if things were as good as I heard (the movie rarely holds up to the book after all).

Being a first time attendee to the event, I was nervous.  I’ve been to a bunch of events, but this was the first event in my new home area.  It was an opportunity for me to meet people, socialize, in addition to see what the hype was about.  Imagine my surprise when I got a call from the producer asking me to be SELF’s “Surprise Judge”!  Imagine my further surprise when a few judges were friends of mine from out of town! 

Upon arriving at SELF, I had an opportunity to meet the producer, Catherine Gross.  Catherine was lovely, engaging, and humorous.  She provided information as to how the event worked, the reason why judging was different at SELF versus other events, and how she viewed the importance of what we would be doing for the region and for her event.  I was impressed, and the level of detail and expectations that she has of her staff showed through in this initial meeting.

Over the next three days (starting at the meet and greet, ending at the luncheon), I was absolutely blown away at every interaction.  Every time I was in the social area downstairs, people were huddled around talking as if it was their living room.  Each hospitality event had individuals who seemed to be in the room just to make introductions.  Every class I attended was well delivered by an expert presenter – and some presenters stepped up at the last minute to fill in!  The Saturday luncheon speakers?  There are no words to describe how touched I was by people sharing their life experiences, and how much I cried upon hearing some of their stories.   

Saturday evenings extravaganza of the contest was an experience.  The clothes were amazing, the energy was incredible and the MC was phenomenal (an impromptu bidding war over the producer was certainly a fun addition….)!    The speeches and fantasies absolutely blew me away.

That all said, I was in attendance to judge.  It was a challenging job, and more so for the contestants than for the judges.  I was impressed by each and every contestant who chose to put themselves out, show their vulnerability, and allow themselves to be on display for the weekend.  It is not an easy thing to do, and I wish the titleholders the best throughout the remainder of the year.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to participate in such a critical role for SELF.  I enjoyed my first experience at the event, and understand why people refer to it as ‘coming home’.  I look forward to learning more about the community in the SouthEast and making it my home moving forward.

In Leather,
Tris
Washington State Ms. Leather 2014

Dragon was raised by his WWII fighter-pilot father with many of the principles that would shape the Leather movement, but is a relative newcomer to the Lifestyle where he was happy to find there was a community and word for those who share his core beliefs. He has been slowly building his poly Leather household, Caer na’Drac, in the Northwest Georgia hills near Chattanooga. He is a proponent of the idea of the mission-driven Household and has taken the lessons learned from decades as a teacher in the neo-Pagan community together with his love of history to create a Neo-Edwardian model for his House, rather like a kinky Downton Abbey.  He is currently attending Adler University with the openly declared purpose of using his Master’s in Industrial and Organizational Psychology to help him be a better administrator for a future shelter for victims of domestic abuse in the BDSM lifestyle.

2015
slave krissy

In June 2015, I was able to attend the SouthEast LeatherFest for the first time. I have wanted to attend for several years but life tossed road blocks until this year when I was fortunate to be awarded a scholarship and to my great surprise, I won the draw to be a surprise judge.

I was going to this event, my first Con, my first Leather event and my first time as a judge, alone, as an unpartnered slave, which for me was a bit frightening. I had been in service for many years and looked to Master for directives or guidance, reassurance or praise. None of that was going to be forthcoming from anyone; I was navigating the event alone. So I took a deep breath and stepped forward.

The event itself was well organized, being in its 20th year, most of the ‘kinks’ had been worked out, however the kinks that I enjoy were there and in full force!
Everyone was extremely welcoming and friendly. I met many new people and reconnected with many whom I had not seen in years. Of course the classes were top notch; I was only able to attend a few classes but made an effort to learn new ways to tackle M/s issues to bring back to my MAsT Chapter in Nashville.

What can I say about the presenters? Outstanding is the first word that comes to mind along with engaging, intelligent, humorous and able to speak on their chosen topics with complete authority. These were not 101 level classes. Thank the Gods!

I was impressed with the kindness shown towards me as an unknown person on the judging panel. The other judges didn’t know me at all. My personal history is not glamorous. I prefer to work and lead from behind, proudly working with MAsT: Nashville as a board member and have found that to be an enriching, difficult and worthwhile endeavor. I also did some community service work in an effort to give back, and continually try to learn from anyone who cares to teach me. I do not have a history within the Leather Community, the Leather folks in my area tend to stay out of the public eye, although they are there and I have been fortunate to know a few well. 

I think the biggest take away I had was that the people I met, who were representatives of Leather, were serious, thoughtful, polite, not accepting of any bullshit or drama and had high standards. There was a current of honorability and responsibility within them and certainly those traits were being looked for within the contestants. Intelligence and grace under pressure, standing up in front of a panel of judges and then speaking to a room full of Leather folks, is just a mite intimidating. It was a good trial run for what a titleholder will face when out on the road taking care of the required duties.

Despite all the formality and the pressure, there were many moments of fun, smiles and chocolate. Did I forget to mention the HAWTNESS of the leather? Oh my, being surrounded by so much history, elegance, and Dominance made this girl swoon. There is nothing like a Master in full formal leathers to bring out the service and submissive elements within me. Watching seamless acts of service happening around me was inspiring and beautiful. Despite being without a person to serve at this event, in retrospect, I realize I was actually in service to SELF, which was quite an honor for this grateful slave.

Thank you for the opportunity.
Congratulations to the 2015 Title Holders!
Slave krisssy

In 2009, he was a founding member of the Legion of Sin Motorcycle Club, the only LGBT Non-Gender Orientation specific MC in California, holding the position of Vice-President until November 2013 and now currently Treasurer.

He believes that he is evolving into the Master that he wants to be. He is the Founding Director of MAsT- Livermore Valley , Founder and Host of the Tri-Valley and Beyond Kinky Brunch Munch, sits on the Board of Directors for the SF Leather Alliance, and hosts the Bear’s Lair BDSM Parties in Livermore.