January 26-28, 2024 - Dublin Leather Weekend
February 17-18, 2024 - The Red Chair's Annual Fetish Ball - Leather & Lace 
March 8-10, 2024 - Leather Leadership Conference 
March 21-24, 2024 – South Plains LeatherFest  
April 11-14, 2024 - IMsL/IMsLBB  
April 19-20, 2024 - Tarheels Anniversary Picnic
May 2-5, 2024 - Northwest Leather Celebration  
May 9-12, 2024 - Frolicon 
June 13-16, 2024 – SouthEast LeatherFest 

Winning the title of Ms SELF has been a completely surreal experience. Leading up to the final announcement, there were clearly moments that I thought that I was done for; especially when trying to walk off in the middle of my speech somehow became a thing.  Thank you, Dave, for not letting me leave the stage and for everyone who was in the audience that night for encouraging me to keep going. 

I very much come with my heart on my sleeve, it is all I know how to do, thank you all for seeing that and for caring for me in that moment. I don’t think I would have made it through without a reminder of why I was there in the first place, all of you. 

I look forward to and could not be more excited to meet more of you as a travel to different events this year.  If you see me somewhere, talk to me.   If you want to message me, message me.  If you want me to teach something I don’t already, ask me and I’ll see about adding it in the future. If you want me to travel somewhere, reach out and I will see if I can make it happen.

One of my favorite parts of my leather journey has been hearing everyone’s stories and getting the opportunity to learn things that I don’t know. I will admit there are still many.

While on this part of my journey, I have learned a lot about myself. Being an introvert isn’t necessarily a weakness. I learned despite being socially conscious, there were many social justice issues that I didn’t realize were a thing (educating myself is important). There were way more people who supported this part of my evolution than I thought. 

Thank you for supporting this step of my journey. There are so many people to thank in so many different ways that I wasn’t even 100% sure where to begin.  I am hoping I remembered to thank everyone, but my apologies if I missed you by name.  I am grateful for every single one of you that helped me along the way. Please check out my FetLife post here (https://fetlife.com/users/1915561/posts/9654942) to see more details about each of the folks that I thanked.  The brief version (in no particular order), my thanks to the board, staff & volunteers of SELF, BeiLi, Crystal, Dorie’s Designs, Dye Addict Rope, Foxy Fiesty Redhead, Knottie Kittie Rope, Master Cecil, Master Varii & slave neill, Miss Bettie, Mycaylne & Sir Thomas, Samsgem, Sir Edgar & slave raven, The Dungeon Store and Wykedlilpixie, MiaRose, Andy, Tidbit, rainbower, Luna, Captain Lyte, Mara, the judges and Daddy.

Adventures in Titleholding

Being a titleholder has definitely changed me for the better. It has pushed me out of my introverted little shell. It has been amazing to see how willing people are to come up to a relative stranger at a leather bar or event and just talk to them. I have truly enjoyed getting to hear the stories that they are willing to share.

During the few months that I have been your Ms. SELF, I have been attending local events, online classes, conferences and most recently Atlanta Pride. I’ve been to New Orleans, Shreveport, Baton Rouge, Washington DC, Philadelphia and Atlanta. I’ve taught online classes for a couple of different MAsT chapters, been hanging out with The Woodshed and H.E.A.R.D. for their online munches, joining the Leather Chronicles talk to help educate myself and been applying to teach for various events over the course of the next year.

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My first “big” conference after SELF was getting to attend MsC for the very first time. There were so many memorable little moments. I turned a couple of heads by wearing boots, guess seeing me without heels was as startling as I thought, lol. I got those boots blacked with Beast, who expects the head judge to be in the bootblack stand. Meeting Ma Vi for the first time was an experience, I have had the privilege to hear her tell stories online but had never met her personally before. I ran into folks I hadn’t seen in years, all of whom seemed to know I was leather before I had even realized it myself. So many amazing classes and so many amazing people.

In my local community, here in the bible belt, I am helping the local LGBTIQA+ bar owner to help make leather a part of what is celebrated there. The first installment of this was a leather and kink themed drag show, featuring the current Miss Gay Louisiana America and well of course yours truly (talk about jumping from stage fright into the spotlight). We figured a demo and “dress up” opportunity would be a gentle way to get people to start to open up. On a side note, ever want to stop a room full of drag queens, tell them that you don’t know how to contour.

If there is someplace you want me to come, please reach out and I will do my best to try and coordinate something.

I’m so proud to be your Ms SELF!

The past 8 months have been a completely surreal experience. Going places and talking to folks who I thought would have never talked to me before has been incredible. Teaching and getting to share parts of my life that are so personal has been difficult but at the same time a blessing in so many ways. Sharing with all of you has been the best part of this experience.

I started out my year with a bang, teaching in basically my own backyard for the wonderful folks at Vision. They moved to a hotel for the first time this year, for their 5^th anniversary with some amazing classes. I look forward to watching them grow. In January, “vanilla” work gave me the opportunity to travel to Europe which just happened to coincide with Dublin Leather Weekend. I meet people I wouldn’t have otherwise had the chance and discussions on how some things in leather are very different in Europe and the US. I got to be there as they elected their very first Mr. Dublin Leather and appointed a new Puppy. I have learned that pups are a bundle of energy and so fun. I wish I got to experience more of that here at home. Also learned that trying to wrangle titleholders at midnight for a picture is one hell of an adventure, cause well we all get just a bit silly at that point and others just wander off completely if you take too long to get the shot.

Making the decisions on where to go and what to do have been some of the hardest parts of this year. We want to try to participate in everything and well we don’t have clones or unlimited bank accounts so unfortunately choices and sacrifices are always involved. I try to participate in as much online as I can. Also getting ready for a whirlwind of travel over the next few months that will include LLC, SPLF, IMsLBB, Tarheels Anniversary, NWLC, and Frolicon, all before I stepdown at SELF in June. (Please reach out if you want to buy a pin or contribute to the costs over the next few months). If there is someplace you still want me to come, please reach out and I will do my best to try and coordinate something whether it is while I am still in title or after. I want to get to interact with as many of you that want too.

SELF this year promises to be its own whirlwind of emotions and activity. I am however excited to be back home with the people I call my “family”. You have all helped show me just what I was truly capable of and who I could be even though I was scared beyond words when I started this journey. I can’t wait to share laughter and even tears with you all again this year.

 

 

Hello everyone,

I am excited to represent the South East as Mr. SELF for another year. I had a blast at SELF this year connecting with new people and reconnecting with old friends. I had the pleasure of teaching this year, and I am so happy with the turnout. Thank you so much to everyone who stopped by. I cannot wait to start this title year and meet more people in our community.

Thank you to everyone who talked with me at SELF. It was a pleasure to get to know you and your stories.

Thank you to all the SELF staff and volunteers. Without you, we wouldn't have a home to come back to. Your contributions are not overlooked and are greatly appreciated.

Thank you to Lady Catherine for inviting me to represent the South East for another year and for all the guidance you have given me within the past year.

Thank you to all my sash siblings, Apollo, Master Vari and Slave Niel, and Mia Rose, for being there for each other through this journey.

I also want to say congratulations to Ms. SELF 2023, Scarlett, and SELF Person of Leather 2023, Mara, and give you all a big welcome into the sash family. I cannot wait to see what you do this year!

If you see me around, please stop by and say hello! And don't be afraid to reach out through my social media.

Max

Hello all! I know I have been fairly quiet lately, but I've had many big life changes happen recently and needed to take time for myself. Its been a rough few months and I've had to relearn to take time for myself to process emotions and slow down.

I did attend a few events in the past few months. I went to LHPW in November and had a great time! I loved being able to listen to Dave Rhodes and how much he has contributed to the community, making sure it stays alive. I also sat and listened in to our very own Master Varii tell her journey.

In December, I had a very lovely time at the Tarheel Leather Club holiday party. Coming together to exchange gifts and share a meal with chosen family was just what I needed.

In January, my partner Dakota and I went to the Charlotte Area Games Etc (CAGE) munch where we were able to hold a discussion about disability in kink. It was a fabulous time and met many new people!

With the beginning to a new year I am looking forward to new possibilities and new adventures to come.

It has been a wonderful 2 years! I am so thankful that I have been able to hold so many conversations and connect with so many of you. You all made my title years so much fun.

My main focus in these two years was to start conversations and encourage learning between the generations. Through numerous events, I was lucky enough to be able to teach and sit in on some amazing classes. Getting to see so many wonderful points of view on ways to make ourselves and our community better. Also at these events, getting to make some lifelong friends and connections. With some of these events being as far as Chicago on an international stage all the way down to Dallas and seeing all the workings of M/s dynamics as well as being welcomed into the conversations that were had about being a non-gender conforming Leather folk.

Some of my most fondest memories made were on smoking decks, bootblack stands, and sharing meals with so many different leatherfolk. Getting to hear their stories and how the leather world is different from where they are from and trading ways of making the community better. From all the conversations I feel that the community wants the best for the next generation coming along. And with us putting the right stepping stones in place we should be able to do this. Evolving, learning, and teaching each other is the steps we need to put in place. And with some of these amazing events whether it be a big convention or a simple munch, this is the best way to spread knowledge.

I owe a huge thank you to the Tradesmen of Charlotte, Red Lions of Raleigh, Tarheel Leather Club of Greensboro, Talon Clan of Greensboro, Leather History and Preservation Weekend, Leather Leadership Conference, Coastal Carolina Fetish Fair, MAST Chapter of Jacksonville, NC, IML, Ritual Steel, Leather Archives and Museum, the Charlotte Area Games Etc (CAGE), CAPEX, South Plains Leatherfest, Frolicon, Trademark, House of Mercy, Kink U, Red Lions Teddy Bear Auction, Charlotte Pride, Winston Salem Pride, Greensboro Pride, Atlanta Pride, and the Woodshed of Orlando. Last, but absolutely not least, a huge thank you to SELF and all of its staff.

To everyone that took time to share their story, ask how my year was going, attended any of my classes, and shared a smoke on the smoking deck, thank you for your time and the memories made. I very much look forward to hearing more stories and creating more memories in the future. For my title year may be coming to an end, but my journey to grow, learn, and evolve the community has just begun.

Words cannot express how I truly feel. I am so grateful for all the love and support I have received before, during, and after running for Mr SELF. So many emotions were had during the weekend; excitement, nervousness, relief, and being humbled by the amount of people that believe in my ideas. It was very emotional hearing people react to my speech and fantasy. Through the many people I talked to during the weekend, I learned a lot about what conversations need to be had and what our community has already started to talk about. I also learned how to start these conversations in hopes of promoting growth and how to make sure nobody is left out of these conversations. I know I still have a lot to learn when it comes to getting different generations of leather to talk to each other. Which is why I cannot wait to listen and learn as much as I can during my title year and spread the knowledge that I have gained with others in hopes of helping of making our community grow, evolve, and last for future generations.

First of all I would like to thank everyone at SELF who took time to say hello and show me their love and support throughout the weekend. I was truly amazed and humbled by having so much support.

I would also like to thank Lady Catherine, the board members, SELF staff, and volunteers for all their hard work and guidance that they provided. Everyone was a delight to work with and made the weekend flow so seamlessly.

Thank you to the Den Mafia, Andy and Jennifer, for being there through the whole weekend helping us with any immediate needs, emotional support, and helping us stay on top of what we needed to do.

Thank you to all of the SELF judges, Khalid El Bey, Kali Onyx, SwitchyButch, and WaywardSoul. Thank you for all of the knowledge you imparted upon me. You opened my eyes and made me realize that I still have much to learn about myself and about our community.

I want to say thank you to my local community for all of the help you provided in the weeks before SELF. I could not have done this without all your donations and support.

And last but not least, thank you Tidbit for being my coach and handler. I know you wanted to strangle me many times during the weekend….and in the weeks leading up to SELF, but I could not have done this without your help and guidance. I will always look back with a smile at all the shenanigans we got into.

Holy Cow! I did not realize three months could pass so fast! To say life has been a blur is an understatement. Things have not slowed down at all since SELF. But I am truly loving every minute of it. I have been able to catch up with some old friends and make many new ones so far.

In July I hit the ground running and was able to make it to every leather club bar night, which included the Tradesmen of Charlotte, the Red Lions of Raleigh, Tarheel Leather Club and Talon Clan, both in Greensboro. I got to meet Tradesmen Willie, the current Mr. NC Triad Leather title holder, and we have become fast friends. During these bar nights, it was nice to see how each club has its own way of doing things and hearing the ways that they plan to grow in the future. And I cannot say thank you enough to all of these clubs for making me feel so welcome and sharing their stories with me.

August was the month I had got to see more of the emotional side of what leather can be. I was fortunate enough to be invited to the House of Mercy annual cookout with the Tradesmen in which they were able to come together and supply meals, as well as make a donation to benefit the House of Mercy, a non-profit to help those living with HIV and/or AIDS with unmet needs through direct services as well as seeking ways to change an unjust system. Later that month I was able to make it to Ritual Steel in Orlando, where I was able to hang out with my Sash Sibling Apollo. For anyone that is ever interested in one of Ritual Steels events, all I can say is go. For me it is truly life changing to experience how energy can be exchanged through so many people. When I landed back home, I made a surprise trip to be in the Charlotte Pride Parade with Tradesmen Willie (Mr. NC Triad Leather) where I got to meet Mr. Fire Island Leather and Mr. Eagle NYC. This being the first pride I have ever marched in, I was overwhelmed by seeing so much love and support in one place.

In September, I attended Talon Clans 10th anniversary party with many of my chosen family and close friends. (They can throw one hell of a party.) A week later, leading up to the Tarheel Leather Club night, I was surprised and honored to receive my full membership patch of the Tarheel Leather Club. This was a step in my life that I have been looking forward to for so long. I am so lucky to be able to call this club my family. The following day I was able to join the Tarheel Leather Club in presenting the colors at Greensboro Pride. I was happy to see that Greensboro Pride was offering COVID and Monkey Pox vaccines, in which I was able to get my first round of the Monkey Pox vaccine. It was great seeing the community take care of the community. And then the following weekend I was able to attend the Leather Leadership Conference in Atlanta. A big thank you to Kinky Trivia for allowing me to ride to and from LLC with them as well as helping them put on a Kinky Trivia night at LLC. This was a great convention and it was reassuring to see and know that our community leaders are working together and trying to teach each other as well as the next generation of this community.

This next month will be a more relaxing month with only one event on the books, outside of my regular bar nights that is. I plan on doing a little self-care but I will be attending Leather Pride in Atlanta with Tradesmen Willie and a few others.

I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone that has taken time to say congratulations but more importantly to everyone that has checked in on me to make sure that I am doing okay and taking care of myself. Those reminders are greatly appreciated and very much needed. It is so easy to forget to take care of yourself with everything going on.

Wow I cannot believe how much I have learned so far. Through the numerous cons, bar nights, and hangouts, as well as getting to hear peoples’ classes, lectures, and stories I have been able to see where our community has come from and get a better idea of where it is headed. In a way I feel extremely lucky because I have got to see things go full circle in my short time as a titleholder. At leather history preservation weekend was one of these outstanding moments watching senior members of our community tell their stories of how they got started and how they got to where they are today, and seeing people just starting their journey listening to those stories. Also, at this event is where I got to hear something that I have now taken to heart from the keynote speaker, Lady D. “Each one, Teach one.”

From the beginning of October until now, things have slowed down some going into the holiday season. I was still fortunate enough to be able to go to the Fetish Friday event held at Castle McCulloch where I was stationed at the Tarheel Leather Clubs booth. I got to talk to and meet people that were interested in learning about leather culture.

In November I was able to go to Leather History Preservation Weekend where I helped Master Varii and slave Neil set up the leather quilt. Seeing the entire quilt together and hearing its history was quite emotional. Also, at this event I got to witness one of my dear friends Andy tell his story and receive a piece of gifted leather.

In December I went to Coastal Carolina Fetish Fair where I got to present three classes. One of which I was lucky enough to co-teach with my partner Dakota. This was a great event with many great instructors. I was also fortunate enough to share space with Master Varii and slave Neil. The following weekend I was able to go to the Red Lions Teddy Bear charity auction where I was able to donate a bear for the auction.

Being a titleholder is a lot more than I expected. Wearing your sash and vest gives people a reason to walk up and ask you questions. Through this process I have learned a lot more about myself and growing knowledge through teaching. I enjoy people walking up with their curiosity and getting to have so many different conversations. That is why I think running for a title is a great idea. It opens up people for a conversation. You get to look at the same situations from different perspectives and ultimately learn from each other. If I can say one thing as a titleholder, what I see as most important is to have those conversations. To learn, grow, and evolve from them. But also, one more thing to keep in mind if you do want to be a titleholder is that self-care is extremely important. It is impossible to pour from an empty cup.

I want to say a big Thank You to Castle McCulloch for providing a safe event for the Kink/Leather community. I also want to thank Tori and everyone else involved with LHPW. It is truly an awesome event, and I cannot wait to return. Thank you to CCFF and all those involved. Thank you for such a great time. I also want to give a big Thank You to Kinky Trivia for all the work they do for the community. If you have a chance to attend one of their events, I highly recommend it. Their games are so much fun, and you get to learn a lot as well. I also want to thank the Red Lions of Raleigh.

Since the last time I updated, I feel like I have finally been able to get back into the community by being able to do educational presentations at the MAST chapter of Jacksonville, NC and at Kink U in Raleigh, NC which was also streamed online. Kink U was an awesome experience as I was able to learn from other presenters from all over the country in seeing forms of kink and ways of looking at things from a completely different perspective.

I have also been fortunate enough to spend time with leather club members from other areas (Red Lions and Tradesmen). Being able to collaborate with different clubs to help the leather community grow has been exciting. Teaching others and learning from others is so important to help the leather community and its clubs last through the generations.

I have been able to participate in several charity events; the 8th anniversary of the Red Lions, the Blackheart Ball of the Tarheel Leather Club, and an event to help the Greensboro Pride raise funds for this years pride. I love seeing how much this community comes together to help others and I am so fortunate to be able to be part of that.

I would love to extend a giant thank you to everyone that has been so kind during this year. From the simple thing of checking in on me, to offering a place to stay during my travels. Also a big thank you to the other educators and presenters that I have met for showing me on how I can improve my way of teaching and presenting myself. Thank you to all the new friends I have made along the way for memories I will get to enjoy for a lifetime.

With spring being the season of new beginnings, I am excited to be going to several events in May that I have never been to before. The first of which being the Tradesmen Leather Club run in Augusta, and then later in the month I will be traveling to Chicago to attend the International Mr. Leather weekend. I am hoping during that weekend in Chicago that I have the opportunity to go to the Leather Archives and Museum. After that eventful weekend, I will be getting geared up to go back to my second home and chosen family, SELF. I cannot wait to welcome the contestants with open arms and see what they have to bring to the community.

It has been such an amazing journey this past year. It is extremely hard to put into words how much I have learned and grown. There will never be enough thank yous for everyone that has taken time to share their stories and knowledge with me. The Leather community truly is a family that takes care of its own and I cannot express how much I appreciate all the help and hospitality that I have received this year. I will never forget everyone who has helped me at events, invited me to said events, shared meals, and the vast amount of memories I have made with others. I am blessed to be in this community and know the people that I do, and I cannot wait to meet new people and make more friends. 

This year for me was all about bridging gaps between outlying communities. Whether it be age, race, gender, or sexuality. My goal is to make inclusivity more available in Leather spaces so we can join forces against those who do not support our community or our people. By simply having conversations and learning from each other, I believe we can fix a lot of these issues. It’s as simple as listening with an open heart and without preconceived notions. To first fix a problem, we must know what the problem is. Listening to the different points of view others have is the only way to learn.

This journey through the year has truly been an eye opener. Through this year the events I have attended I have learned that there are thousands of ways that leather can be done or perceived. There is no right or wrong way of doing things. But the one commonality is that we try to take care of each other. The leather lifestyle is a driving force behind many charitable and educational means for so many organizations. I believe that without the money raised and the education being taught we would be decades behind in HIV/AIDS and STI research and medications, taking the stigma away from therapy and mental health, and the research and funding for those who are gender non-conforming or transgender. I have also learned as in histories past, leather lifestyle is a family all in its own. Whether it be one of your local club members, friends who you only see at events, or someone that you met only once at a leather event, they are family. The ties that I have been able to make through this journey, especially this past year, I know I have made bonds that will last a lifetime. As SELF grows closer, I look forward to reigniting those bonds with friends from the past, and making new friends with the possibly of this being their first leather event. Seeing growth in the community was also one of my major goals. I believe by making the leather community more inclusive and opening our arms to those who need it will allow us to grow. I love our history and where we have come from and the rough road that we have had to travel to get where we are needs not to be forgotten. To continue down this road I believe that opening our hearts and doors to those who want to partake in the leather lifestyle is the only way to make it survive. With all the outside sources trying to bring us down, whether it be the government/state laws, radical people of many types, and many other anti-LGBTQIA+ organizations, we need as many people to help stand up and fight for our rights. This is not the time for us to be bickering between each other, this is the time for us to stand up and join forces as we have in the past so we can ensure that the LGBTQIA+ community, BDSM/kink community, and the Leather community can continue to exist. There are many amazing groups and people that are already doing this work and have also played a big part in my title year and I will never be able to thank them enough.

This is going to be a thank you to everyone who has helped me throughout my title year. Whether it be a big event or someone just simply taking the time to check in, just know all of the time and admiration that I have received will never be forgotten. There are so many people that have made an imprint on me this year, that I hope I can remember everyone but here is a list of several that I would truly want to thank in no particular order. I want to thank Ritual Steel and ATL Collective for having me and Apollo for allowing me to crash on your couch. Thank you to the Trademen for inviting me to your bar nights, House of Mercy Fundraiser, to be on your float for Charlotte pride, and for your amazing run! Also a thank you to Charlotte Pride and Greensboro Pride! Thank you to the Red Lions for having me at your bar nights, the teddy bear auction, and allowing me to be part of KinkU. Thank you to Talon clan of Greensboro for inviting me to your bar nights and your anniversary party. Thank you to Coastal Carolina Fetish Fair for inviting me to teach and holding a great event. Thank you to Kinky Trivia for allowing me to help with a game and for being a great and fun way to learn about the Kinky and Leather community. Thank you to the Leather and Leadership conference for having me, there was much to learn. And thank you to Master Angel of House of Reaper for hosting me at LLC. Thank you to Leather History Preservation Weekend for a great weekend filled with important leather history. I want to thank Wake Forest University for hosting a portion of the AIDs Quilt and allowing me to spend time honoring those who have passed. Thank you to the Jacksonville, NC MAST chapter for inviting me to teach and holding space. I want to thank Fetish Friday at Twist in Greensboro, NC for having me and throwing a great bar night. Thank you to Castle McCulluch for inviting me to talk about SELF at your Fetish Friday party. I want to thank those who put on the Greensboro Pride fundraiser event. I want to thank everyone who put on International Mr. Leather for having me and showing me a great time. I also want to thank my home club, Tarheel Leather Club, for all of your support that you have shown me this past year. I had a ball at our bar nights, Anniversary Picnic, and the Blackheart Ball. A big thank you to my Leather family for being there through all the highs and lows. Willy Tradesmen for sharing a title year and going to many events together. I want to give a huge thank you to my Sash family for being there, sharing space, and the constant check-ins to make sure we are all doing okay. And my loving partner, Dakota, for dealing with me day in and day out and helping me out so much through this title year. And last, but certainly not least, a giant thank you to South East Leather Fest. SELF would not be what it is without those who help keep it running, and to you I give my humble gratitude. Thank you for helping me start this journey of mine, and teaching me that everyone has something to add to the community.

And to those of you who have been following my journey on here, thank you. And always remember, when in doubt…shenanigans. 

July 20-23, 2023 - Kink Weekend OKC
September 21-25, 2023 - World Bear Weekend
September 28 - October 2, 2023 - 2023 Women of Drummer Contest Weekend
October 12-15, 2023 - Bootblack Round Up
November 3-5, 2023 - Leather History Preservation Weekend

     My Spring has been beautiful, so far... Florida has been unnecessarily hot, as always. I’ve been working with my House of Kush members to create amazing classes for events like THRIVE and IMsLBB, and I’ll be hosting a Critter Discussion Group this week with HOK as well. I see good things ahead of us, and I am excited. As many of my friends close to my age are wrapping up their college semesters, or even receiving their degrees – my academic journey is only now beginning again. For a few years, my education had been stalled when I’d become stuck in a transfer-purgatory during COVID’s spike. And my whole life, I’ve felt lost in what I should pursue as a career… it wasn’t that I had no interests. It was that I had too many. I wanted to work with animals, or be an entomologist, or psychologist or sex educator, or a practical makeup effects artist, or a professor. My autism gave me the gift of finding intense wonder in everything, and having the passion and focus to dig down rabbit holes – gaining an encyclopedic knowledge on odd, niche things. My parents have odd interests, too. My father, being considered one of the greatest living magicians in the world, and my mom being from a line of Irish-Romani Gypsies who had performed in circuses and magic shows for generations, they understood what it meant to want to do something different. All they have ever wanted is to see me happy, and it shows in everything they say and do. When I’d come out as transgender, the acceptance was instantaneous. When I told them about my title and what it meant, they were proud of me, and wanted to learn more. And when I recently settled on a career choice I was satisfied with, they supported me wholeheartedly.

     I’ve finally been able to apply to – and have been accepted into – a program in St. Petersburg for Funerary Service. I’d like to be a mortician and green death reform activist. I think it’s a noble enough cause… I’ve always been a little morbid, and I have a Service Heart, after all. I am a servant to my Leather community, a servant to nature & Mother Earth, and a servant to the dead and the grieving. I am here for humanity to the end. If as a kinkster I am here to savor the ecstasy of life and love, so too must I feel, understand, and preach the world’s agonies. There is an innate sensuality to just being human... How lucky we are, to be alive. Please forgive me for ever forgetting.

     Something else I am excited for in my life is the development of a bit of a side hustle of mine, turned into a legal sole proprietorship. Having a broad interest in the macabre since childhood, I also have always held a fascination with insects, and have been keeping them for years. I’ve kept exotic beetles, mantises, butterflies, and other creatures. Now, as an invertebrate husbandry hobbyist I’ve expanded to isopods, jumping spiders, tarantulas, scorpions, tailless whip scorpions, and ornamental freshwater shrimp. I just keep and breed them at home, my poor parents. I’ve also started a flesh-eating dermestid (aptly named “leather beetle”) colony in order to skeletonize naturally deceased animals… stay weird.

     So… my reign as SouthEast Bootblack 2022 is over – the end of an era. How fitting it is for Spring, then, to now be reborn and officially appointed as SouthEast Bootblack 2023, alongside joining SELF’s staff as a member of the Social Media Presence Team. What I hope goes down in the record for me is what I hope to continue as a titleholder still. “Once ours, always ours,” is something we say at SELF. The reason I’ve chosen to stay is because I am humbled that they’d want me to. My heart belongs to this organization and its purpose, its philosophy. That we are meant to care for each other, even beyond the function of our labels or titles. My becoming a titleholder showed future title contestants – and young Bootblacks – that where you came from is not an obstacle, it’s where you’re going. In the same way that love is not two people looking at each other, but two people looking forward in the same direction; SELF saw that even if I stood alone, I stood with a purpose and was looking forward. They saw someone who wouldn’t give up on their title but would eventually come to SELF to stay. They saw that becoming a SELF titleholder would provide me the network I needed to make the change I wanted to see. As the eclectic, odd character that came from a variety of backgrounds and interests, I showed titleholders can be… different. I have to thank them for that. For believing in me. For treating me seriously.

     I hope that I serve you well in 2023, as I hope I served you well the year prior. This time has been life-changing, for me. And I promise, as always, to keep moving forward. As I implore you to.

In Leather and Solidarity,

Apollo

So far on my journey as a Titleholder, I’ve already been to so many places. The first stop after winning was TES Fest in Piscataway, New Jersey, where I was graciously hosted and fed by Sir Edgar and slave raven (Thank you! Y’all are my conference parents basically).

I remember how friendly and accommodating the staff were — both the TES volunteers, and the hotel staff. I signed on as a Bootblack volunteer, and was thankfully still able to attend many classes, too. Dr. Phoenix, I recall (and loved) your Bootblacking course where you covered our history. I appreciate you letting me pitch in with my thoughts and questions. We will always have new things to learn in Leather. I was told afterward how honored you were I even showed… Doctor, YOU are an amazing, knowledgeable Bootblack and I cannot wait to see you again at Bootblack Round Up. I think we should always remember our place as a Titleholder that we are in service to our community — I am a student before I am anything, even when I reach the level of teaching others. I learned from you, so I am humbled by you. Our other Bootblack, Ana, calls me her Bootblack child now. We had wonderful conversations between clients at the stands. Thank you for watching over me. You also reminded me of the importance of Bootblacks, AND how we must stand up for ourselves. At TES Fest, this was my first taste of the weight that holding a Title has. Not in power, but connection. The eyes on you. I was generously provided everything I needed when I needed it, and was granted the trust of doing what I needed to do. And I made so many new friends. Thank you TES!

Second location was the Master/slave Gathering… oh my. What do I say to you all! Probably one of the most enlightening experiences on my M/s journey. I wasn’t meant to be a Bootblack that weekend but I couldn’t help to shine a couple of y’all’s boots. I taught an almost 3 hour-long Bootblacking intensive and a discussion on Asexuality in the Leather and Kink communities, and both were a success according to the encouraged feedback!

The most insight I think I received was from those I got to speak to after chasing them down post-Masters Circle: Sir Robert and Master Penguin. slave ginna, you are a joy and an inspiration. I hope to see more parents be like how you and Master Penguin are to your children, one day. Master Varii and slave neill, it was lovely to see you there… you were as kind, generous, and protective as always. Thank you for showing your support in attending my classes. Mia, Mia Rose… you are so strong and brave. I am proud to call you my Title family.  Master Jim and dee, you guys were awesome! Thank you for your contributions in my Asexuality class and for inviting me to write for you on the subject further.

The slave panel was, well, amazing. To hear how it makes EVERY. SINGLE. ONE of your slavehearts *sing* to make your Masters happy. slaves and those in service – I see know more than I admit I did – are some of the most generous, open-hearted, caring, talented people you will ever meet. WE, as Leatherfolk, are all in service to our community. That is what we’re here for, what we do. Myself, as someone more drawn to the left side of the slash in M/s and D/s, find that we are in service just as a slave may be in service to us. They’ve trusted You, and given You permission and consent to hold responsibility and power over them, a power they, in the back of everything, will always hold the power to take away. We forget that, and take them for granted sometimes I think.  There was a change in me, hearing so many different perspectives of M/s. Especially as a Dominant and interested Master listening to perspectives such as those on the right side of the slash.

And of course, getting to see Lady Catherine & jack, and the rest of my chosen family. What a weekend.

Next on my travels was Ritual Steel, right here at my home in Orlando at The Woodshed. The facilitator team absolutely rocked and made the space feel so comfortable, thank you. I had never before been able to experience body-based rituals in this manner, and I am forever a different person. To experience catharsis and introspection through pain, and to see those raw moments that others endure. I had the fortune of attending with Mr. SELF Max! Thank you for sharing your intimate experience with me.

Lastly, and most recently, I attended the Leather Leadership Conference in Atlanta just the other weekend! I was humbled and honored to have been invited to black and even to coordinate. I, of course, could not resist the offer when invited by The Woodshed, Master Cecil & Darcy themselves! Thank you for having me on your mind. Kinky Trivia was also a BLAST! And of course, it was exciting to see Max, Master Varii and slave neill again.
LLC weekend reminded me once again of the importance and value of Bootblacks. There were times during discussions where I am also reminded of how important accountability and calling *in* is in the community.

Finally, I had the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that weekend of attending the famous dungeon 1763 before it closed forever. Thank you Lani Rope for inviting me to the Black and Blue High Protocol Ball, and to Travis and Decadent Desires for hosting! The experience changed my journey as a kinskter, too.

Otherwise, god knows how many various other virtual classes I’ve attended at this point… I attended the virtual Service Oriented Conference, which was wonderful! I attended a hybrid-style Knife Play class from The Woodshed presented by a friend. I attended a class on impact hosted by my House of Kush presented by another friend.  So much growth and friendship these days! That’s one of the things I’m grateful for about my title, you can really get out of your shell if you let yourself.

And as I’ve said, I am always pursuing knowledge.

I personally hosted a Zoom discussion two days ago on AntiRomanyism (Discrimination of and Misinformation on Gypsies) in Kink, Leather, and beyond, and how we diversify and decolonize our mindsets to include more people such as myself in our conversations. I am a proud mouthful: an autistic, alternative, androgynous, queer, polyamorous, panromantic demisexual trans-nonbinary mixed Lebanese/Romani human! I think I hit BINGO for the most eclectic Bootblack Titleholder award, thank you!  And I just want to say, because I can’t say thank you enough… I appreciate everyone for their support and believing in me.

Until my journey brings me back to report to you all.

In Leather,
Apollo

 

Running for SouthEast Bootblack 2022 made the weekend feel simultaneously like a whirlwind, and like it was going at a snail's pace. The Bootblack Title runner’s schedule is particularly tight given there is a certain technicality to this position, and I felt like I barely had more than 5 minutes alone in my room at a time because I was either in the middle of a competition category, inhaling food, or socializing as is equally expected of me as a contestant. The only time I was really in my room was to sleep or shower.

 

So, it was over a month of intense, nonstop prep for me as SELFs contest approached… all for one weekend and 10 minutes on a stage. That, to me, was worth it. It was all worth it. 

 

I received so many kind words that weekend. That I was so well-spoken, that I can do an amazing shine, that I present myself well and that I’m an easy person to give points to… certainly helps my confidence! But when I won, it felt… 

 

Well, I’d first argue that I didn’t “win” anything.

 

I didn’t get “finally recognized” for something I “deserved” – though everyone there would fight anyone who’d say I didn’t deserve it – but it felt… natural. I was confident I’d earn the Title, as was everyone else. I was their dark horse, as I was called multiple times this weekend. I worked hard to get where I am, and I presented my raw and honest self as best I could. I am a Bootblack at my core, and now I bear the badge of honor that shows I’m one on the outside, too. I am proud of myself for being brave, and I am proud to represent my community and I hope I do it well. 

 

So when I won, I stepped into a place I felt at home in. I was hugged, I was congratulated, I was wrapped into conversations of being at other, future events, I got the whole spiel. I realized more readily how important this was… to me, and to my community. I have responsibilities now. However, I will take them on happily and responsibly, because that’s my job now, too. 

 

I’ve learned quite a lot, as well. I learned to stay open, humble, and honest. I learned a lot about Leather, about my community members, about Title Holding, and most essentially… about myself. 

 

I was a Bootblack, but was I a Leatherperson? Like how some nonbinary people do not identify under the Transgender label despite some arguing they are technically so anyway, I identified myself with bootblacking but not with Leather. I wanted to do things the “right” way, I wanted to be respectful. I felt I hadn’t deserved the label of Leather yet because… well, I hardly owned any leather, and I felt I didn’t know the history and significance of the culture well enough yet. However, at SELF I realized two things. 

 

One, Bootblacks ARE Leather. 

 

And two, Leather is not what I thought it was anyway. Leather is a never-ending quest — you are eternally an ever-growing student of Leather. And there is no RIGHT WAY! There is simply your way. Your family’s way. Your House’s way. And Leather is not what you wear, not entirely. Some people wear leather but aren’t Leather. Y’know. Leather is how you choose to walk through life.

 

I underwent a metamorphosis from an apprehensive, unsure Leather-interested person that weekend to A, capital A Leatherperson. To me, Leather now means being who you are wholly, naturally, and authentically. It means being a pillar of my community and being of service to them. It means entering a Leather space and feeling at home. 

 

Over this next year, I am so excited to get to be the educator I’ve always dreamed of being, and being able to further give back to my community. I am excited for all the events I’ll be attending where I get to be surrounded by my people, and get to meet so many more of you! And I look forward to all the exciting new places I get to travel thanks to SELF. 

 

Speaking of thanks… Thank you to those of you that made me realize who I am. That helped me find my soul, my family, and my purpose. 

 

Firstly, I want to thank my primary partner Elliot for being my guard dog and calming force that weekend. Thank you to friend & play partner Autrui and my pack for having my back and helping me prepare. Thank you to my friend Lilith for keeping me organized. Thank you to my titleholder family: Ms. Mia Rose, Max, Master Varii and slave neill — for being so passionate, strong, brave and supportive. 

 

Thank you to Master Cecil and The Woodshed Orlando for sponsoring me, taking me in, and being the foundation of my community. Thank you to Sir Leo and leathergem for your kind words that strengthened my resilience to move forward. Thank you to Lady Catherine for believing in me and encouraging me to run. 

 

Thank you to my auction basket donors: Chromaknotz, Beyond Piercing, Dye Addict Rope, P&C Creations MI, Lady Eos Products, Paradox at Battle Born Leather Care, Master Penguin, Sir Crow, and Olliefoxx Leather. You rock! 

 

Thank you to my Den Parents, Cavalier Andy and Jennifer for keeping me focused, on-track, confident and calm. Thank you Tidbit and Ms. Tori for being my guides and being SELFs amazing Bootblack Coordinators. 

 

Thank you to my technical judges Lee and AJ for being kind, knowledgeable, and supportive. Thank you to Kupcake for being another amazing local bootblack and technical judge! Thank you to head judge Khalid for your warmth, smiles, and guidance. Thank you to surprise judge WaywardSoul for sitting in my stand and having one of the vital conversations with me that changed my perspective of Leather. Thank you to judge SwitchyButch for your invigorating, interesting questions. Thank you to judge Kali Onyx for your insightful conversations.

 

(and can’t forget! — Thank you Country! It was an honor to shine your boots, to follow the lineage of winners who got to touch them, and to hear your stories.) 

 

Thank you to Boris for sitting in my stand, too, and being very funny! Thank you to Sir Edgar and slave raven for reminding me to drink water. Thank you to Jack, Miss Bettie, Scarlett, ABizzy, and Dawn for keeping things running. Thank you to our past Titleholders 2019 and beyond for paving the way and being the pillars I looked up to until I made it here, myself. Thank you to Something Wicked for your generosity and gift to me after my win. 

 

 And finally, thank you to all the rest of the attendees, volunteers, and SELF staff that over the course of the weekend changed my perspective of Leather. Thank you. 

So far on my journey as a Titleholder, I’ve already been to so many places.

The first stop after winning was TES Fest in Piscataway, New Jersey, where I was graciously hosted and fed by Sir Edgar and slave raven (Thank you! Y’all are my conference parents basically).

I remember how friendly and accommodating the staff were — both the TES volunteers, and the hotel staff. I signed on as a Bootblack volunteer, and was thankfully still able to attend many classes, too. Dr. Phoenix, I recall (and loved) your Bootblacking course where you covered our history. I appreciate you letting me pitch in with my thoughts and questions. We will always have new things to learn in Leather. I was told afterward how honored you were I even showed.  Doctor, YOU are an amazing, knowledgeable Bootblack and I cannot wait to see you again at Bootblack Round Up. I think we should always remember our place as a Titleholder that we are in service to our community — I am a student before I am anything, even when I reach the level of teaching others. I learned from you, so I am humbled by you. 

Our other Bootblack, Ana, calls me her Bootblack child now. We had wonderful conversations between clients at the stands. Thank you for watching over me. You also reminded me of the importance of Bootblacks, AND how we must stand up for ourselves.

At TES Fest, this was my first taste of the weight that holding a Title has. Not in power, but connection. The eyes on you. I was generously provided everything I needed when I needed it, and was granted the trust of doing what I needed to do. And I made so many new friends. Thank you TES!

Second location was the Master/slave Gathering… oh my. What do I say to you all! Probably one of the most enlightening experiences on my M/s journey. I wasn’t meant to be a Bootblack that weekend but I couldn’t help to shine a couple of y’all’s boots. I taught an almost 3 hour-long Bootblacking intensive and a discussion on Asexuality in the Leather and Kink communities, and both were a success according to the encouraged feedback!

The most insight I think I received was from those I got to speak to after chasing them down post-Masters Circle: Sir Robert and Master Penguin. slave ginna, you are a joy and an inspiration. I hope to see more parents be like how you and Master Penguin are to your children, one day. Master Varii and slave neill, it was lovely to see you there… you were as kind, generous, and protective as always. Thank you for showing your support in attending my classes. Mia, Mia Rose… you are so strong and brave. I am proud to call you my Title family.

Master Jim and dee, you guys were awesome! Thank you for your contributions in my Asexuality class and for inviting me to write for you on the subject further. 

The slave panel was, well, amazing. To hear how it makes EVERY. SINGLE. ONE of your slavehearts *sing* to make your Masters happy. slaves and those in service – I see know more than I admit I did – are some of the most generous, open-hearted, caring, talented people you will ever meet. WE, as Leatherfolk, are all in service to our community. That is what we’re here for, what we do. Myself, as someone more drawn to the left side of the slash in M/s and D/s, find that we are in service just as a slave may be in service to us. They’ve trusted You, and given You permission and consent to hold responsibility and power over them, a power they, in the back of everything, will always hold the power to take away. We forget that, and take them for granted sometimes I think. 

There was a change in me, hearing so many different perspectives of M/s. Especially as a Dominant and interested Master listening to perspectives such as those on the right side of the slash.

And of course, getting to see Lady Catherine & jack, and the rest of my chosen family. What a weekend.

Next on my travels was Ritual Steel, right here at my home in Orlando at The Woodshed. The facilitator team absolutely rocked and made the space feel so comfortable, thank you. I had never before been able to experience body-based rituals in this manner, and I am forever a different person. To experience catharsis and introspection through pain, and to see those raw moments that others endure. I had the fortune of attending with Mr. SELF Max! Thank you for sharing your intimate experience with me.

Lastly, and most recently, I attended the Leather Leadership Conference in Atlanta just the other weekend! I was humbled and honored to have been invited to black and even to coordinate. I, of course, could not resist the offer when invited by The Woodshed, Master Cecil & Darcy themselves! Thank you for having me on your mind. Kinky Trivia was also a BLAST! And of course, it was exciting to see Max, Master Varii and slave neill again.

LLC weekend reminded me once again of the importance and value of Bootblacks. There were times during discussions where I am also reminded of how important accountability and calling *in* is in the community.

Finally, I had the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that weekend of attending the famous dungeon 1763 before it closed forever. Thank you Lani Rope for inviting me to the Black and Blue High Protocol Ball, and to Travis and Decadent Desires for hosting! The experience changed my journey as a kinskter, too.

Otherwise, god knows how many various other virtual classes I’ve attended at this point. I attended the virtual Service Oriented Conference, which was wonderful! I attended a hybrid-style Knife Play class from The Woodshed presented by a friend. I attended a class on impact hosted by my House of Kush presented by another friend.

So much growth and friendship these days! That’s one of the things I’m grateful for about my title, you can really get out of your shell if you let yourself.

And as I’ve said, I am always pursuing knowledge. 

I personally hosted a Zoom discussion two days ago on AntiRomanyism (Discrimination of and Misinformation on Gypsies) in Kink, Leather, and beyond, and how we diversify and decolonize our mindsets to include more people such as myself in our conversations. I am a proud mouthful: an autistic, alternative, androgynous, queer, polyamorous, panromantic demisexual trans-nonbinary mixed Lebanese/Romani human! I think I hit BINGO for the most eclectic Bootblack Titleholder award, thank you!

And I just want to say, because I can’t say thank you enough… I appreciate everyone for their support and believing in me.

Until my journey brings me back to report to you all.

In Leather,

Apollo

I tell people that as a young titleholder, running for a title contest was the most important thing I’ve done in my life, at this point in it.

And it’s not the title itself.

It’s the people you connect with and the places you go traveling, the knowledge you acquire teaching (and attending) classes, and personally, it’s the life skills I’ve acquired as a younger person to help me make my way through the world in other areas of life. I had gone from someone no one knew, to feeling like somebody everybody knows! I feel surrounded by love, care, and support by my Leather community in a way I haven’t felt anywhere else. I was thrust into a position of responsibility that I’ve never held before.

Titleholding taught me how to stand my ground politely but firmly, to represent what I believe in unapologetically, to be a better educator and better communicator – to remember that boundaries are healthy & good. In my time in the community, it’s even aided in my struggle of finding a purpose in life.

Life is not easy with the neurodivergency, mental illness, and chronic health issues I have. But I think… education is something I will pursue for the rest of my life, whether it is within sex & kink or not. And in my time with SELF, I know that I too will become one of those titleholders that will be with Lady Catherine long past my title year being up.

So, thank you to those that helped me reach the point of possessing a title, because in turn I’ve learned how to discover myself.

I wanted to thank CephaloFae and Anomaly Arkansas for the community acknowledgement, and the award given to me by my chosen family for my contributions, referred to during the ceremony as “tireless pursuit of education and stigma smashing!” I am humbled and grateful. This was awarded to me during a time I was struggling greatly in my personal life. Time and time again, I am reminded by those I’ve met through my title that I have value & deserve to take up space, and take it up loudly.

I haven’t traveled very much since my last column update. From the months of October to December, I decided to take a step back from the majority of my titleholder work in order to recoup and take care of myself & my health. If there is any advice I could give to a new titleholder, it would be to remember to take care of yourself. You come first. You are not your title.

There were times before my break where I had to admit that I’d bitten off more than I could chew, because I wanted to push myself to go do all the things and talk to all the people and keep all the promises. But you can’t – it’s impossible to split yourself into pieces to attend them all! So, I thank all those who are patient and kind in awaiting my responses, and I’d like to thank those who run the events or classes I’ve had to reschedule on, for being incredibly understanding of my personal situation.

I want to thank my Leather family, House of Kush, for keeping me strong and being my place of comfort. I see my family’s efforts to educate and be of service, too, and I couldn’t be more proud of my Leather siblings.

Taking breaks is healthy! Titleholding is a lot different from what I’d expected when I ran – and a lot more fun. But it is also a volunteer position that I feel is important & toward something bigger than myself… taking a step back was my best effort to come back refreshed enough to be the best titleholder I can be given the work I feel must be done.

For those interested in running for a title… genuinely, I believe it is an experience of a lifetime. And I am endlessly proud to be a titleholder for an organization such as SELF – to be a representative of a good cause that I believe in, which is community, service, and safe & risk-aware kink education!

With purpose there is hope. Being your SouthEast Bootblack is my purpose and pursuit. It gives me hope for my own future, and for our community’s future. Thank you for believing in me, too.

Honestly?… When I’d initially been asked to run for the SouthEast Bootblack title, I had NO idea what I was getting myself into.

I didn’t have an inkling of what Titles meant, or what Titleholders do, their history and significance in the Leather community — none of it. I was a blissfully ignorant, naïve Leather infant. So! I accepted Lady Catherine’s invitation to be a contestant happily (Like I can ever bear to turn Ma’am down, anyway). Obviously that went well, hah! But oh dear… when I finally had it hammered into my head what I’d done, I had the classic Titleholder moment of, “WHAT have I gotten into?!”

But like I’ve said… the judges didn’t just see who I was, but who I could be. I always strive to put my best foot forward as being an honest, trustworthy and kind human. My character is not questioned as is my knowledge or experience. That I don’t own much leather at all. Yet to earn any. My own boots are scuffed. Leather isn’t what you wear, it’s who you are. I went into my Title run simply with the desire to have fun. I was new and unestablished in the Leather community, so… nothing to lose reputation wise really if I ran by myself and lost because my reputation at the time felt very… inconsequential. I just had everything to gain.

I was their dark horse, they’d said. I’d given my technical boot a shine so well-done they were confused, in under an hour with so much time I thought I needed to stall! But I made mistakes, too. I felt the stress, and pressure. Everything I said during interviews and conversations was genuine… but was maybe also said blindly, simply because I am, really, still quite new to this world. Sometimes even still, with the knowledge and skill that I have now… I will forget my own technique, or almost skip a step in the process, or not know how to answer another Bootblack’s question. It doesn’t have to be just about how much technical information you can remember, either. It isn’t about that. That’s why when running for my Bootblack Title, my technical boot and interview were only really a small portion of my overall contest… because titleholding is multidimensional. Your Leather — who you are — shines through much more prominently than whatever polish you’re using.

That’s why I’m so enthused when I hear of someone, or a friend, who is running for a title. Especially a Bootblack title, of course!  What you learn, and who you will meet, when running are golden opportunities. And on the horizon of being a titleholder, the experiences you acquire traveling and doing your work are priceless.

I hope to see lots of familiar faces at SELF this year! I eagerly anticipate what awaits for the future of Bootblacking, and hope to see some fresh faces in the scene, too!… If anyone is considering running for a title but acknowledges they may lack the life experience that comes with age, in my opinion: be not afraid! I believe in you. Just be you.

Shine on,

Apollo

My Spring has been beautiful, so far... Florida has been unnecessarily hot, as always. I’ve been working with my House of Kush members to create amazing classes for events like THRIVE and IMsLBB, and I’ll be hosting a Critter Discussion Group this week with HOK as well. I see good things ahead of us, and I am excited. As many of my friends close to my age are wrapping up their college semesters, or even receiving their degrees – my academic journey is only now beginning again. For a few years, my education had been stalled when I’d become stuck in a transfer-purgatory during COVID’s spike. And my whole life, I’ve felt lost in what I should pursue as a career… it wasn’t that I had no interests. It was that I had too many. I wanted to work with animals, or be an entomologist, or psychologist or sex educator, or a practical makeup effects artist, or a professor. My autism gave me the gift of finding intense wonder in everything, and having the passion and focus to dig down rabbit holes – gaining an encyclopedic knowledge on odd, niche things. My parents have odd interests, too. My father, being considered one of the greatest living magicians in the world, and my mom being from a line of Irish-Romani Gypsies who had performed in circuses and magic shows for generations, they understood what it meant to want to do something different. All they have ever wanted is to see me happy, and it shows in everything they say and do. When I’d come out as transgender, the acceptance was instantaneous. When I told them about my title and what it meant, they were proud of me, and wanted to learn more. And when I recently settled on a career choice I was satisfied with, they supported me wholeheartedly.

I’ve finally been able to apply to – and have been accepted into – a program in St. Petersburg for Funerary Service. I’d like to be a mortician and green death reform activist. I think it’s a noble enough cause… I’ve always been a little morbid, and I have a Service Heart, after all. I am a servant to my Leather community, a servant to nature & Mother Earth, and a servant to the dead and the grieving. I am here for humanity to the end. If as a kinkster I am here to savor the ecstasy of life and love, so too must I feel, understand, and preach the world’s agonies. There is an innate sensuality to just being human... How lucky we are, to be alive. Please forgive me for ever forgetting.

Something else I am excited for in my life is the development of a bit of a side hustle of mine, turned into a legal sole proprietorship. Having a broad interest in the macabre since childhood, I also have always held a fascination with insects, and have been keeping them for years. I’ve kept exotic beetles, mantises, butterflies, and other creatures. Now, as an invertebrate husbandry hobbyist I’ve expanded to isopods, jumping spiders, tarantulas, scorpions, tailless whip scorpions, and ornamental freshwater shrimp. I just keep and breed them at home, my poor parents. I’ve also started a flesh-eating dermestid (aptly named “leather beetle”) colony in order to skeletonize naturally deceased animals… stay weird.

So… my reign as SouthEast Bootblack 2022 is over – the end of an era. How fitting it is for Spring, then, to now be reborn and officially appointed as SouthEast Bootblack 2023, alongside joining SELF’s staff as a member of the Social Media Presence Team. What I hope goes down in the record for me is what I hope to continue as a titleholder still. “Once ours, always ours,” is something we say at SELF. The reason I’ve chosen to stay is because I am humbled that they’d want me to. My heart belongs to this organization and its purpose, its philosophy. That we are meant to care for each other, even beyond the function of our labels or titles. My becoming a titleholder showed future title contestants – and young Bootblacks – that where you came from is not an obstacle, it’s where you’re going. In the same way that love is not two people looking at each other, but two people looking forward in the same direction; SELF saw that even if I stood alone, I stood with a purpose and was looking forward. They saw someone who wouldn’t give up on their title but would eventually come to SELF to stay. They saw that becoming a SELF titleholder would provide me the network I needed to make the change I wanted to see. As the eclectic, odd character that came from a variety of backgrounds and interests, I showed titleholders can be… different. I have to thank them for that. For believing in me. For treating me seriously.

I hope that I serve you well in 2023, as I hope I served you well the year prior. This time has been life-changing, for me. And I promise, as always, to keep moving forward. As I implore you to.

In Leather and Solidarity,

Apollo

 

So, our title year has drawn to a close.

The emotions I feel about it are complex, but not at all negative.

I look back at the photos of my sash family from that contest weekend, and I am overwhelmed by intense feelings of joy, love, pride, honor, and bittersweet – it moves me to tears every time, if only just to even think about. I am in tears now, as I pour my heart out to you all in a level of vulnerability that I hope I’ve carried across the board during my year. I see the photos of myself alongside Ms. SELF Mia Rose, SELF M/s Master Varii & slave neill, and Mr. SELF Max on the night of the final contest before winning… and we all look so happy, because it was true. None of us *really* knew if we would be winning once we left backstage, but we were still celebrating, and supporting each other all the same. As we near our end-of-reign together, I just wanted everyone to know how grateful I am… to have a sash family that actually feels like FAMILY. We’ve been there for each other since day one, and will continue to. This is only just the beginning of our lives together, and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us.

Thank you, Miss Mia, mi hermana. You have become my family, beyond the sash. You support me unwaveringly. We have been vulnerable to each other emotionally, we’ve made each other cry (in the best way). I was honored to have been by your side during your run for IMsL. I was honored that you asked me to stand by you as your Bootblack, because it wasn’t just to look good at your contest – it was because you really wanted me there. You are, more than anything, such a genuine and passionate human being. I am so proud to call you, Ms. SELF 2022, my sister. You step up and represent, at events you don’t just talk to the Leatherfolk but the hotel staff, the wait staff, the housekeeping, the janitors – in Spanish. You lift others up who don’t always have a voice, including mine. If you, or Master Varii had not sent me aid when you knew I needed it, there are some events that changed my life that I would not have otherwise been able to go to, if it weren’t for you. Thank you.

Master Varii, you have impeccable leathers and a strong, gorgeous, powerful, impenetrable presence. You have felt like my protector and guide, and given your Psychology background, our conversations are certainly not “therapy” lol, but… you have insight, openness, sympathy, new perspectives, and reassurance that I am grateful for.

slave neill, you have such a kind soul. You are a friendly face, your expression is soft. I’ve always thought you are one of the funniest men I know, and you have always supported and cared for me, too. Master Varii & you own your M/s – your power exchange is well-formed, fluid, and palpable. You both had an incredible title year, and carried your titles with so much grace. It is no wonder that you now carry the honor of caring for our Leather Quilt, too.

Max, thank you. You’ve got an “older brother” energy to me, and I suppose now that is true, too.  You have stayed in my childhood home, you’ve met my parents. Over our contest weekend, you and I formed a special bond. When we found those brief moments of sharing space privately, I think we both felt through each other that our success was assured.

I have inklings of what the conversation had been like behind closed doors when I ran. And I’ve said it before – that it wasn’t just about who I was (because I think who I was, was already pretty great, hah! Someone who was kind, friendly and passionate) but who I could be. My potential was there. To be the change you wish to see in the world by stepping into a platform & position to be visible and represent what you stand for. To have the network, resources & support to make it happen. All we can do is be genuine, and the rest will fall into place naturally. I really feel that in the end, my year was about authenticity.

To be in that position & platform, you have a form of power, and a voice, and that it does come with a level of responsibility. And even though to be held to such high standards by an entire community, you find a way to lift others up, too. That you stand with people, not above them. And whether they be Bootblacks, or trans folx, or volunteers… you call in the undervalued but vital members of our community and thank them in a way they deserve to be recognized. I think it especially means a lot, to be that example for others not just in what you say but what you do, and that it touches deeply to hear it from someone you admire and care about so greatly. At times we need to hear it the most.

To have the character and belief that it isn’t about “winning” but that it’s about showing up, and that if you can touch and inspire even just one person like you by being up on that stage then you’ll be happy… then I know that someone is a titleholder in the making. Because that’s what we’re here for, isn’t it. We’re here to give back to others like us, and who have been there for us, too. To me the question isn’t “What is Leather?” it is “What is Leather to you?” – Your Leather may not be my Leather, and a lotta the time that’s okay. But we are neither a monolith, nor what a lot of people think we are, anyway. I’ve changed folx’ worldview about Leather by sharing my passion, joy, and positive experiences.

Through being a titleholder, I’ve felt the growing pains involved with newfound visibility and responsibility. But because of it I have grown so much mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I’ve become a better educator, a better player, a better advocate, a better ambassador and representative, and have become all the better of a man for it, too. My cup, and my heart is full. I am satisfied.

“Once ours, always ours,” is what we say around here. Because my journey also is not over. I genuinely wish to stay with SELF for as long as they’ll have me. I continue to carry the torch, I’ve been asked to join SELF staff – which I accepted, I am more than willing to continue to volunteer, or judge one day, emcee, and help future contestants. And it is not out of any feeling of indebtedness or obligation but out of true desire, love, and passion for what we do and what we stand for.

I’ve yet to judge a contest myself (though I’m sure that will change soon enough), I’d like to think anyone who has would be inclined to agree that… the judges should want… to see you ALL do well. You should all have an equal opportunity to do that, an equal opportunity to show who you are, to prove yourself, and to successfully complete your title contest. Everything they have to say should be in the good faith of the contest. And to not let anything they say to you, or about you, be taken to heart. Here I will also thank Chrissie & Melissa, our Tally Goddesses. Thank you for offering your time, energy, focus, effort, and knowledge to make our contest all the more fair, equitable, and unbiased.

People always ask what you’ll do if you win, but not what you’ll do if you lose. What matters is that you were there. You showed up, you represented, you did the thing. Nobody can ever take this weekend, these moments and these memories from you. That’s one for the history books. Even showing up is a feat in itself.

Leather isn’t what you wear, it’s who you are. I had no leather gear when I ran, and any leather I did wear was almost embarrassingly scuffed or dirty. But my argument was that I was so busy taking care of everybody else, that I never had time to take care of myself. I know now that there are many Bootblacks out there who do not care for their own leathers for a similar reason.

I meet people who have disinterest or even an active distaste for the Leather community. My partner had been the same when I met him. They believe (because they see or hear from the outside), that we are all entitled, pretentious, and gate-keepers. That I would never be accepted by TWUE Leathermen for being a young trans man…. But I have never, in any other category of my life, in any place in the “real world,” have felt more accepted, affirmed, safe, welcome, and loved than here with you all.

Community is, oftentimes, Leather to me. And this community really saved my life. They still do, again and again. I sometimes argue that my chosen Leather family is the only thing still holding me together, these days. Running for a title – in my 22 years on this Earth – was also, to me, the most important decision I have ever made in my life.

When I ran, I didn’t know anybody, and nobody knew who I was. I didn’t even really know what a title was when I applied. It was technically my first SELF besides Mayhem during the pandemic. I became a Bootblack during COVID era – I had no choice but to learn that way. I was totally unprepared, only four weeks before the contest… and no one helped me. If anything I was actively discouraged by some, of whom it hurt to hear from the most because of their own position in the community. They didn’t think I was ready, and assumed I had lost before I even stepped foot in the door given all the odds stacked against me. But I worked every day, shining boots from friends and timing my practice to under an hour for my tech. I wrote my speech alone, made my presentation alone, put together auction baskets alone, planned my fantasy alone. With no assistance or advice.

Lady Catherine had personally implored me to run. What kept me going that whole weekend was that SHE believed in me. That she has a nose for title winners. She was – funnily and surprisingly enough – the only person I knew there, and the most important one. She’d kept in touch with me after meeting at SELF Mayhem, because she’d been delighted and intrigued by the way I thought and spoke. She kept tabs on my newfound Bootblacking journey.

But I was still, completely and utterly alone. Lady Catherine, out of fairness for all, cannot interact with any contestant once they submit an application until the contest is over. I had no handler, and if anything I handled my poor partner Elliot that I dragged along that weekend who was my only support, but slept in the hotel room the majority of the weekend, and therefore had not attended any of my categories besides the contest evening itself.

But I rocked the boat, I challenged the narrative. I was problematic and provocative in the best way. I was their “dark horse,” they said, that I would be the most eccentric Bootblack titleholder ever. That I was something they’d never seen before, I looked and identified and thought and spoke and did things they’d never seen before… and they loved it. Now, all these people are my family, my friends, my safe space, and my home. Now everyone knows who I am…. and I them! Personally. I got to speak with my wonderful Head Judge from that weekend, Khalid El Bey after my win, and the feedback I received was that there were, really, NO complaints or critiques to give. That I did wonderfully, and that I was perfect just the way I was. That he was proud of me. I have to thank him for that, for Khalid to have been such a strong presence but also a kind, comforting, and reassuring one. For seeing me, trusting in me, and believing in me. I still talk to, and I am actually now quite close with, several of my judges from then.

Thank you to Leather Kitty, for not taking any offense that I had not been aware of your Chemistry background, hah. Thank you for correcting me when I had been wrong during my tech interview about how some of my products actually work, and for offering to teach me – so that I may grow rather than be limited by what I don’t even know that I don’t know.

Thank you to my Surprise Judge, WaywardSoul. And I do put emphasis on the “surprise” part. You were the only judge that weekend who sat in my stand. Since then you are still the closest to me out of my judge panel that weekend; you are playful and hilarious, thoughtful and insightful, and supportive. Thank you for all the jokes and memes you send me. It shows me that you care, and that you think about me.

Thank you to SwitchyButch for asking the most difficult, but interesting and thought-provoking questions during my interviews. I did not see them as “gotchas,” but questions to see how I reacted and responded when giving a hard answer, to think on my feet and sit with any discomfort I may feel when faced with a form of “controversy.” Because as titleholders, that kind of thing will come up, and you must show that you are prepared for it.

Thank you to Kali ONYX, for also having been so sweet to me. I felt that you and I had clicked well that weekend over mutual ground & interests! We admitted to each other later, that we both had wished we’d kept more in touch over my title year. I was humbled and honored that you asked me to present for Blood, Sweat & Queers, and I am so excited to have that opportunity with you and BSQ soon!

Thank you to AJ ter kuile, for having so much knowledge & passion for Bootblacking, and for being a friendly face… I was happy to see some Florida Bootblack rep, hah! And to Kupcake - you are so sweet, friendly, talented, and beautiful! Your happy, excitable energy truly rubbed off on me, too. More Florida Bootlack rep… and neurodivergency! You make me feel like there is space for me as an Autistic Bootblack.

To our judge J. Tebias Perry,  I appreciate your support toward events benefiting the efforts to push Leather culture forward. As the youngest titleholder I know, I am aware that I am a symbol of the future of the Leather community and where we are headed. I, too, believe that our Leather community must keep looking forward, and to have a desire to adapt, improve, and grow.

To my dear friend, Captain Lyte: you are a local whom I’ve since become even closer with, as well. I use “family” to describe anyone I’ve grown to love rather than any strict label, and you… are family to me, too. Thank you for being Judge’s Assistant that weekend. I’m sure the Judges appreciated you just as much, too! You were such a comforting presence even then, and I will always remember after my interview, when you ran out the door with me, leaned your head out, and said, “I just wanted to say, that… was AWESOME. You did so well.” Since then I have stayed in your home, and I am again where you’ve trusted me enough to meet your family and your children. I know, to a degree, that behind those closed doors with the judges that you spoke up for me, because you really saw me. I only wish you the best during your run for SELF Person of Leather, this year. I see you, too, and know you have the heart of a titleholder.

Thank you to my Den Parents: Orange (Jen) and Blue (Cavalier Andy). Orange… You were a tough cookie! But through it all, you made me feel so confident after my interview because you told me I rocked that shit. And after getting flustered enough during an incident over the weekend, the passion in your voice when you told me that I was your dark horse, that you don’t let just anyone touch your leathers but you’d let me do your high shines, and that I shouldn’t let anyone make me feel small for being something new… that meant a lot to me. I was humbled that you asked me to do your makeup for the contest!

Andy – I couldn’t have asked for a greater… great-great-great… multiplied-by-something sash granddaddy! I have been watching your transition and gender journey, and I know exactly how you feel. I am so proud of you, and so happy you are more comfortable with who you are, confident in your own body, and know yourself better now. You were a deeply compassionate and gentle man to me over the weekend. You really are my Knight, too.

To my Bootblack Coordinators and friends Tidbit & Mama Tori… You, Ms Tori, had been one of the few to call me before my run and offer any advice you could give, which I greatly appreciated. Y’all are part of my SELF Bootblack titleholder ancestry, too! Mama, you really protected me that weekend. You told me that if anyone else made me upset again, that they had no place near your stands, or me, because you’re my Mama. You’re a caregiver and guide to all your Bootblacks. Tidbit – you are also hilarious, and I know you vouched for me, knowing I had too many stand hours during my contest to seem fair to my energy and wellbeing. So, thank you BOTH for speaking up for me when I could not.

And another “thank you” to all those who had donated to my auction baskets: OllieFoxx Leather, Dye Addict Rope, P&C Creations Michigan, Beyond Piercing, Bootblack Paradox at BattlebornLeathercare, Lady Eos Products, Master Penguin for The Woodshed, Sir Crow, and Chromaknotz. You jumped at the opportunity to support me at a cost to yourselves – through the donations of your beautiful, handmade business products, and I am eternally indebted to you.

An extra-special “Thank you,” to the whole team at SELF that makes my world go ‘round!

Lady Catherine & Jack, I hope you know how much I love you. I see how much work you both put in, every day, and your support of me and the rest of my sash family has never made me feel alone, or without help. I’m sure my sash siblings feel the same.

Notable thanks to the SELF staff… Randi, you give so much back to your community, and I see you do it with so much passion and love. Thank you always, for your patience with me, your kindness and your understanding. You work so hard every day, too. I see you. To tracey, you do all that money-business that would give me a headache if I had to even look at numbers… so thank you. Thank you to Scarlett for being a total sweetie as well as an irreplaceable facet of the SELF family – GOOD LUCK, at your run for Ms. SELF this year! Thank you to Lady Victoria for doing all the program-things. I like to think you’re called “Fun Programming” because YOU are fun – but the technical definition is fine, too! Thank you to GoddessMW, for helping keep all our social media vibrant and running smoothly. Thank you to our TitleAide, ABizzy, for making sure we and all future contestants are well-prepared to be successful! Thank you to Cynthia for being our Volunteer Chair, because who would we be without our volunteers?

Thank you to Dee, my fellow FetLife SPT coworker since I recently joined SELF’s social media team – you and I have much in common, it seems! Not to mention how patient, understanding, supportive, friendly, and excitable you’ve been with me. I love littles. Thank you also to PantherG0ddess for being a big help as a member of SELF’s SPT, too. Thank you Dawn, for being a part of the group alongside my sash family and being our Coordinator. You keep SELF’s website up and running smoothly! Thank you both Brieana & Bea for your amazing (and speedy!) work to make our team some amazing graphics – not just online, but extending to the event weekend! Thank you to Heather S. for being our Lead Staff Photographer, because you take beautiful photos. Thank you to Miss Bettie, for all the work you’ve done for SELF over the years. You and I always have warm, healing, insightful, and enjoyable conversations. Thank you (x2) Miss Bettie for also being my beloved designated carpooling buddy to Atlanta. Thank you to mycalyne for being the best sash mama ever and an amazing Bootblack. Thank you to Devaena for being a helping-hand to all our volunteers. Thank you to HellyFaye for working hard on our Operations team.

Thank you to Country, who’s had that same pair of boots shined by every winning SouthEast Bootblack titleholder since SELF’s inception. You have amazing stories and a kind soul. I cannot describe to you how it felt, to be entrusted to shine those boots, too. To me, it showed that you knew that I would win that weekend – I felt more assured in it, because of you. Your gut-instinct was correct.

Thank you to Sir Edgar & slave raven, and rachael. You’d been there at our contest as a part of Mia’s handler team, but every one of you has become my family, too. I call Sir Edgar and slave raven my “con parents.” You have housed me, fed me, protected me, supported me, and love & care for me. There are no words for how grateful I am. I love you, too. They both were also among the first folx I ever met in the Leather community. You have always, always been kind to me. rachael, too, is a total sweetheart, and a shoulder I know I could lean on when I need it.

And THANK YOU… to all those I had not named but whom I could go on breathlessly gushing about. To everyone I have met during my Leather journey and across my travels. You all made me realize that Leather to me… can also just be about entering a Leather space and feeling like you’re at home. You helped me understand that I am a Leatherman, through-and-through. This is to all those I’ve conversed with, met, played with. To every volunteer – for SELF and every other event – to all my Bootblacks out there… this is for you. It has always been for you. To all those I have watched present, or have hosted safe spaces, play parties, socials, panels, and discussion groups. To all those I have yet to meet in-the-flesh though we’ve been dying to. To all those future contestants… YOU are my community. And I am honored to be a part of your lives, and to have touched you so, as you have me.

I hope I have served you all well, this year. I’d like to think so. None of you would let me think otherwise – the love, warmth, support, affirmation, and acceptance I have felt from my community has been immense. My people… glorious.

In Love, Longevity & Leather,

Apollo

SouthEast Bootblack 2022

 

   

July 9, 2023 - MAsT NY
July 27-30, 2023 - Southwest Decadence
August 5, 2023 - Kinky Spelling BDSM - Atlanta, GA
September 7-10, 2023 - Sex Down South
October 6-8, 2023 - Atlanta Leather Pride
October 14-16, 2003 - Atlanta Pride Weekend
November 2-6, 2023 - Midwest Leather Kink Alliance - Midwest Person of Leather
November 9-12, 2023 - Leather Reign
November 30-December 3, 2023 - Florida Power Exchange
March 2024 - Leather Leadership Conference
March 20-25, 2023 - South Plains Leatherfest
April 2024 - IMSLBB

Standing backstage with my head bowed I wondered if I had given it enough, if I had shown up as authentically as I could, and if the community and judges then decided that I had earned the right to represent them. I had a platform I was passionate about, and unwilling to compromise on where I stood. I also knew it was a risk to not play pretty politics. And then I had the privilege of competing with Captain Lyte who had given it their all as well.

In the dim light of the backstage area we all stood waiting for the announcement. When they called my name I had but a moment to breathe, hug my partners, and step through the curtain before the sound of my community enthusiastically cheering for me overwhelmed me. It felt amazing.

All weekend long I had people come up to me voicing their support, encouraging me to use my voice to start the evolution revolution I think we need. I have never felt more seen and more validated as I did standing on that stage having the medallion, sash and patch presented to me. I am already searching for additional opportunities to teach on ways we can change, and ways we can have more fun. I cannot wait to get out and meet more of you regionally and nationally. The title is a wonderful vehicle to go out and make the community you want! So many of you reached out to me that weekend, and in the subsequent weeks to work out when we can see each other again. I cannot wait to sit down and have one of my famous “meals with Mara” conversations with more of you! I want to listen to what is happening within our community and how I can grow, do better, and help others to do so.

My journey in the Leather community hasn’t always been an easy one. There have been innumerable instances where I was told that I wasn’t enough, that my voice as a slave didn’t matter, that things that I thought should be different weren’t up for discussion. I had spent most of my life trying to be who everyone else wanted me to be, giving up who I needed to be. This run was my way of reclaiming huge pieces of my identity. To be able to stand tall in my community and say “this is who I am”. I learned that I am happiest when I feel safe to be all of who I am. The most important lesson from the weekend was that when I show up authentically it resonates with other people. The fact that you decided that my voice had value, and that I had something to offer was huge and I will forever be grateful.

My list of thank-yous will be long but without these folx, I would never have been able to compete the way I did. They gifted me with time, financial resources, unconditional support and so much more.

To my sponsors: Secular Shepherdess, The Woodshed, and Devyn Stone, and all of the amazing people who donated items for my baskets, the fact that all of you heard my vision and unequivocally said "YES we are in", gave me the confidence and financial backing I really needed to make my title run a success. An extra special thank you to Kel at the Secular Shepherdess for the years of support leading up to this event. Here’s to many more years and more 12 hour brunches!

To the judges: Thank you for the thoughtful, challenging, insightful questions. Thank you for witnessing my platform and supporting me as I worked on presenting the most authentic version of myself. It is really hard to put yourself out there to be judged, and I am grateful for the grace and wisdom you shared with me.

To the SELF staff: Thank you for the tireless work you do to make the event a success year after year. This was my 17th SELF, and it was amazing to reconnect with people I knew in 1996 as well as getting to meet people for the first time. I am honored that I get to be a small part of your family. A huge thank you to Andy for keeping all of us moving forward over the weekend!

To Sandy (yes you get a special shout out): Thank you for helping me stay on this planet.

So much gratitude for all of my partners: To Phil for stepping up to help Luna while still finding time and energy to help me. To Nikki for immediately volunteering to be my handler even when it meant missing out on family time. To Lacey for being my quiet little space in the storm, and to Luna for making the weekend twice as hectic but twice as rewarding. Thank you for encouraging me when it felt overwhelming. Thank you for supporting each other, and thank you for being on board this rollercoaster! Now we get to do it all again in 2024!

To the many, many people I am honored, and blessed to call family: It has been a very long strange trip, and this year has been a doozy. Throughout it all you have cheered me on, donated soooo much stuff for my baskets, proofread every contest related piece of material,and listened to me doubt myself. Thank you for seeing all of me. Thank you for supporting me even if you don’t like Leather titles (or even knew what one was!) Thank you for being my place of refuge and healing. Thank you for helping me become who I am today.

And finally - to every person I had the honor of sharing space with during the weekend - THANK YOU! Those moments waiting on elevators, hanging out between classes, and schmoozing at hospitality parties, reminded me of why I wanted to do this in the first place. Thank you for sharing your truths with me. Thank you for the countless words of encouragement and validation. Thank you for voting for me! I hope I make you proud this year. Can’t wait to see you along this next part of my journey!

Oh 2023 who knew you were going to go out with such a bang!

I have now been your SouthEast Person of Leather for six months. In that time I have attended events from coast to coast and met people who have changed life forever. They have challenged the way I think, the way I hold space, the way I advocate and the way I serve my community.

It’s my favorite part of being your representative! That I get to sit and talk and learn from and with you. I have started a project called Leather Fast and Dirty, where I ask people 10 questions about the community. So when you see me out and about and want to participate please let me know! I did the first one with my Leather sister, Vi when we got to spend Thanksgiving together. Going home is always such a relief where I can just be with family and sit and discuss what fills our slave hearts and how we fill them as we age. Or what is in our top 10 of items we want for the library. It has made me think long and hard about what I want to do with whatever life I might have left.

In all my travels, I have seen some events embrace and champion equity and inclusion and others not so much. I see people quietly doing the work in the background, and others loudly saying all the “right” things but not actually doing the “right” things. I ended 2023 at an event so profound that almost 10% of the attendees got tattoos of the logo to hold that space with them always. It looked like the evolution revolution I have been working towards: Queer, Trans, People of the Global Majority, TNG, Disabled. I don't cry easily but there were times that I couldn’t keep the tears from falling. HUGE kudos to my extended title family Master Luke and his slave Victor for creating such magic.

And I guess that's the best way to describe my 2023 - Magic. Magic built by profound connections with the new family I have gained this year. Communal magic, raised when we gather at events. Personal magic in my growth and evolution as a slave, an educator and a human in general. I don’t do resolutions in the traditional sense, but in my heart I have strengthened my resolve to keep doing the work I am asking all of us to do. I may not always do it right, but I can promise you that I am doing it the best that I can at the moment. And when I know better, I am doing better. In three months I will be standing on another stage being me, representing you. So as we head into a new year, may we all have a year filled with growth and grace. Thank you for your continued support and I can’t wait to see what the future holds!

 

This has been one of the most joyous, healthiest, and rewarding years of my life. And it has flown by in the blink of an eye. There is a saying in Latvian: "the days are long but the years are short", and I can't find a better way to encapsulate my experience.

I have attended 24 events in the last 12 months so you think I would be great at packing but I still suck at it. More accurately I am bad at unpacking in order to then repack but traveling this much has been such a blessing (though I really could use a service human!)

I have been honored to teach all over the country, in person and online. I had a chance to represent the SouthEast every place I went and got to bring home a third International Person of Leather title to our region! I got to be part of the larger Person of Leather title family and meet some of the most giving, kind and open people I have ever met in my Leather journey. People who made space for me as I traveled by myself, people who shared hotel rooms, meals, and wonderful conversations on how to make the changes we want to see in our community. People who have become an actual family that I love.

My platform for running for Person of Leather was changing our community, and I like to think I have moved that needle even if in very small ways. Every event I went to I tried to make one small suggestion on how to make the event more accessible, more equitable, more inclusive. Every producer I spoke to listened with an open heart and asked how they could do more. Every class I taught I tried to challenge people to think about the community and their role in it differently. This work isn't easy, and honestly takes more time than it should, but these small changes are adding up.

During my interview for International Person of Leather, I was asked how I was going to make all these changes I was advocating for. I said like a bulldozer, a kind and loving bulldozer. One who can gently nudge the community, pick up and move obstinate obstacles out of the way, or to simply roll over the harmful parts. So I am out here with a literal bulldozer plushie an anonymous fan sent me (thank you to whomever you are!) trying to remember that determination, persistence, and some nuance pay off. That when I encounter resistance it is a teachable opportunity to try to both extend grace, and to educate. This year has made me even more conscious that words and language matter, and that all of us can use a refresher course on this from time to time. 

We are evolving. Faster than some of us like or are comfortable with, and not nearly fast enough for others. But that is the way of the world and all communities. What you can do is help reinforce our Leather foundations. Not just words like honor and integrity that get used so much they have almost become cliche, but words like radical, anti-establishment, queer. For those too are our foundations. We are the ones who push boundaries, the ones who love and commune differently. 

The great thing about being a bulldozer is that as much as it can push and move, it is primarily used for construction, vs a tank just running over things and blowing them up. This year, being your SouthEast Person of Leather, and now your International Person of Leather has given me the opportunity to push,move, and continue building on our foundations. 

It has been an absolute honor serving our community as your SouthEast Person of Leather. I hope that I served y'all well this past year and I hope you will come find me and my bulldozer stuffie as we meet again on this journey!